Friends to the End
by Erica Dawn
Summary: What if the Avengers were more like Friends? Let's go through all ten seasons with plots influenced by the show but starring our favorite Marvel characters, including X-Men, Fantastic Four, Ultimate Spider-Man and Kate Bishop. Clint/Phil Tony/Pepper Natasha/Loki Slash AU Sort of Crack Fic Angst
1. Chapter 1

Title: Friends to the End

Author: Ericadawn16

Prompt: The wonderful mash-up of Friends and Avengers

Character/Pairing(s): Clint/Jessica Drew, Jessica Drew/Vange Whedon, Tony/Pepper, Pepper/Natasha, Tony/Thor, Phil/Clint, Clint/Natasha, Clint/?, Natasha/?

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Slash, lots of slash, mild language

Spoilers: a few references here and there, nothing big

Summary: What if the Avengers were more like Friends?

Beta: BIG Thanks to lavendergaia and Valoscope

The One where Loki gets a Roommate

"That probably could have gone better," Tony Stark remarked in the large rented room. He was surrounded by the other members of the Avengers.

"You mean the part where she tried to kill him at the altar and we had to stop it?" Bruce asked, shaking his head.

"Or the part where your mechanic skills were outmatched by a small child?" Clint countered with a grin. His blue eyes held a mischievous glint.

"First of all...Franklin Richards is no small child. He's more...a freak of nature. Now having your fiancé turn out to be a robot who then tries to kill you and everyone in the room...not good, but actually, I was thinking about hiring this deejay. It's been nothing but Mariah Carey for an hour now," Tony explained. Then, he took a large gulp of his drink.

"Now you know why Jessica and I eloped to Florida," Clint muttered.

"Happy," Tony spoke, "Happy had a nice wedding."

"That's because you had me plan most of it which Rebecca was not thrilled with and now Happy can't even work for me," Pepper complained.

"None of us really has any reason to talk," Steve spoke, casting a glare at Tony.

"True, how long did your marriage last again, Clint? A month? Two?" Tony asked. Pepper cleared her throat.

"Technically, the divorce hasn't been finalized yet," Clint answered.

"Where is Agent? I haven't seen him here yet. I'm sure he needs a drink...or five," Tony spoke, "before Thor finishes it off."

"Leave him alone. Barton and I have known him the longest. He went somewhere private and we'll see him again when he's ready," Natasha said with a glare.

"Then, why's Archer Boy gone?" he asked and it was true that Clint was now missing from the table.

"Maybe because you're an ass," Natasha suggested.

Clint supposed the Museum of Natural History was neutral ground. He waited for Jessica Drew to show up. When she did, he almost didn't recognize her. Usually, her hair was dyed black but today, she was wearing a wig and looser fitting clothes. He couldn't fathom why she would want to meet unless there was a snag with the divorce on her end.

"Jessica," he acknowledged with a nod. His first instinct was still to touch her, embrace her but that wasn't his place now. She had Vange for that.

"Barton," she said in a low voice.

"What's new?" he asked, trying for casual. She smiled and shook her head. Then, she took his hand and took them somewhere less populated which also happened to be a blind spot from the cameras. She undid the jacket to reveal a small bulge.

"Pregnant."

Clint reached out to steady himself on the edge of the exhibit. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut.

"What?"

"Our son," she elaborated and he tried to put words together in his head. He wasn't having much luck. Jessica laughed.

Phil Coulson didn't look up when he heard the door open. From the footsteps, he knew it was the owner of the apartment. He put one hand on his gun and the other on his taser.

"You're alive?" Loki asked with narrowed eyes.

"It appears that way. You're not the only one capable of deception," Phil spoke.

"But why are you here?" Loki questioned.

"I had planned on being at my wedding reception, followed by a flight to an exotic locale. I had even given up my apartment in favor of her apartment. Now, that's gone and by our records, you haven't even been to this apartment in at least six weeks," Phil explained. It was a large penthouse with four large rooms for bedrooms, one bathroom and a main room that shared a library, kitchen, dining area and the television area that he was using.

"Don't you have an entire tower for this purpose?" Loki asked. "With that large A?"

"And face Tony Stark with that look of pity I saw earlier? I'd rather take my chances with you."

Before Loki could think of a new retort, Phil turned the volume on the television up. It wasn't his usual fare but he didn't feel like his usual self. He wasn't sure what to think. Loki seemed to study the television with inquisitive green eyes.

"And mortals enjoy that?" he asked about the act that Phil had previously only seen illustrated in the Kama Sutra.

"Apparently. I turned it on and there it was, assumed you were a fan," Phil spoke.

"No," Loki said but didn't stop watching and after a few minutes, joined Phil on the couch.

TWO HOURS LATER...

EIGHT HOURS LATER...

TWO DAYS LATER...

The door swung open with a sudden force. Phil guessed who it was before craning his neck but it was still disappointing; five Avengers plus Pepper.

"I left my phone and car at the reception so how did you find me?" Phil asked.

"Text message," Tony answered and held up his phone. "'He's at my place. Come get him' and then there's a .gif of a kitten begging."

"But if you break the device, the kitten will not be freed because it's not real," Thor added. Phil shot Loki a dirty look.

"I don't want to leave. I don't have to. I was authorized 14 days off for my honeymoon. This is how I'm spending it."

"At least turn off the porn," Pepper spoke with disdain.

"No," Coulson refused and crossed his arms, not caring that he sounded like a child. These people had already seen him at his absolute worst.

"What would be our incentive?" Loki asked.

"Pepper and I will make out," Natasha suggested.

"This is pleasing to me," Loki agreed and turned to Phil.

"Does nothing for me," he said with a shrug. Unwilling marks often became more willing after watching Natasha make out with a woman. Phil had become immune to it. Natasha looked at Pepper who nodded.

"Fine, then Tony will make out with Thor," Natasha suggested.

"What?" Tony and Thor asked.

"No, absolutely not," Tony argued.

"Well, I suppose if you won't kiss Thor, I won't need to kiss Natasha," Pepper spoke. Tony seemed to reconsider his thoughts. "You're right; it's for the good of the team."

"Okay," Phil agreed and turned around. Pepper and Natasha went first. It was a full-on lip lock where they held onto one another and just when it looked like Tony's trousers were going to tear, they broke away.

"Your turn," Pepper spoke and patted Tony on the shoulder.

"Right," Tony said, unsure. He walked closer to Thor and Loki chuckled. Thor bent down to meet Tony's lips and it was an awkward kiss. Both men seemed unsure how much effort to put into it or where lips should go. Just as they started to find a rhythm, Phil hit the Power button on the remote and the two men pulled apart.

"I want to leave now," Pepper said and dragged Tony away. He winked at the rest of them. The other four began to follow after them.

"But I'm not coming with you," Phil spoke.

"Son of Coul, my brother-" he started and gave Loki a sad look. "He's not to be trusted."

"And you don't think I'm well aware of that?" Phil asked although he was touched that Thor was still affected over nineteen months later. "I like it here for now."

"I don't have a say in this?" Loki asked.

"Not really. I have a variety of weapons at my disposal other than the Avengers. For example, the IRS. Ever heard of an audit? It's not pretty. On the other hand, if you were to let me stay with you, we might be able to be a tiny bit more lenient about your surveillance," Phil spoke, not mentioning how Nick Fury lived just below the penthouse anyway. "I'll also pay my fair share."

Everyone looked at Loki.

"Fine, but this is temporary, I assure you," Loki agreed.

Phil started to take residence in one of the extra bedrooms. He was setting up his Captain America collection when Clint walked in. Loki seemed not to have a problem with visitors. However, Phil knew Clint well enough to know when something was different.

"What happened?" he asked. Clint shut the door behind him and sat down on the couch, just like it was Phil's office.

"I haven't told anyone else."

Phil stopped what he was doing and sat on the bed across from Clint. The Avenger had bags under his eyes and his blond hair stuck out in all directions.

"Two days ago, Jessica came to see me. She's- she's pregnant," Clint admitted. Phil was stunned for a moment. He knew this would happen someday but he wouldn't have guessed Clint would be the first to have a kid even with getting married.

"That's- that's good, right?" Phil asked. Jessica had always been responsible, except when it came to Clint, and Vange seemed nice.

"I guess, but-" Clint trailed off and Phil knew they were getting somewhere. "It wasn't like my dad was father of the year..."

"Have I ever seen you with an alcohol problem? Or strike a woman?" Phil asked. "Let me rephrase that...strike a woman without me telling you to-"

"No," he admitted.

"You're not your dad, Clint. Yeah, you fuck up sometimes but-" Phil started and with a shrug, added, "You usually mean well."

Clint took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Fuck, I'm...I'm going to be a dad," Clint spoke and started to laugh. Phil smiled at him.


	2. The One with the Birth

The One with the Birth

Even though it had been five months since she'd told him, sometimes, it was still hard to believe that Clint Barton was going to be a father. However, here he was in Jessica's hospital room at Charles Xavier's school with her girlfriend. He hated feeling like the third wheel when it was his son, too.

"Come on, you can do this," Vange spoke in a soft voice and stroked Jessica's arm. "For Jordy."

"Jordy? Who's Jordy?"

"Our son," Jessica answered before gritting her way through another contraction.

"No, I thought we agreed on Jamie," Clint complained.

"Well, Jamie was the name of Vange's first girlfriend, so we went back to Jordy," Jessica explained.

"Jordy Barton? Jordy Drew? It doesn't sound right," Clint complained.

"Actually, we were thinking of Jordy Drew-Whedon," Vange explained, "Her name and my last name, simpler."

"So have you planned his whole future without me then?" Clint asked, not hiding his annoyance.

"We can't help it if you're never around," Vange spoke.

"Stop it, both of you! I want you out!" Jessica spoke, "Both of you."

Clint and Vange were both about to complain when Hank gave them both a glare with his blue eyes. It was probably best not to upset the doctor covered in blue fur.

"Jessica wants some space for now. You have time," he said, leading them to the door. "Get over yourselves before you come back."

"This is your fault," Clint complained.

"My fault?" Vange asked. "You're the one threatened by me."

"Threatened by you? Of course, I'm threatened by you. I thought my marriage was fine until you came along. You were there through all of the pregnancy. She didn't even tell me until the second trimester and you're right, I am gone a lot so you'll have him most of the time and now he'll even have your name. He's my son and it feels almost like you're taking him from me."

Clint couldn't remember the last time he had said that much at one time. He felt his pulse pounding and he wasn't thinking nearly as clearly.

"Are you trying to anger me? Because you won't like it," Vange spat.

"I've always wanted to see a dragon in real life. Now do you stay your size or is it like when Bruce does it?" Clint asked and she fumed. He was so preoccupied with arguing with her that he hadn't heard the loud footsteps and large orange frame until it was too late. Ben Grimm had picked both of them up, taking them to an empty room.

"This is supposed to be a school! Children are trying to study and you're yelling for everyone to hear! Stop it," Ben chastised. He went to leave but broke the door knob. "Oops."

"Oops?" Clint and Vange asked at the same time. "No!"

"We're locked in here while she's having my baby?" Vange asked.

"Our baby," Clint corrected and realized he said "our". His dark blue eyes met her light blue ones.

"This is great," Ben spoke.

"Great?" Vange asked.

"This baby is so loved that you're fighting over who can love it more especially for being a mutant baby. Think of all the kids Charles has taken in that their parents kicked out. Life's no picnic for me either, but he has three parents already that love him so much but don't mind me, continue fighting," Ben spoke.

Clint was starting to feel very foolish and he thought Vange might be feeling the same way.

"Where are they?" Jessica complained to Hank. He carefully sent off a couple of text messages.

"What if they don't make it?" she asked in hysterics and touching her belly.

"They will be here. Give me one moment," he said with a smile and opened the door. He looked in the hall and spotted someone to help.

"Jean!" he called out and she came closer. "We appear to have lost our lawyer and an Avenger in the mansion. Jessica's quite anxious so could you find them?"

"Of course," Jean agreed.

"Baby Coming NOW!" Clint read off his phone as Vange looked at her phone, too. If their stupid fight caused them to miss the birth, he'd never forgive himself.

"Ben, I know it's Charles' place and all, but couldn't you break the door? Make a hole? Something?" Clint asked.

"I second that," Vange agreed.

"Fine, clobbering time," he agreed and backed up to run for the door. Just as he readied himself, it opened to reveal Jean Grey.

"Ah, here you are," she said with a smile and they ran out.

Twenty minutes later, Jessica clutched the new baby with Clint and Vange at her side. Clint was speechless as his son briefly grasped his finger.

"He still needs a name," Jessica whispered.

"How about Ben?" Clint suggested and looked at Vange who smiled.

"I like it," Jessica agreed. Then, there was a knock at the door. Hank peeked in and asked, "There's a couple of visitors. You want me to send them or tell them to leave?"

"It's Phil and Natasha, isn't it?" Jessica whispered.

"Probably," Clint agreed.

"It's okay," Jessica called out and Hank opened the door all the way for Phil and Natasha to walk in. Clint couldn't remember ever seeing Natasha around babies. If someone bought one to SHIELD, she tended to avoid them at all costs. On the other hand, Phil loved babies. It all seemed so natural to him.

"Aww, he looks a lot like you. So, what's the name?" Phil asked.

"Ben," Clint spoke and Phil nodded. Jessica held him out for Phil to take and he supported the head without being told.

"Now, make sure you take after your mommies. They don't cause me any grief or paperwork like your daddy does," Phil spoke and Jessica and Vange laughed. Clint shot him a look.

"Natasha, would you like to hold him?" Phil asked. Her expression was one of horror, like being told she had to redo forms. "Or not."

He gave him to Clint who forgot for a moment that anyone else was around as Ben yawned. Everything his son did was fascinating.


	3. The One where Everyone Turns 50

The One where Everyone Turns 50

"Where is Clint?"

"He traded missions with me. I mentioned how I've never been to one of Phil's parties before so he suggested it," Steve explained, before plunking along on the guitar he'd bought up from his floor to Tony's penthouse where the party was being held. "He left with Sam two days ago."

Steve wasn't big on parties so he was able to convince Tony to just have a dinner party for his birthday three days before. He looked down at the acoustic instrument and tried to remember the placement of the chords.

"I didn't know you played," Bruce spoke.

"Clint's been teaching me. You should hear him play piano. He's really swell," Steve said with a smile. Sam had promised to show him some moves as well.

Tony laughed at Steve's word usage before turning it into a cough. Then, he caught sight of another party guest and made his way into the kitchen.

"No talking to Parker tonight, Stark. I mean it. I don't like your influence on him," Phil said without pausing in his duties. He was making up more party platters so they looked perfect although Tony wasn't sure why he bothered. The adults just wanted booze and the teenagers didn't seem to care what they were eating.

"Who do you think I'm hiding from here?" Tony asked before opening a beer. "I make one suit for the kid and he thinks we're best bros or something."

"Tell me about it. Blake opened his big mouth about the party tonight right in front of him. Now, I have five teenagers at my 50th birthday party," Phil complained. Tony took a large gulp and narrowed his eyes.

"Is that why May isn't here?" Tony asked.

"We aren't exclusive, just whenever our schedules permit-"

"So, you're more like fuck buddies?" Tony asked which caused Phil to give him a death glare.

"Are we having a moment?" he asked and Phil groaned. "So, 50...we should have bought the Over the Hill decorations."

"And you're just nine years away yourself, Tony," Phil reminded him and Tony frowned. "Here, make yourself useful."

He stuck a platter into Tony's right hand and gestured to the door.

Pepper saw Tony relegated to snack duty and smiled. Then, she spied Natasha and hurried over to her.

"I'm not staying. Phil is texting me when it's time for presents. Otherwise, I'll be downstairs, studying," Natasha spoke, stealing a sandwich.

"I just have to talk to someone and I didn't want to bug Phil about it," Pepper spoke. Natasha nodded. "Follow me."

Pepper followed her onto her floor which was neat and tidy and revealed nothing personal about the occupant.

"You've never been here before," Natasha stated.

"No, we tried to design all the floors with their occupant in mind but then, everyone has different finishing touches," Pepper said, noticing Natasha turning papers over so Pepper couldn't read them.

"So, what is it?" Natasha asked.

"It's something that Tony doesn't know about," Pepper started.

"You're not pregnant, are you?" Natasha asked.

"No, no, oh God no. Can you even picture that? Tony couldn't handle that at all," Pepper said, shaking her head.

"Barton's made me hold the baby twice. I keep thinking that I'll drop it. I don't want to be the one to break his kid," Natasha complained.

"I think it's something you have to practice at with experience," Pepper spoke.

"Really?" Natasha asked.

"I don't know. It's what they say," Pepper said with a shrug. "Clint doesn't seem too bad at it now though. No, my parents died a few years ago. I went through everything important, made arrangements but it wasn't until now that I went through the rest of it and I found adoption papers...for me."

"No idea?" Natasha asked.

"None. I was floored. I thought I was their kid. I still am. They raised me but..." Pepper paused before continuing, "I can't help wondering where I really came from."

"You know Stark Industries could easily do this?" Natasha asked.

"And then it would become a project and a thing and Tony wouldn't rest until I had met every third-cousin. I don't want that," Pepper explained and Natasha nodded.

"SHIELD has one of the largest DNA databases in the world. I could look for you without letting anyone else know," Natasha offered. It was what Pepper was hoping for.

"I'm not ready yet, but thank you," she said before Natasha's phone chirped.

"Present time," Natasha spoke without even checking it and they headed upstairs in time to see the beginning of a possible incident.

"Peter, I notice you and your friends are not having the beer. We must be festive. I will bring you some!" said Thor. The five teenagers cheered before Maria Hill grabbed the man's arm.

"They aren't allowed to have beer," she told him.

"I don't understand. Is it an allergy? A special brew?" Thor asked.

"We have laws against teenagers drinking," Maria spoke.

"Laws? Nonsense, I started drinking as a child," Thor spoke and undid her grasp.

"Phil, time for presents!" Bruce screamed before there could be an incident. Phil was made to sit down on the couch and Natasha cringed as Tony produced a black birthday hat to wear. Phil mouthed something that was definitely a threat. The first few presents were the usual books and gift certificates. Then...

"New Springsteen! Thanks, Pepper, I hadn't picked this one up yet!" Phil yelled and she smiled.

"I can't wait for tomorrow," Pepper whispered to Natasha before Tony could be in earshot. However, Peter Parker got to them first. Natasha slipped away, closer to Steve.

"Pepper Potts! I've always wanted to meet you. Tony's right hand man, so to speak. Principal Coulson sure liked your gift," Peter spoke. "Did you two go out?"

Pepper was going to settle for an eye roll but she started laughing instead. The fact that there was some truth to that question would never be admitted to a high school student.

"What?" Peter asked.

"You're just...very, very young," she said and started laughing again before composing herself again. "Excuse me."

Tony took her hand but she was afraid that Peter would still follow them so steered them to sit beside Phil. He gave her a look as he took a gift bag off the floor.

"Barton," he read off the tag even though Pepper could see that it said Clint. He reached inside and pulled out a record that looked brand new, Frampton Comes Alive!

"Wow," he spoke and Pepper had only seen him this speechless once before. She put a hand on Phil's knee, enjoying the expression on Peter's face.

"Uh...I can't believe he remembered. It was last summer, at least. I mentioned how my first concert had been one of the concerts recorded for this. I can't believe he remembered," Phil rambled.

"Those aren't cheap either," Tony pointed out. "It's a mint condition original."

"Can you really be that surprised? Remember when he fell in love with Drew and bought her that ridiculous crystal spider?" Sitwell asked and the whole room grew quiet.

"What?" Phil asked.

"Oh," Sitwell said and seemed to realize the entire room was looking between him and Phil. "You mean you didn't know?"

"What was I supposed to know?" Phil asked even though Pepper could tell the truth was dawning on him.

"Well, I mean...I thought you knew...you know everything and everyone else knew. Barton's been in love with you since you went through training together," Sitwell explained and Pepper winced. There were winces and groans throughout the room except for Peter asking, "Hawkeye's gay? Wait, that can't be right."

"And everyone knew," Phil spoke, already knowing the answer. "Everyone but me?"

"Even Fury knew about it," Sitwell confirmed before being grabbed by Maria.

"Agent Sitwell, I think we should have a talk in the kitchen," Maria said as they disappeared from sight. Embarrassed junior agents began gathering up their coats and belongings to leave. Natasha hurried to Phil and Steve followed.

"I didn't know," Steve assured everyone. The girl in Peter's group turned to them and suggested they should leave.

"I...I think I want some air," Phil announced and walked onto the landing platform. Natasha walked after him.

Natasha glanced behind but no one had followed them.

"Phil," Natasha spoke and he turned around.

"Since training?" Phil asked.

"That's what they say. I hadn't joined yet," Natasha spoke.

"Well, of course you hadn't, that was TEN years ago and he never said anything," Phil stated, crossing his arms again.

"Clint never says anything, you know that," Natasha spoke. Phil walked over to the railing and grabbed it. "Do you love him?"

"Yes, I love both of you. The question is, Am I IN love with him?" Phil asked, "And that's a question I've never considered."

Phil rubbed his face with his hands.

"Why did it have to be now?"

"Because this is when he gave you the record and Sitwell couldn't keep his mouth shut?" Natasha suggested, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

"That's true. If he didn't tell me himself, does it even count? Maybe I should just pretend none of it happened," Phil spoke, thinking aloud.

"Is that what you really want?" she asked. "I have to join him on the mission in six hours."

"I'm aware," Phil spat. He took a deep breath and let it go. "Don't say anything to him. If he doesn't want to act on it, I won't either."

She waited for a nod.

"Okay," she agreed.

"Isn't Principal Coulson like way older than Hawkeye?" Peter was heard asking as the teenagers left. Tony rolled his eyes. Pepper laughed.

"Ten years apart really isn't that much," she commented. Tony shrugged.

"He's a fifteen year old. Everything is old to him," he said.

"Boy, Sitwell really did it this time, he would have been better off as a mime," Steve sang, strumming the guitar. Everyone looked at him. "No? Not a moment for singing?"

"After the wedding and all, I really hoped this would go better especially with turning fifty and everything," said Bruce.

"I loved turning fifty. We went on a drinking tour of all nine realms. Then, for Loki's birthday, we did the same but we interfered too much with mortals. Loki and I were never sure which of us fathered Harald so father banned us from Midgard for a millennium," Thor explained. Pepper couldn't help gasping.

"Harald Hardrada?" she asked and Thor nodded.

"And for those of us who weren't art history majors?" Tony asked. Sometimes, it was so frustrating to be surrounded by brilliant scientists who knew very little outside their field and hobbies.

"Double majored," Pepper corrected. "1015 AD was when Norway banned Viking Berserkers because the last two years had been especially bad..."

"We were such imps in our younger days," Thor said with a shrug.

"And it was the year that Harald Hardrada was born. Harald is considered one of the greatest kings of Norway and the last Viking king. King Harald 'distinguished himself above all other men by wisdom and resources of mind; whether he had to take a resolution suddenly for himself and others, or after long deliberation. He was, also, above all men, bold, brave, and lucky, until his dying day and bravery is half victory'. When he was young, the Byzantine Emperor employed him as a personal guard and when Harald died, he had invaded England. Even though he was killed, his invasion was so successful that Norway beat England a few weeks later which changed England forever," Pepper explained and everyone else in the room stared at Thor.

"What were his physical characteristics?" Bruce asked.

"Extremely tall, extremely muscled and blond," Pepper spoke.

"I think you can rule out Loki," Tony told them.

"If only we could all have that excitement when turning fifty," Bruce joked.

"But not too much excitement for you, Bruce," Tony remarked. "You know you're next."

"I should have turned fifty back in 1973," Steve spoke and shook his head. "I can't even imagine it now."

"I liked turning a thousand. Father allowed us to travel to Midgard again but we were more mindful this time," Thor explained.

"Next to that, fifty doesn't seem so bad," Steve spoke and everyone laughed.

"Still, you can't help wondering what we'll be like then," Bruce said. "We might not even all still be around." Pepper frowned and others groaned. "Not just that, but moving on, doing other projects. This wasn't supposed to be a lifetime gig."

They all drank and looked thoughtful.

**November 22, 2019**

"What about tonight? Any plans for tonight?" Bruce asked.

"No, it should be free and clear; a good night to catch up on Dancing with the Stars," Phil spoke, gathering up his papers to leave. He had no appointments or classes for the rest of the day.

"Oh...right," said Bruce and left as Peter walked in.

"Professor Coulson, is everything right with Professor Banner? He looked like somebody forgot his birthday," Peter said.

"No..." Phil started because Bruce's birthday wasn't until the 22nd. Then, he noticed the date on his watch.

Shit. Between the newlyweds and the prophecy and Peggy, they had forgotten Bruce's birthday. He was going to have to come up with something really good.

"Peter, whatever it is, you'll have to tell me on the way to the car," he said and started for the door.

**May 10, 2023**

"Welcome to the greatest birthday party in the history of birthday parties...Mine!" Tony told the crowd in his California home. He'd wanted to rebuild the mansion in Malibu but Pepper put her foot down about that and he had more than himself to think about. Instead, this overlooked his private lake. The crowd chuckled and cheered. He smiled and made his way through the crowd.

"Is that a new Iron Man technology?" Peter Parker asked while pointing at Tony's wrists. He had to look to remember what he was talking about. He smirked at the childish bracelets.

"No, birthday presents from the girls, they can be quite persuasive for all being three and under. You'll learn one day," he said with a wink.

**January 7, 2024**

"Wake up!" Kate Bishop screamed in Clint's ear. He refused to open his eyes.

"It's my birthday, I'm sleeping in," Clint argued.

"It's the middle of the afternoon and you're on the couch so that doesn't count," Kate retorted back.

"Yes, it does," Clint argued back.

"If you don't get up, I'm going to give you your birthday spankings and I've heard you get fifty of them," Kate told him. He felt Lucky licking his arm.

"Who told you that? Your dad?" Clint asked.

"No, Tony did."

"I'm going to kill him," Clint mumbled.

"I think Pepper might have a problem with that," Kate pointed out.

"But she'll understand," Clint argued.

"Get up now!" yelled a small three year-old's voice and he felt the elastic on his waistband being stretched. It snapped back into place with an annoying slap and he opened his eyes.

"Fine, I'm up," he declared and sat up.

"Nice work, Emmy," Kate complimented and held out her hand for a high five. "I didn't even have to get out my bow or cello."

**November 29, 2034**

Natasha pulled up the rear in the semi-darkness. Everyone else on the team was ahead. Her ankle was still hurting her from the stupid fall moments before. She didn't think of herself as old but it seemed her body had other ideas. Natasha was also being followed by a redheaded man with facial hair to match. He wasn't even trying for her not to see him. Three more guards appeared. She rolled despite her ankle and shot them in quick succession but something wasn't right.

"Look out!" called a male voice and she listened for the fourth one's location. It was too late as she felt the bullet hit her chest. She got another shot off and fell back. Someone was running to her and she became unconscious. Her last thought was that this time would be the end.

The next thing she was aware of was being kissed. If she wasn't so confused, it would have been better.

"What?" she started before taking in her surroundings, the dead guards and the man helping her to sit up. Then, she knew what had happened. "You didn't have to do that."

"Leave you to die? Yes, I know, but I didn't want to this time," he said. His blue eyes didn't quite meet her own.

"Was this because of Kazan?" Natasha asked.

"You know it is. Think of it as a birthday present," he said. "Can you stand?"

"Yeah," she confirmed and held out a hand for him to help her up. "Nice disguise, I like the red."

She smiled as she studied her new shirt.

"Didn't fool you," he said.

"I know that kiss anywhere," Natasha said, allowing herself a couple of seconds to touch the rare beard. "Now, are you going to help me stop your daughter from destroying the planet?"

"Or getting herself killed," he spoke, "but come on."

**July 4, 2040**

Steve had thought a pool party might be more pleasant than the usual night-time affair and maybe everyone would leave before it became too late. He soon found out this was naive. Steve knew for a fact that he had not invited Loki but he and his brother were off to one side, arguing. Loki was more melancholy and angry in the last couple of years than he had been in decades. He was almost worried for him.

Children ran everywhere. He couldn't even remember who belonged to whom. Some of them chased Cosmo.

Steve pulled out a beer from one of the ice chests, popped it open and walked to the kitchen. It wouldn't do any good but he liked having something in his hand.

"You don't look very happy for being the birthday boy," said a female voice. He almost jumped before chastising himself on not hearing her walk in. Elli Romanoff stood in the kitchen with a mixed drink. There was no point in reminding her that she wasn't 21 yet.

Steve shrugged and she came closer.

"And I can't get you drunk because that's impossible so you might as well talk now," said Elli. He shook his head but Elli was the persistent sort. "Or I have Thor throw you into the pool."

Steve tried not to smile.

"He'd have to catch me first," he said.

"And of course, that won't happen," she said in a whisper and a smile of her own. Unlike Natasha, Elli excelled at talking. He felt his defenses being lowered. "Come on, didn't get the present that you wanted? Wanted to be somewhere else?"

Steve cringed but she seemed to know the truth.

"Or is it someone who's not here?" she asked and her blue eyes were warm.

"Today, I turned fifty. Next year will be the hundredth anniversary of my becoming this and the very beginnings of SHIELD. I'm still here and so many are not and it's all the same. New people come in, we defeat the villains and new villains come along. People die and villains die and it never changes," Steve complained. "Look at Sylene. Every year, she has a new plan to mess things up."

"Don't be so hard on her. She had a hard childhood. With different circumstances, she could have been me and I could have been her. It's not easy being a child of Earth and Asgard and Jotunheim and she didn't have her dad around to help her," Elli spoke.

"No, no. We all have hard childhoods. We don't all become villains over it," Steve spoke, "and don't you dare compare yourself with her. I know you. I've fought with you. You're a good person, like your mom was."

Elli downed the rest of her drink.

"You're right. I have fought with you. I know this job. I may be young but I know what's at stake. I know the sacrifice this responsibility demands. It's not easy. It's not easy when they die in your arms and it's not easy when those you save start shooting at you because one man's villain is another man's hero but it has to be done," she said. "I miss them, too, but I'm not about to disgrace their memory by giving up and you shouldn't either." She was right. He was having a pity party.

"And what do you recommend?" he asked. She leaned up although her height was enough to tower over most men. With the short heels, they were about the same height.

"You should get laid," she whispered and he had to laugh. Then, with a smirk, she added, "I wasn't offering but how about Carol?"

"Ms. Marvel? I don't know," he said and shook his head.

"Come on, I'm not going to let you stay here and not try talking to her," Elli spoke and took his hand. They stepped outside and Cosmo bounded for them. Steve never trusted that dog. He was about to take a different path to avoid him when Elli touched the ground. Snow sprung up and the dog stopped, confused. Elli laughed and kept going.

"That's new," Steve commented.

"Just something from my dad," she said and before he could think about that, pulled him in another direction. "There she is, go."

He took a breath and approached the blonde woman.

**July 8, 2014**

Phil wheeled a piece of luggage with his presents into the main room. Loki was still up, reading. It looked like Hamlet. He was tempted to not acknowledge him. He hadn't invited him to either event. However, he had to know.

"When you possessed Barton, were you able to feel what he felt about me?" Phil asked. Loki looked up from his book.

"Why should I have bothered with mortal feelings when I had bigger plans?" he asked and Phil nodded. It made sense. He, Steve and Loki were their own oblivious group. Phil stifled the urge to sigh and continued to his room.

"So you left to find a better reason than the one we were living for

And it's not that nursery mouth that I came back for

It's not the way you're stretched out on the floor

'Cause I've broken all your windows and I've rammed through all your doors

And who am I to ask you to lick my sores?

And you should know that's true," sang Bruce Springsteen on the stage. It should have been the highlight of Phil's year so why was he so miserable?

"Uh, Phil..." Pepper started, speaking right in his ear so they could hear over the music.

"Yeah?" Phil asked.

"Tony might show up. Steve cracked and told him about it so Tony figured out that last night was for work and this was for friends," Pepper explained and he nodded. He knew Tony would find out eventually.

"Phil, are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said without thinking before admitting. "No. No, I'm not. I keep thinking like maybe I've done something colossally stupid."

Pepper took his hand.

"Go get him. Be there when he comes back."

Phil hesitated. He watched the figures on the stage, but it was impossible to really enjoy it; not like Steve who stood entranced to one side or Bruce with a huge smile on his face. Just yesterday, he was marveling over Steve Rogers at his own birthday party but now everything had changed. Was that why Clint had traded with Steve? Just so Steve could go?

"You're right," Phil agreed and hurried out of the arena. Not long after that, he was on the Helicarrier, waiting for their helicopter. It came down in the darkness, random field agents came out. Clint and Natasha were last. Phil was about to walk to them when he realized what they were doing.

They were kissing.


	4. The One Where Clint Finds Out

The One where Clint Finds Out

September 3, 2014

"Ever plan on telling him? It's been almost two months now," Pepper spoke before sipping her coffee in the little shop.

"How do I know he even wanted me to find out? He's been divorced less than a year," Phil spoke.

He drank his coffee, too. It was nice to get away from everyone sometimes.

"Besides, how long did you spend pining away for Tony?" Phil pointed out.

"True," Pepper agreed, but he didn't like that look. She was plotting something.

"Pepper, this isn't a good time," Natasha spoke into the phone as Clint kissed his way up one arm.

"I know I shouldn't be doing this but Phil does have feelings after all. He just doesn't want to ruin anything," Pepper spoke. Natasha was skilled at hiding her feelings so Clint wouldn't be able to read what she was thinking. He wore his resting look. Natasha had wondered whether Phil had changed his mind. His behavior did seem a bit preoccupied.

"Oh, I'll come right over," Natasha spoke and Clint pulled away.

"What is it?" he asked. Natasha didn't even need to think about her answer.

"Girl stuff," she spoke. It worked like a charm every time.

Phil was reading when there was a knock at the door. He was surprised to see Natasha.

"You don't like coming to my place," he pointed out.

"But he's not here right now," Natasha spoke, walking in. "Why do you stay?"

"It's nice and quiet," Phil answered and she walked across to the open window.

"There's a naked man in the building across from us, interesting," Natasha stated.

"It has other perks," Phil agreed.

"I wish you had told me," Natasha spoke and he knew she didn't mean the naked guy.

"Doesn't matter now," he said with a shrug.

"It does to me. The problem is Clint. If I dump him, you'll be the rebound relationship which never works. If he finds out, then he won't want to dump me because he's too nice," Natasha spoke and he nodded.

"Is there a third option there?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, leaned over and kissed him. He pulled away from instinct. She was a friend. However, he would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about it. There was a moment of indecision and then, he kissed her.

"Threesome? Really?" Clint asked as they approached the hotel room.

"Might be fun," Natasha spoke, "if it's someone we already know."

"Except I don't want to do most of the people we know," he reminded her.

She smirked. Natasha was always scariest when she smirked. It was that moment when she knew she had you. After Natasha inserted the keycard and pulled open the door, Clint followed Natasha inside to see Phil sitting on the couch.

Phil? Did that mean he knew? Did he feel the same way? Were they just too chicken shit to tell the other one?

Clint felt Natasha's blue eyes on him. She was waiting for his next move and for once in his life; he wasn't sure what that should be. With a roll of those same eyes, she moved to the couch and put her arm around Phil. They'd always been close but this was different. Tonight, it was all going to change.

She began kissing Phil and Clint sat beside them, watching. Part of him was jealous and part of him was turned on. He went to go for her earlobe but she broke from the kiss then and he got her cheek instead. Natasha threw off her heels and changed her position so that she was in Clint's lap with her legs across Phil's lap. It was his turn. He leaned towards Phil who met him halfway. It wasn't quite how he had imagined it. Phil was timid yet inviting; such a contrast to his professional self. He was letting Clint and Natasha lead. Clint started to relax.

"They're really close friends," Steve commented about Phil, Natasha and Clint on the couch, entwined with each other.

"Yes, _friends_," Tony spoke.

"It's nice. They seem happy," Bruce commented. "Now, if we could just hide Steve's guitar."

"I'm getting better," Steve complained.

"Not the singing part," Bruce pointed out.

Phil was reading the latest Avengers comic on the couch. It was amusing how wrong they were about things, like Phil's hair was a lot lighter than real life. Well, there had been the blond phase to look like Steve but that was the 80s. Everyone had bad hair then. On one hand, he was extremely pleased to be included in the comics but on the other hand, it seemed like a security breach. His best guess was Tony. Natasha was taking a shower and Clint was writing something on his laptop.

"Why won't it print?" he asked.

"It doesn't usually print here. I think Loki did something," Phil explained. Clint glared at the screen. "You want me to look at it? Or Tasha? Tasha's the best at that sort of thing."

"No, no, that's fine. I'll print it later," Clint insisted. Phil assumed he was trying to print out photos of Ben so the reaction was strange. He laid the comic on the coffee table and went over to him.

"No!" Clint yelled as Phil saw that it was a Word document with two columns. One with his name and the other had Natasha on it. Clint went to shut the laptop but Phil spun the machine before he could do it.

"Tasha! Tasha, come out here!" Phil called out. True to form, Tasha was in a bathrobe and armed with a gun in five seconds.

"What is it?" she asked.

"No, you have to read what Barton wrote," he said and noticed how Clint cringed at the surname usage.

"This is us. This is a pro and con list for Phil and I," she said with a glare at Clint.

"I can explain." Clint spoke, "I'm tired of having to share everything. It's bad enough I have to share my son. I'm tired of sharing you, too."

"So, you wrote up a list like you were debating vacation plans? We're people," Phil complained.

"I know that," Clint argued.

"No, you don't," Phil spoke. The situation was almost as unbelievable as what he was about to do next. "I think you should leave."

"If this Voldemort fellow has come back, how is an eleven year old supposed to defeat him?" Steve asked, looking up from his paperback at Pepper. "I mean, it's not like he's an Asgardian or something? It's regular fictional magic?"

"Right, it- um, it actually takes seven books for him to defeat Voldemort and he's nearly 18 by then," Pepper told him. His mouth gaped open.

"There are more of these. Are they short like this one?" he asked.

"Well, no, they get longer and longer," Pepper explained. He set the book down and leaned back on the couch in their common floor.

"I'm not sure if I want to pursue this. There was a book I really liked about a little woodland creature on an adventure by an English writer. Babbit or bobbit or-"

"Hobbit," she corrected and almost looked like she was smirking. "I think Tolkien may have written a few more after that."

"Oh good," he said but wondered why she was smiling like that.

Natasha hated the waiting. Any minute now, the terrorists would make their move. Naturally, they had picked what must have been one of the most rundown parts of Prague. She was poised on a rickety roof. Phil was on a similar roof three buildings down while Clint was on an old water tower and Steve was around somewhere along with extra soldiers. Then, the shooting started.

She wasn't sure which side started it. The sound of how the gun fired should have been a giveaway but they were also hitting the ruined buildings and they were giving way. The noise was tremendous and she started running before the roof collapsed under her feet. Her balance was thrown off by the decreasing weight. She hesitated for a second to adjust and it became too late.

After recovering from the shock of the fall, she checked for major injuries. Finding none, she tried to crawl to her feet. Her face was bleeding and her wrist was sprained. However, she could still shoot her gun and defend herself. Natasha started crawling out of the wreckage. Then, there was a blue gloved hand helping her out.

"Are you hurt?" he asked.

"No, where's Barton and Coulson?" she questioned.

"Coulson's roof collapsed, too. He went after him. Come on, the terrorists are getting away," Steve spoke and they started to run. Natasha almost looked behind. She knew Clint would get him. She just didn't know whether he'd be as lucky as she was.

Phil had to be okay. She couldn't lose him a second time. Natasha steeled herself and refocused on the mission at hand. She couldn't appear weak. All this time and that training had stuck with her, refusing to leave. She couldn't appear weak.

"Again? This is your fifth tardy this week," Maria Hill complained. Peter smiled and shrugged his shoulders. She noticed that he was avoiding looking at her face.

"I can't help it if villains always seem to attack me before school," he said. She resisted the urge to sigh.

"Next time, just call us and get to class," she said.

"But-"

"No, you have detention all next week," she spoke.

"Is that detention or 'detention'?" he asked, using air quotes.

"Detention, now leave," she spat. Almost as soon as Peter left, then their substitute science teacher came in. Bruce's shirt was a bit singed.

"I may have had a little accident in the classroom," Bruce spoke which was followed by the fire alarm. She wished she had alcohol.

"Go!" she commanded and shook her head. "I don't know how Coulson does it. He better be back soon."


	5. The One with the Third Nipple

The One with the Third Nipple

December 12, 2014

"Promise me that you'll say you saved him," Clint whispered because Loki was there.

"Why?" Steve asked.

"Because otherwise, it might make things...complicated," Clint spoke. "He doesn't need complicated right now."

Steve didn't completely understand but he didn't seem to understand a lot when it came to Barton, Coulson or Romanov.

"Fine," he agreed. Then, the door opened again and Tony, Pepper and Thor walked in.

"Hurray, everyone's here," Loki snarked. Steve could tell it hurt Thor that his brother didn't treat him as such.

"I'm not sure how restful this is for him," Pepper spoke with concern.

"We shall be quiet. I just want confirmation that son of Coul is okay," Thor spoke.

"How sweet," Loki spat.

"Like you even have a heart," Steve told him.

"Don't," Thor spoke.

"Some of us are trying to sleep," Phil complained and everyone turned to see him just outside his bedroom. He was leaning on a crutch with his shoulder in a sling and his eyes narrowed more than usual. Steve had heard there was a skull fracture involved.

"Sorry," Steve apologized.

"Steve was the one who pulled you out," Clint spoke.

"Really? I don't remember much after falling," Phil explained. "Thank you."

"Are you certain that's how it happened, Barton?" asked Loki with a grin. He had heard them anyway.

"Yes," Clint confirmed.

"I think that you're lying because you still have feelings for him and you know he still has feelings for you. Oh, mortals and your...problems," Loki spoke, smirking.

"What?" Phil asked.

"He's telling the truth," Natasha spoke. "Steve helped me out. He told me that Clint was getting you."

"You did that for me?" Phil asked and Clint shrugged. "You could have gotten yourself killed."

He limped along on his crutch in Clint's direction until Clint started walking towards him. Phil let go of the crutch and grabbed Clint's shoulder.

"That was incredibly, incredibly stupid," he chastised Clint. "Thank you."

Then, he kissed him.

"Aww," Pepper said and he saw her look at Natasha who looked a bit pleased as well.

"Success, now everyone can leave," Loki said.

"Someday, we'll find out a secret about you," Tony threatened.

"None exist," Loki spoke.

"Really?" Tony asked in his voice that Steve had learned meant that he took it as a challenge. This wouldn't end well. He made eye contact with Thor.

"Loki has a third nipple," Thor spoke.

"Thor!" Loki spat and was suddenly in front of him.

"It is true," Thor argued.

"I think we should leave," Pepper spoke and Natasha nodded. Steve agreed that it wasn't the best of ideas to provoke Loki. He saw Natasha kiss Phil on the cheek and whisper something to them. She didn't look back.

"This isn't over," Loki promised before shutting the door. Steve wondered what he was planning.

"No offense to Sitwell, but I hate not having you out there with us," Natasha complained a week later. She sat beside Phil who lay on the couch with propped cushions.

"I hate not being out there with you guys."

His face was full of thought. She decided to ask. It probably had to do with the Avengers or being back together with Clint.

"What is it?"

Phil seemed to consider his options.

"One year ago was my failed wedding. Somebody used a robot to get close to me and I still don't know who it was," Phil uttered. Months back, there had been claims of leads. She realized this was subterfuge.

"Nothing?"

"They had LMD technology and knew about Elizabeth so that narrows it down to a handful of SHIELD agents, past and current," Phil explained.

"Even I don't know about Elizabeth," Natasha pointed out. He was silent a moment.

"Elizabeth was a cellist. She played for the president and I asked her out. I really loved her but when I asked her to move with me to New York, she said things were too serious. I was busy with SHIELD so I lost track of her," Phil spoke. "She died about a year later."

Natasha was sure he was talking about events about a decade ago but it still sounded pretty raw to Phil. She put a hand on his uninjured leg.

Tony hated this time of year. He wasn't surprised at finding how much Steve loved it. Steve insisted on singing Christmas carols and putting up a tree. Thor had been intrigued and Coulson had joined in but the rest of them grumbled. However, right now, Steve was on his phone...again.

"Me, too. Goodnight," he said and hit the button.

"Who do you keep talking to?" Tony asked.

"Peggy," he answered. "It's so nice to have someone who understands me; someone from...before." Tony understood everything except Steve's girlfriend being really, really old. Tony hadn't talked much with Peggy. He'd just assumed she idolized his dad like everyone else.

"Steve, I'm going to show you one of the scariest things known to man," he spoke and took out the envelope.

"It's not a yellow telegram," Steve spoke with confusion. Tony shook his head and took out the invitation inside.

"This is a wedding invitation from Rhodey. He's getting married in two months. He addressed the invitation to myself and Pepper," Tony explained.

"How is that scary?" Steve asked.

"Because it's a wedding," Tony stated. Shouldn't it be obvious?

"Eventually, we all have to marry and have children for the good of the country and for God," Steve explained. Tony tried not to stare with his mouth open.

"No."

"You're practically married to Pepper. You should just make it legal already," Steve spoke.

"Pepper and I have an understanding. She understands that I hate it and never ever want to actually do it," Tony told him.

"Then, it shouldn't scare you," Steve spoke and left the room. Actually, it wasn't that at all. Rhodey used to be his best friend. Then, he got pulled into the Avengers Initiative and Rhodey was more and more involved with the military. Now, they hardly saw each other as it was. What if he got married and Tony never saw him again?

Phil was going to be happy when he was completely healed. As it was, he still had a cane so no walking very fast, much less running and swimming was wierd. It's also how he ended up babysitting Thor who wanted to see the Zoo.

"We can go anywhere but not the penguins. They scare me," Phil spoke. He wished sarcasm wasn't lost on Thor.

"What are those?" Thor asked.

"Polar bears. They're deadly. There's a placard to tell you more," Phil spoke, pointing.

"Can you ride them?" Thor asked.

"I don't know. I don't think so," Phil spoke, checking to see if that was on the sign. Then, there was screaming and laughter.

"Son of Coul, something has happened!" Thor exclaimed. Phil turned around to see that Thor was naked even though he had clothes a minute ago. He started to take off his coat and shirt to cover him.

"Any idea how this could have happened?" Phil asked.

"Loki," Thor answered. Phil understood being upset over the nipple thing but he would have preferred a less public retribution.

"I can't take you anywhere," Phil muttered as he helped Thor cover himself as they left.

"Ben, why don't you show everyone what you can do?" Clint asked in the common room of the tower.

"No," said the toddler, shaking his head. The blond locks were getting a little long but he'd never had a haircut before.

"But they'd love to see it," he argued.

"No."

Clint tried to think of something else.

"Look, there's Aunt Tasha!" he pointed out and Ben ran to her. Clint raised his arms in success. Everyone clapped and cheered which backfired. Ben began to cry and tears welled up in his blue eyes.

"I don't do crying," Natasha complained. Clint hurried over to him and picked him up.

"It's okay. Everyone is just so proud of you," Clint tried to explain. His son kept crying and he rubbed his back. "Maybe he needs a nap."

He carried him to the elevator. Jarvis put on Brahm's Lullaby and Clint resisted laughing.

"Shh," he told him. "They can be scary sometimes but they're pretty cool once you know them."

Ben was getting so big. Clint couldn't believe he would turn one year old next month.


	6. The One with James and Rae's Wedding

The One with James and Rae's Wedding

February 14, 2015

"Should I ask what you're doing?" Phil asked as Thor typed so earnestly on his laptop at his apartment. Phil was still getting used to the idea of Thor with a laptop.

"Steve has been showing me how to use it," Thor explained. Phil cringed. It was the blind leading the blind.

"Pepper would be a better choice," Phil suggested.

"I thought if I had a woman, then you wouldn't have to worry about me so often and the others say I have to 'move on' from Jane," Thor spoke. "Bruce explained about dating on here."

He pointed to prove his point.

"Online dating?" Phil clarified.

"No, you're not in a line. It's on the internet," Thor spoke and Phil felt a headache coming on. "I've already found someone to converse with."

"I need to get ready for the wedding," Phil spoke and headed for his bedroom. However, he didn't like the way that Loki was eyeing Thor's laptop.

After putting on a fresh suit and a fancier tie, Phil stepped out and his phone began to ring. He had a foreboding feeling especially with the way Loki was giggling.

Shit. It was Director Fury.

"Coulson here," he answered.

"Where's Loki?" Fury asked.

"About six feet in front of me," Phil answered.

"And who the Hell gave him a laptop or cellphone?" he asked.

Phil glared at Thor before questioning, "Did you give your brother your laptop?"

"He said it would only be a moment," Thor argued. Phil sighed.

"Thor." He replied before asking, "What did Loki do?"

"He let loose a virus on the internet that has hit every single government and crippled them for the time being, made easier by the fact that he used YOUR account to do it!" Fury screamed in his ear. It took all of Phil's reserve not to crack. Instead, he calmly turned to Loki.

"Why did you use my account?" Phil asked. Loki could have broken into anyone's email. Thor still used "PASSWORD" as his password.

"It was easier. You already have such high security clearances," Loki explained. Phil felt his brow furrow. "How bad is it exactly?"

"We're bringing in Romanov, Hill, Sage, Pryde, anyone who could possibly help to crack it, even Pepper. Right now, even the president is watching alternating clips of Nyan cat and something referred to as the world's most annoying cat," Fury explained.

Phil once again turned to Loki, asking, "What is it with you and cats?"

"They're evil and serve no purpose," Loki explained.

"You can't even ride them," Thor added.

"Exactly," Loki agreed. Normally, Phil would have basked in the amazement of Thor and Loki agreeing on something but he was still too pissed.

"Do I need to come in?" Phil asked.

"No, go to the wedding. Keep an eye on it but come in two hours earlier tomorrow. We have to redo all your security protocols," Fury answered.

"Yes, sir," he answered. "Has SWORD responded?"

"No, I'd rather not deal with her today," Fury replied.

"It's Loki, we might need all the help we can get," Phil stated.

"That's your territory," Fury spoke and hung up. Phil glared at the two Asgardians.

"You two, I can't leave you alone for five minutes! Even Barton's toddler has more self control," he chastised. Thor looked remorseful while Loki smiled. "And since I can't leave you alone, I'm having someone come while I'm at the wedding."

"Romanov?" Loki asked. Phil was pretty sure he shuddered on the inside.

"Why?"

"She bested me twice. She's the only one of you almost worthy of my company," Loki explained.

"No, I'm asking Bruce," Phil spoke and liked that fraction of a fraction that Loki paled more than usual.

"My lady has gone," Thor complained. "She says she has to work."

"Yeah, you can probably thank your brother for that," Phil told him and prepared to call Bruce. He should be able to work here just as well as headquarters since computer hacking was not his specialty.

Steve watched as Franklin Richards chased his sister along the pews of the church. He watched for them to be reprimanded but nothing came. Times were different. The last time he saw Valeria was at Phil's failed wedding when she was still just an infant. They certainly grew fast. Her blonde hair flew behind her as she ran.

"They're cute, aren't they?" Peggy asked beside him. She clutched his hand. Steve nodded. "They're always cute at that age. Even my grandchildren have grown up now."

"You could always move back here," Steve suggested.

"I could," she agreed although she didn't sound excited about it. She looked gorgeous in her dress. Steve tried to concentrate on that.

"Dop it!" Valeria screamed. Steve caught sight of her just as she disappeared.

"I can do that, too!" Franklin screamed. Then, Steve couldn't see him anymore. There were some screams from the guests.

"That's not so cute," Steve stated.

"I really hate when you do that," Bruce complained, covering the plastic piece coming off his head. Thor backed up from reading over Bruce's shoulder. He just wanted to help. Son of Coul seemed really angry at him. Loki moved forward until his head was almost resting on his shoulder.

"But I'm not going to get angry for you," Bruce clarified. Loki backed away. Despite the blank expression, Thor could tell he was disappointed.

"Who is this person?" Thor asked at the name.

"No touching! If you touch my screen, you can activate something. This isn't like the cheap laptop we let you play on. Tony and I worked on this. Go on your computer," Bruce complained. Then, he let go of the plastic piece.

"I just want to know who that is. They have the same user name as my lady," Thor explained. Compared with the other internet names, it had seemed unusual to him. He could be wrong but it seemed that way.

"Fine," Bruce spoke and covered the plastic piece again. "I don't remember her name. I've only met her once before. She's one of the people they brought in to clean up Loki's mess. Her user name references some set of geographical coordinates or stars or something. If I promise to introduce her, will you leave me alone?"

"Yes, you have my word," Thor agreed.

"I'll do it when we're finished," Bruce told him.

"I'll retire now," Loki spoke, heading for his bedroom.

"You do that," Bruce called after him. Thor barely noticed because he was too busy thinking about his lady and meeting her tonight.

Clint looked at his watch. The wedding was fifteen minutes late and still no Phil. Then again, he hadn't seen Pepper either. Had something come up? He checked his phone but there was nothing there. The only reason he was even here was to be Phil's date. He didn't know the groom or the bride. Phil was the one who took care of these military types. Tony stood near the groom. He knew they were good friends. Everyone seemed ready. Clint fidgeted some more. He hated wearing suits and being in these types of situations. It was another good reason why he and Jessica had eloped.

Then, the wedding march started and the bride came walking down with her mother. Everyone stood up which is when the doors opened again. Phil entered and tried to sneak in, using the outside of the pews.

"Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me."

His whispers seemed so loud despite the music. Clint felt so bad for Phil. Finally, as the bride was given to the groom, Phil squeezed in beside him.

"You made it," Steve whispered and Phil's face reddened further. Clint was hit with the urge to laugh. A few giggles escaped before Phil hit him with a glare. Then, he noticed Tony giving him the death stare, too. Clint laid his arm around Phil's back.

"I'm sure nobody noticed how you came in late and upstaged the bride," Tony spoke before draining his glass afterwards.

"_Everyone _noticed," Phil spoke. "I shouldn't even be invited to these things. It's always a disaster."

"I'm okay with not doing any of these again," Clint offered. Tony checked his phone for the umpteenth time. It was almost cute how lost he was at a social occasion without Pepper at his side.

"No, the disaster was inviting all of us in the first place. We somehow make these things a disaster by our very presence," Tony explained. "How long is that thing supposed to last?"

"I don't know. It's Loki. Did you want me to get you a laptop?" Phil asked. Tony seemed to consider it.

"No, I have a Best Man's speech in fifteen minutes," Tony spoke. "I should get back there."

"So, is this normal for you guys?" Leila asked.

"Basically," Sam answered with a grin. Phil didn't feel like being so accepting of it tonight.

Phil, Clint, Steve, Peggy, Sam Wilson and Leila Taylor had a table near the back while Tony's empty chair was right up front near James and Rae. The doors opened and Phil turned his head to look. It was second nature. However, he didn't recognize the woman. She was extremely tall and slim with long black hair. Her green dress hugged every curve.

"Who's that?" Tony asked.

"I was going to ask you," Phil told him. They watched the strange woman come closer. Was she coming towards them?

She stopped at their table and leaned in. Something about her eyes seemed familiar.

"I got tired of Bruce so I decided to come out and have some fun," she spoke. Phil felt his mouth gape open and saw that everyone else had their mouth open, too, except Peggy. "There, already begun."

With a smile, she left the table.

"Who was that?" Peggy asked.

"Loki," Phil answered with a sigh.

"Did we know he could do that?" Steve asked and Phil shook his head.

"It's mentioned in the Old Norse mythology but we weren't sure whether any of that was actually useful," Phil explained. "I don't want to cause another scene but..."

"No, we can't do that," Tony argued. "I'm Best Man and I'm putting my foot down. We're not going to ruin Rhodey's wedding day."

"But he's dangerous," Clint argued.

"As a man, but he's currently a woman, how bad could he be?" Tony asked. The rest of the table glared at him. "Fine, I'm curious. Pepper's not here and I'm bored. We could wager on who kisses him first."

Phil still didn't like the idea of willfully putting everyone in danger.

"Twenty bucks on that guy there," Peggy offered from her purse.

"Senator Stern? You have yourself a deal. I'll put twenty-five on Aldrich Killian a couple of tables over," Tony said with a grin. Then, he left for his actual table.

"This can't end well," Phil spoke. Loki seemed to be flirting with the entirety of one table. Then, his phone rang.

"Coulson here," he answered.

"It's finished," Fury spoke and hung up. Coulson allowed himself a little smile.

"They finally broke Loki's virus. Everything's back to normal...almost," Phil told them.

"I wonder how my photos would turn out in this lighting," Leila asked, almost to herself as she fumbled with her camera.

"No," Phil ordered.

Leila narrowed her brown eyes.

"Do you know how much Jameson would pay for these? Loki as a woman?" Leila spat.

"I'm well aware, but I'm not sure if you realize the magnitude of panic that would entail from knowing that Loki can shapeshift. We'll pay double if you forget this happened," Phil spoke.

"That sounds like a deal," Leila agreed. Sam shook his head and shared a look with Steve.

Thor couldn't help pacing as Bruce made his call. He had promised to introduce Thor when this was over. An oath is not something to break lightly. However, Bruce's expression was troubling.

"What?" Thor asked, not able to contain his patience anymore. Bruce put the phone down.

"I'm sorry. They said she left. I'll try to get her phone number. Do you want to share a cab back?" Bruce asked and Thor shook his head.

"I will stay here," he said. He felt restless but not enough to go back to the mansion.

"Sorry," Bruce apologized and left.

Pepper was disappointed that she missed the ceremony. James might be Tony's friend but that didn't mean they weren't close as well. The two of them had a private understanding about having to put up with Tony that only the two of them shared until Phil came along.

When he met Rae, Pepper became her friend as well. She had even consulted on the dress so it was sad not being able to see her in it on her big day. Rae had changed into a more manageable evening gown for the meal.

Pepper assumed there would be plenty of photos of Rae in the white dress with the large train and layers accented by Swarovski crystals and a pair of Louboutin heels.

However, Tony needed her. This whole thing made him so nervous; partly because of Rhodey permanently making someone just as important to him as Tony and partly because he would have to speak in public about someone who wasn't him which Tony had very little experience with. Not that Tony would admit to any of this, not even to her. He was getting better but she still had to read between the lines so often.

She squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek. Then, with a little nod, he tapped his glass. It was time for his best man speech. She tried not to laugh when the glass broke from his unexpected force.

"Coulson! I wasn't sure you'd even come, considering what happened at your wedding and all, but then, you made that memorable entrance and all. Nice!" Johnny Storm told him.

Phil just nodded. He wasn't worth it and he had his own ways of getting even.

"Johnny, have you met that woman over there? She was just telling me how hot she thought you were," Clint spoke, pointing at Loki.

"Really?" he asked and when Clint nodded, he ran a hand through his hair before walking over. Phil smiled and Clint grinned. Peggy laughed.

Then, Phil leaned over to Leila.

"I do want photos of this. You can give him some non-descript name like Tess Black," he told her.

Tony swirled the liquor around in his glass. It took some persuading to get the good stuff. Rhodey walked up to him.

"Tony, I know we haven't been as close the past year or so, but...thanks. It really was a beautiful speech earlier," Rhodey spoke.

"No problem," Tony told him.

"Rae and I should have you and Pepper over more often," Rhodey suggested. Tony nodded and added, "Rae seems like a wonderful woman."

Actually...

"Derek Bishop is having one of his charity galas next month. I could get a pair of extra tickets," Tony suggested. "If you want..."

"I think Rae would like that," Rhodey agreed.

"Looks like you won, Peggy," Phil stated. Loki definitely had his tongue down Senator Stearns' mouth.

"Why does he even do that?" Steve asked.

"Because he finds it funny to prove he's better than everyone else and we're just stupid," Clint explained.

"It's over," Phil whispered in Clint's ear.

"Sometimes, it feels like yesterday," he stated with a faraway look in his hazel eyes. Phil took Clint's hand and squeezed. Sometimes, he needed that reminder that Phil was fine now, but he knew that didn't make up for the people that Clint had killed.

Maybe he hadn't been giving Clint enough attention recently between SHIELD and being principal at Peter's school. Sometimes, it didn't seem fair to him.

"Come home with me," Clint whispered. Phil looked at his watch.

"I have to get up in three hours," Phil spoke which is when Clint started rubbing his leg against his. "Fine, but you will have to get up with me and part of those three hours will constitute sleeping."

Clint nodded.

"Goodnight," Phil spoke in a much louder voice for Steve, Peggy, Sam and Leila to hear. Phil and Clint went to track down the guests of honor so they could leave.

Steve watched Franklin and Valeria. They were being cute again. Both were asleep: one on Reed's lap and the other on Sue's lap. Steve and Peggy were alone at the table since Sam and Leila were dancing.

"Steve, I've loved this and if this were seventy years ago, it would be perfect but I can't keep you like this," Peggy spoke.

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked.

"You want that; children and everything. Don't deny it. We both talked about it back then. I had it and you deserve that, too. You deserve someone who can give you all of that," Peggy told him.

Was she breaking up with him?

"What? No, I have all the time in the world for that," Steve argued.

"You say that but none of us knows for sure," Peggy argued. He couldn't come up with a retort. She kissed his lips. It felt like the end.

"Goodbye, Steve. I never forgot you and I never will. You're a good man and you will meet a wonderful woman someday," she promised. Peggy squeezed his hand before getting up and leaving. Steve just watched her walk away in shock.

Thor lay on the couch when there was a knock at the door. He wasn't sure who that could be as he went to answer it. When he opened the door, he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Thor!" she exclaimed and held out her arms.

"Jane!" he called and hugged her before kissing her.

"I...I thought that was you that I was chatting with, but I wasn't sure but then, I heard you. I heard you talking with Bruce and I knew that it was you and I had to see you. I miss you so much," Jane rambled. Thor kissed her again, pulling her inside and closing the door.


	7. The One with the Baby on the Ceiling

The One with the Baby on the Ceiling

August 10, 2015

"Hi, Ben," Natasha spoke with a little wave. She was pretty sure small children enjoyed waves. Ben began to cry. "You didn't do this last week." Natasha had already made her greetings with everyone else.

"He's probably just being cranky and tired. He's not even using his big boy words," Phil spoke, handing her a piece of pie as they all stood in the kitchen area of the apartment that Phil and Loki shared. Clint was already sharing a piece with the toddler. She took a fork and dug in. Ben was smiling again and declaring, "Pie".

Toddlers were fickle creatures. Clint began coughing.

"If you must be sick, please do so in the toilet," Loki requested from the safe distance of the couch.

"What is it?" Phil asked.

"What's in the pie?" Clint asked between coughs.

"The usual, butter, eggs, flour, lime, kiwi-"

"I'm al...allergic to...kiwi," Clint stuttered.

"What?" Phil asked, "I thought you were allergic to strawberries."

"That's Pepper," Natasha informed them.

"Peanuts?" Phil asked.

"Peter Parker," she said, automatically. Clint mimed a clicking motion with his hand.

"That's at work. I've never needed an Epi pen at home before so we need to go to the hospital," Phil spoke. Clint shook his head.

"No neeb hobital," he argued. Natasha felt really bad for him. His tongue was definitely swelling.

"You're going, even if I have to taser you on top of everything else," Phil threatened. Clint's fight left him. They both knew that tone.

"Daddy?" Ben asked.

"Cat leab 'im," Clint spoke and reached for him.

"We can't take him with us to the hospital. He'll be fine. He has Tasha and..." he started, hesitated and repeated, "Tasha. Go on."

Phil seemed to wait for Clint to reach the door before turning to her, "It's not hard. Just make sure he doesn't kill himself."

"You're leaving me alone with him?" Natasha asked at the wide-eyed toddler watching his dad from the booster seat.

"Not entirely alone, you'll...you'll have Loki and you could call Sue..."

Natasha was relieved at the mention of Sue. She could even take Ben over there. The Baxter Building was just next door.

"They're away on a mission but you could still try," Phil finished. Her spirits sank. He turned to Ben, bending down to his level. "Your daddy's going to be fine and we'll be back before you know it, okay?"

Natasha wasn't sure Ben understood but the boy nodded anyway. Then, Clint and Phil were gone. She'd never been responsible for a child before. He finished his pie. There didn't appear to be any allergic reaction.

"So..." Natasha started. Ben wasn't any help. He rocked his booster seat, trying to break free of the restraints.

"He might be in need of a nap," Loki suggested from behind her. She looked back to see him writing in his journal. Small children did require naps.

"How do I know?"

"You could try asking."

"Ben, are you sleepy?" she asked the toddler.

"NO!" he cried.

"They are also prone to lying," Loki added.

"Great, temperamental and prone to lying. All children are simply you in miniature form," Natasha spat. He sat his pen and journal down to stand up.

"I could leave you alone with him," Loki threatened.

"No," Natasha spoke and realized what she could do. She let Ben out of his booster seat and set him down. Then, he immediately ran for the door. He jumped for the handle. She ran after him and scooped him up.

"No, your daddy was sick and had to go to a doctor. He'll be back soon," Natasha told him.

Please let it be soon, she thought.

"Let's play with your toys," she suggested and set him down near the pile. All the Avengers were there in toy form although her figure didn't really look like her at all and Tony kept teasing Phil about his not having one. Ben seemed appeased and Natasha began cleaning up the kitchen. She was almost finished when there was a tug on her jeans' leg.

"Diaper," Ben announced. No, this was below her pay grade.

"Aunt Tasha doesn't do diapers," she tried to explain.

"Diaper!" Ben screeched. "My diaper!"

"All this time and you've never learned how to change a child," Loki spoke with a smirk.

"Just because I'm a woman..."

"But I thought the illustrious Black Widow prided herself on knowing everything," he chided.

"My life has never depended on knowing that," she argued. Ben was wailing. She supposed she would have to learn.

"Ben, where are your supplies?" Loki asked. The toddler stopped crying and ran to the diaper bag on the floor. "I'd rather not have shit where it doesn't belong or a miniscule banshee in my home."

Natasha assumed she would have to jump in and stop him from using magic or some nefarious plot. Instead, he changed the diaper without much consternation.

"Interesting," he said of the adhesive strips that attached the diaper together. She supposed Asgard wasn't that advanced.

"How?" she asked when he was all done.

"Amazed?" he retorted and laughed. "Thor has a much younger brother by the name of Balder. His servants weren't always on top of his every need as planned. Sometimes, they were occupied in other ways."

Natasha had no idea. Thor had never mentioned a second brother before. However, his opening up felt weird to her. She wasn't sure she liked it so she couldn't help ruining it.

"With Thor or did you join in?" she retorted.

"Sometimes," he agreed, making the diaper disappear.

"Oops," Ben said as his sippy cup fell off the table, broke apart on the floor and grape juice spread over the rug.

"Foals are easier," Loki muttered. Something about that seemed familiar but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Me nap," Ben announced. His verbal skills reminded her of the Hulk and she shook her head. She was about to clean up the mess but Loki magiked that away, too.

"Come on," Natasha said, picked Ben up and took him to Phil's bedroom. When he was on the bed, she turned to leave.

"Sing," he requested. It was so much easier when she could just kill people.

She started to sing the first song that came to mind.

"Now somewhere in the black mining hills of Dakota

There lived a young boy named Rocky Raccoon

And one day his woman ran off with another guy

Hit young Rocky in the eye Rocky didn't like that

He said I'm gonna get that boy

So one day he walked into town

Booked himself a room in the local saloon."

Natasha assumed he had fallen asleep by the last verse and began walking away. Ben shot up.

"More," he said. Natasha opened her mouth, trying to think of something else. "No, he do it."

"You want Loki?" she asked and he nodded. "I'm not even positive he can sing."

Ben crossed his arms, just like his father. Natasha went in search of the god.

There was only one room left. Natasha knocked on the door and braced herself for anything on the other side. Then, she nudged the unlocked door open. Loki was reading on a chair beside the bed.

"Ben requests you to sing for him," she explained. "Or he won't sleep."

"Naturally," Loki spoke and stood up.

"Try not to scare him," she said as they walked back to Phil's bedroom.

"Being Barton's progeny, I doubt that is easily done," Loki remarked.

Ben was still sitting up, waiting for them as they entered. Then, he lay back down. Natasha was curious. Was there such a thing as Asgardian folk songs? However, she wasn't expecting what he started singing.

"The secret life of Arabia

Secret secrets never seen

Secret secrets ever green..."

By the time, he reached the middle, Ben was already asleep.

"The secret life of Arabia

You must see the movie the sand in my eyes

I walk through a desert song when the heroine dies"

"That's an old song," Natasha pointed out.

"I suppose it hasn't come to your attention but I'm not exactly young," Loki retorted. She knew he was right but it was easier to overlook his and Thor's true ages compared with Steve.

While he was sleeping, it was simple to forget that Ben was even there. Instead, Natasha played Phil's X-Box. She had just finished a routine in Zumba when Loki appeared.

"Has your Ben duty been relieved?" he asked. Natasha turned the game off.

"No, he should be sleeping on the bed," she explained.

"But he is not," Loki told her. She ran to the bedroom but he was right.

"Chyort voz'mi."

How had she lost Barton's kid that easily? She was in front of the door the whole time. It never opened. The windows had security sensors. Maybe he was hiding somewhere. She began opening every crevice and door, anything a toddler could possibly get into.

An hour later, she had covered the penthouse apartment and found nothing. She turned to Loki.

"Is there some sort of magic locator spell?" she asked.

"You've been reading Rogers' books," Loki commented although she noticed he didn't deny it.

"I just don't know where Ben could be!" Natasha complained. Clint was going to kill her and it wouldn't be fast. Then, she heard giggling and it wasn't from Loki. "Ben?"

More giggling could be heard. Strangely enough, it sounded like it came from above them. She looked up.

"Are all Midgardian children capable of that?" Loki asked and she shook her head. Ben looked down at them from the ceiling. He was able to crawl on it just as easily as walking on the floor.

"That's cheating," Loki declared. "How is that possible?"

"Well, Barton is normal but his ex-wife...she's what most people would refer to as a mutant. She appears to have passed some of that on," Natasha tried to explain as she took in what she was seeing. She assumed the lack of warning meant that Clint didn't even know yet.

"We should get him down," Natasha spoke. Then, she noticed his expression. "Not with magic!"

"You were prepared to use magic to find him," Loki reminded her and she glared at him.

"This is different and why do you have to have such high ceilings anyway? In a normal apartment, you'd be tall enough to grab him," Natasha complained.

"I like the space. Everywhere else is too confining," Loki told her. Then, there was a thump behind her. She turned to see that Ben had fallen onto the couch. For an instant, her heart stopped before Ben giggled and smiled.

"Fun! Do again!" he yelled.

"No," Natasha told him.

"What else can he do?" Loki asked, full of curiosity. She was considering her options when the door opened.

"Daddy!" Ben screamed and ran to Clint. He looked much better and grinned as he picked him up. Phil came over to her.

"You and the apartment appear in one piece. Loki is smiling. I'll find out why later," Phil spoke, looking at him. Then, Natasha caught him glancing upwards. "Why are there handprints on the ceiling?"

"About that..."


	8. The One with the Meeting of Insensitivit

The One with the Meeting of Insensitivity

August 24, 2015

Darcy Lewis wasn't sure how she wanted this to go. Was it like prison and she should do something insane to show her toughness? Then again, JARVIS probably wouldn't like that. It would be better to try and follow Coulson's example. Ipod stealer could be extremely badass without saying a single word. Still, she was very nervous to be in the conference room at Avengers Tower surrounded by all of them. Well, all of them except...

"Stark, you're late as usual," Coulson commented after Tony and Pepper came through the door.

"What's she doing here? I thought she and Foster were a package deal," Tony complained with narrowed brown eyes. Darcy readjusted her glasses out of habit.

"Sit down and I'll explain," Coulson retorted. After a moment, he continued, "SHIELD is fully equipped to handle just about every need but the six of you end up taking up a lot of our time and manpower so it's been decided that you need two handlers. I will continue to handle missions and official SHIELD business. Agent Lewis will handle your media needs; appearances, press releases, damage control..."

"If this is Avengers business, why am I here?" Pepper asked.

"Agent and I agreed that since Tony will tell you everything anyway, this was just faster," Darcy spoke. Pepper nodded and Tony smirked. She viewed it as a small victory.

"I don't see why we would have to give the media any more than they already take," Clint complained.

"You mean the way they gossip over Agent and who he really is?" Darcy asked.

"No, I don't mind that. We're old enough to handle it but my kid's not even two. He doesn't need that," Clint answered.

"Ah, Ben Drew-Whedon. He's a cutie and he looks just like you so that's kind of irresistible. Really, with those genes, probably would have been hard to make an ugly kid-"

"But does it end? And when?" Clint asked, cutting her off.

"After age five, celebrity kids start being graded on what they're doing, who they're with and how pretty they are. Take the Bishop girls. Susan is legal and attractive; goes out with all the right guys and all the right parties. She's always on the society page. The younger one doesn't do any of that. She just does the charities and plays her violin. She's almost never on the society page," Darcy explained.

"In her defense, Katherine Bishop is just eleven. It's a cello, not a violin and Julliard really isn't that easy to get into," Pepper spoke.

"Whatever, she's still boring," Darcy said with a shrug.

"As for your question, Legolas, the answer is no," Tony spoke. Of anyone there, he would have the most experience with that.

"I don't think you're our new special media handler person," Clint retorted.

"He's right though. From what I hear, Ben will never be boring because he's a mutant," Darcy said.

"He's not a mutant. He just takes after his mom that way," Clint argued.

"Fine, but there are tactics we can use to make their photographs less valuable, like releasing our own. We really need more official photos out there anyway. If nothing else, I'm sick of the same ones on Tumblr all the time. There are only so many ways you can photoshop Thor's head on Romanov's lingerie shots," Darcy complained.

"What?" Thor asked. Bruce shook his head and she saw him visibly letting it go. Jane could explain it later if he remembered.

"We do have a more serious issue to address," Darcy said. She wasn't sure how they would take it so she took a deep breath, released it and continued, "We're all white and most of you are male. It doesn't look good. Actually, the media describes you guys as 'a sausage fest'."

Natasha smirked.

"I don't understand," Thor complained. "We are not breakfast meat."

"I think they are referring to a penis as a sausage and that we have a lot of them," Steve tried to explain.

"Midguardian sausage is made out of human penis? That is very bizarre. We eat sausage on Asgard and it may have penis but never of an Asgardian," Thor stated.

"No, we don't eat other people," Steve told him.

"This is so not the conversation I want to have right now," Darcy complained. "We need to focus. I have a list of candidates to run by you."

Darcy was starting to learn Phil's slight variations in his official capacity. He had shifted just a fraction of an inch. She wasn't sure if it was surprise or annoyance or both because she hadn't mentioned the list to him beforehand.

"Steve, why haven't you invited Samuel Wilson to be an Avenger?" Darcy asked. Steve's expression was apologetic.

"Coulson has mentioned it..."

"Mhmm and?"

"He suggested it really but I hadn't talked it over with everyone else. I don't want to ask unless everyone is okay with it," Steve explained.

Damn, he was too polite for his own good sometimes.

"Don't you guys have a leader?" Darcy asked.

"Sure," Clint responded and all six of the superheroes looked at Coulson. Darcy sighed.

"Among you, you guys have to have a leader," Darcy spoke and when they didn't say anything, she added, "I want you to come up with a leader right now."

"Do we have to listen to Taser Girl?" Tony asked Coulson.

"Yes, and we have equipped her with the latest in taser technology," Coulson spoke. Darcy smiled as Thor paled just a little bit.

"Steve," said five voices in unison.

"Now, this is getting somewhere and see Steve, they all have such faith in you," Darcy pointed out.

"Actually, none of the rest of us wants the job," Bruce said. She should have been waiting for that other shoe.

"But that's not how we're going to spin it for the media," Darcy spoke. "So, you'll ask Sam and Tony, why not Rhodes?"

Tony and Pepper shared a look.

"Rhodes is more of a West Coast kind of guy and he has his military responsibilities. I could ask but I doubt he'd say yes to a full-time position," Tony told her.

"What about Luke Cage?" Darcy asked, looking at Coulson.

"Isn't he just a teenager?" Pepper asked with a worried expression.

"Eighteen but he's out of school and he's been doing this for years," Coulson explained.

"He's allowed out without Thing 1 and Thing 2?" Tony asked, folding his arms against his chest.

"If you're referring to Danny Rand and Peter Parker, Rand could be a definite asset. Parker can't be an Avenger until he graduates," Coulson told them.

Darcy's mind was already imagining the buzz they would get from Spider-Man joining them before she caught that last part.

"Why?"

"Because I made a promise," Coulson spoke.

Damn.

"What about White Tiger? Ava Aly-Ally-Olly oxen free?" Darcy asked, snapping her fingers and still not coming up with the right name.

"Miss Ayala is brilliant but she's also brilliant at her studies. She's being a full-time student at the moment. I'm only supposed to pull her in if it's really important," Coulson spoke again.

Damn.

"If we add all of them, might as well have a Young Avengers or something," Tony joked. However, that wasn't a bad idea. The youth demographic was important. Next time...

"We need more women on the team," Darcy told them.

"I wouldn't mind more beautiful women on the team," Clint stated. Darcy cringed. Then, she looked at Pepper sitting beside him and nodded.

"What? No, I can't-"

"I give you full permission. Do it," Darcy told her. Pepper hesitated for a second longer, then pulled her hand back and slapped Clint across the back of his head.

"I didn't say I'd do anything to them, just look at them. I have Phil for doing things with," Clint explained.

"Your hole," Tony remarked and made a motion of digging a hole bigger. Coulson was looking at the table but his ears were turning slightly pink.

"The correct answer is that you would welcome more women on the team as long as they are qualified and it doesn't matter what they look like," Darcy spoke. "Now, how about Barbara Morse? Jessica Drew? Sif? Jewel? Wanda Frank? Kitty Pryde? Jennifer-"

"That last one is classified and not to be repeated," Coulson interrupted. Darcy decided not to press the issue but it couldn't be that classified or she wouldn't have been able to hack into the files using Stark's technology. She liked how Clint's composure seemed a bit more off now. Natasha was grinning.

"Jessica might like a break from the baby, getting back into things," Natasha suggested. Clint nodded.

"Who's Morse?" Steve asked.

"Agent Morse is a new recruit, prefers Bobbi but she has a lot of talent and potential," Coulson agreed.

"Sif hasn't much interest in Midguard. She's taken it upon herself to be Asgard's protector in my stead," Thor explained.

"Jewel's not ready. She needs more time to mature into her skills," Coulson added. It made Darcy wonder just how old Jewel was exactly and her real identity.

"I don't know if the X-Men would want to join or not. They seem to have their own thing," Clint spoke.

"Oh yes, we can't get in the way of their 'thing'", Darcy complained and rolled her eyes. "I know some of them already work with SHIELD."

"Which one's Wanda Frank?" Tony asked.

"Scarlet Witch, she's not...anything really. So far, she doesn't side with anyone but herself and her brother," Coulson explained.

"But she can do actual magic, how cool would that be? Like Harry Potter but real?" Darcy pointed out. "Nobody else has any ideas? Natasha?"

"I haven't worked with women that often actually," Natasha admitted.

"That is the saddest most pathetic thing I've ever heard," Darcy spoke and turned to Coulson. "Is that true?"

"Agent Romanov has a unique skill set unmatched by most men much less women. Aside from Barton and Hill, she also tends to work better alone," Coulson answered. Darcy resisted trying to rip her hair out.

"It's not always that easy to even recruit women," Pepper added. "Especially with Tony and his reputation, I have a very hard convincing them to join Stark Industries. I lose them to AIM, Hank Pym, other places..."

She held eye contact with Coulson. Having a level two clearance sucked. There was a lot of stuff that Darcy felt she should know but didn't.

"AIM? Aren't they...evil?" Bruce asked.

"Extremely," Tony agreed. "How about if we have a video with Natalie saying how wonderful it was to work for us?"

"First of all, I think everyone would recognize Natalie as Natasha. Second of all, that party is still on Youtube," Pepper spoke.

"Which party?" Tony asked.

"The one where you flirted with her and showed her how to operate your suit," Pepper reminded him. Darcy had seen that footage. It was pretty hot.

"Oh that," Tony spoke. "In my defense, I did think I was going to die."

"That doesn't help," Pepper argued.

Still, if women would rather work for an evil organization than Stark Industries, then that was a definite image problem and meant they needed to add females on the team more than she realized.

"Are we done here?" Clint asked. This was like commanding a kindergarten class, or herding a bunch of cats.

Darcy nodded and the group shot off like a rocket. She slunk back in her chair.

"That went well," Coulson commented. With that, she closed her eyes and sighed.

"Did your first meeting go that well? So well that you wanted to kill yourself afterwards?" Darcy asked, opening her eyes again and standing up. Coulson was almost at the door.

"Actually, my first meeting with them didn't have much speaking on my part which was good because I was still in shock that I'd met Steve Rogers and maybe he would sign my cards. There were a lot of incoherent noises in my head," said Coulson with a small smile that faded. "But I did kill myself afterwards."

Darcy was mid-stride when that caught up with her.

"Wait. What?" she asked and gave him a look of utter disbelief.

"I checked out a really large gun and my LMD. It even fooled Fury," Coulson explained.

"How'd the team take it?" Darcy asked.

"Not well at first," Coulson admitted. "They don't trust easily."

He leaned down to Darcy and turned against the camera.

"They're not like us. They didn't choose any of this. They're accustomed to people using them," Coulson whispered. Darcy hadn't thought about that before. It was a little too heavy.

"What makes you think I chose this?" Darcy tried to joke.

"Other than saying 'yes" when I asked?" Coulson retorted. "Darcy Lewis was an Honors student who could have had her pick of internships, including those closer to her actual field but you picked Foster."

Agent was good.

"She seemed so enthusiastic about it all but when I checked it out; no one else had even applied. No one wanted to help her," she revealed. She'd never told anyone else before.

Coulson hit the button for the elevator.

"That's part of why I picked you," he said.

"And the other part?" Darcy asked.

"I asked Leila Taylor and she turned me down," Coulson told her with a hint of a grin. The elevator dinged open and they stepped in. Darcy had her own floor now. She knew Coulson had one if he chose but he still insisted on living with Loki. However, he pressed the button for Hawkeye's floor.

"Maybe we could have a West Coast Avengers with Rhodes," Darcy joked.

"It's not a bad idea for the future. It would make more sense to have more localized groups. We could have one on most continents even," Coulson spoke.

"Great Lakes Avengers?" Darcy asked.

"That might be pushing it," Coulson stated.

Darcy was starting to like iPod Stealer.

Phil walked onto Clint's floor. With school starting up again, Darcy was going to be a big help but was it going to be enough? He always seemed to be working. It seemed unfair to Clint. He deserved a better boyfriend especially with pining over him for eleven years.

Phil found him in his bedroom with a photo of Ben. The small boy was smiling and only wearing a diaper. Clint looked up.

"Promise me that we won't be sent out on the same missions," Clint stated. His blue eyes were a million miles away.

"I promise, but even if that happens, it would never be like what happened to you. Ben has Vange, me, all the Avengers, SHIELD and the X-Men looking out for him, not just you and Jessica," Phil told him while wrapping his arms around his body.

Clint put the photo down and started kissing him.


	9. The One Where Clint and Phil Take a Brea

The One Where Clint and Phil Take a Break

September 4, 2013

Steve thought he should try and get to know Natasha better. Maybe lunch would be a good idea. However, it meant navigating SHIELD and without the help of Phil who was at his principal duty or Clint who had the day off.

"Steve!" yelled someone behind him. He turned to see Jane and waved. She walked over to him.

"Who are you looking for?" she asked. It probably had been that obvious.

"Natasha," he answered.

"I heard she was working out with Bobbi," Jane told him. "Do you..."

"I do know where the gym is," Steve said with a nod. He walked through the corridors and passed people hard at work until reaching the large gym. He spotted them in the boxing ring. Unfamiliar music came from an electronic device to the side. They stopped at his entrance and Bobbi turned it off. They hadn't actually fought together but she had been made an official Avenger.

"Rogers, what are you doing here?" Natasha asked. Her suspicious tone made him realize how much they needed this.

"I thought we could go to lunch as friends," Steve suggested. Natasha seemed to think about this and nodded.

"Let me shower and change first," she said and he nodded. She picked up a towel and headed for the side door.

"Want a go?" Bobbi asked. It was tempting. He had learned how to restrain himself against other people but then, Natasha would have to wait while he showered. He shook his head. The young woman went to the punching bag. He watched her for a moment; enthralled both by her blonde ponytail bouncing around and the way her bottoms were clingy. He wondered if his bottoms fit that way. However, her technique was a bit off.

"Bobbi, excuse me. You should..." Steve started and tried to demonstrate. She attempted what he said but her fists still didn't hit where they should.

"You should mix it up like this," Steve said and helped guide her arms to different levels. They were very close. She smelled like vanilla.

"Thanks," Bobbi said but didn't try to take her arms back.

"I could come back," Natasha suggested behind them. Steve and Bobbi both seemed to jump apart.

"Wanda's having a party tonight. You should come. Natasha knows the address," Bobbi told him with a smile.

"Maybe I will," Steve agreed.

"We'll work with you, I promise," Coulson said to the girl. She blew her nose again and nodded. He hated seeing a girl cry. "Do you want me to call your parents?"

"No," she said and shook her head. He sighed inwardly. Maybe they didn't even know yet. He couldn't imagine.

"You can always talk to me," Coulson told her. "Do you want a minute?"

She nodded and he let her have a moment to herself. He waited outside, wondering if it was one of the boys at the school that did it. Pregnant girls were not mentioned by Fury when he gave him this assignment.

"Hello, honey," Clint spoke, walking up to him. Normally, Clint would be a welcome sight. However, he was carrying a picnic basket. "I thought we could eat in your office."

"That's really not a good idea right now," Phil told him. Carrie still hadn't left. "I'm dealing with a couple of crises, plus the budget as usual and finding enough teachers."

"You don't have half an hour?" Clint asked.

"I don't even have ten minutes but tonight, maybe I can make it up to you," he whispered and looked into his light brown eyes.

"If nothing else comes up, you've said that before," Clint pointed out. He was right but Phil was very conscious of the students who were starting to watch.

"I can't do this now. We'll talk later," he said and the door opened. As Carrie left, Phil went inside.

Thor opened the door. Then, he closed it. After that, he opened it really, really slowly before starting the process again.

"Is there a point to this?" Tony asked with his arms crossed.

"I don't believe the light stays on when I close it but I cannot watch it come on," Thor complained. Tony had that expression he often directed at himself. Thor didn't like it very much.

"There's a button. It pushes in when you close the door and the light goes off. When you open the door, it pushes out and the light comes on. It's a circuit thing," Tony explained.

"I have learned about circuits," Thor corrected him.

"Then, you can have Jane go into it more," Tony spoke, took out a bottle of water and started to walk out of the room. "Steve, what's this I hear about a party?"

Phil wasn't surprised when Clint was waiting for him at home.

"I'm sorry but the school year just started and this is a rough time of the year," Phil apologized.

"If it's too much, quit. It's not like Fury would fire you. Have someone else be principal for a while, like Hill," Clint suggested.

"No, I can't do that to them. Those kids are depending on me, just like you and the Avengers," Phil told him.

"But I'm your boyfriend," Clint complained.

"Which you made abundantly clear today in front of everyone. I don't like having our business in public like that," Phil grumbled. "I'm tired. Maybe we should take a break."

"I could fix dinner. Loki's still off wherever so we have the whole place to ourselves," Clint suggested.

Phil hated what he was about to say next.

"No. A break from us."

Clint gave him the saddest expression and left, shutting the door behind him. For once, the apartment felt too large and too quiet.

Steve was dancing with Bobbi. He was pleased to find out she knew how to swing and didn't care that they were the only ones dancing that way. Most were dancing in that odd modern way or holding each other close like Jean and Scott.

"Isn't that Barton?" Bobbi asked. Clint was supposed to be spending the night with Phil so he found that hard to believe. However, when he looked in the direction she motioned to, there he was.

"You mind?" he asked and she shook her head. They walked over. However, Wanda, the hostess of the party, came to them first. Steve had just met her that night.

"Who's this?" Wanda asked.

"Clint Barton," Clint answered after some hesitation.

"Oh, I've heard all about you but didn't recognize you out of uniform. I'm Wanda Frank," she said and stuck out her hand. He shook it.

"I thought you'd be with Phil right now," Steve commented.

"Me, too," Clint agreed. "Yeah, little change in plans. Ahh, we're going to break-up instead."

Steve couldn't believe his ears. He thought they were a perfect couple. A cat wound between his legs.

Phil heard his phone rang and hoped it was Clint despite what he had said. It had been hasty. It had been stupid. He was driving Clint away.

The number was Peter instead.

"Mr. Parker, what is it?" Coulson asked.

"I need to talk to someone," Peter explained in his own way. For being able to explain complicated scientific processes, he wasn't very good at the social skills.

"What about your aunt?" Coulson asked.

"I can't. It's about Mary Jane," said Peter. "And everyone else was going to sneak into that party."

"What about Mary Jane?" Coulson asked.

"I want to tell her. She's been really annoyed with me lately because she doesn't get it," Peter complained.

There's a lot of that going on, thought Coulson. He thought about his options: trying to have a heart to heart with a teenager boy over the phone, make him come to an empty school or an empty mansion?

"I suppose I could try calling Tony..."

Coulson cringed at that thought.

"He's at the party, too, anyway," Coulson told him and realized there was only one real option although he hated it. "I'm going to give you my address, you can come over and we can talk."

"So, what are you going to do?" Tony asked Clint.

"What can I do? He said it," Clint spoke with a drink in his hand.

"But it's Phil, you're not supposed to actually do what he says," Tony argued.

"That may be part of why he's in this mess," Steve retorted.

"But no, if Pepper was giving her opinion, she'd say something like you should fight for him," Tony told him.

"Yes, that is what I feel," Pepper agreed with her new drink. Shock was giving way to a smile.

"You should call him," Bobbi agreed. When even the new person was pressuring him, perhaps Clint should give it a try. He took out his cellphone.

"But you're putting her in a lot of danger if you do this," Coulson warned. "No matter how capable, she is still a civilian."

"You don't have any superpowers either," Peter pointed out.

"No, but I've had a lot of training and I've had to make a lot of sacrifices to get where I am," Coulson spoke. "I've tried to impress on you time and time again that this is not an easy calling."

"But what if there was some way of knowing if she was ready or not? Pepper isn't a SHIELD agent either," Peter argued.

Then, his phone rang. It couldn't be Peter since he was sitting across from him. He smiled at the caller ID.

"Hi," he answered.

"Hi," Clint spoke.

"I was hoping you'd call," Phil admitted.

"This is so stupid. Can I come over and we'll talk again?" Clint asked.

"Yeah, I just have to take care of something first..."

"Did I come over at a bad time?" Peter asked.

"Who's that?"

"Nobody," Coulson replied.

"I shouldn't have bothered you," Peter spoke and stood up.

"Barton, I-"

The phone went dead. Coulson gritted his teeth.

"I heard a rumor that Hawkeye was at school today and you guys were arguing but I didn't believe them," Peter spoke in a soft voice.

"Are you going to be okay with getting home?" Coulson asked. He hated being so naked in front of him. First, there was the tightie-whities incident and the science fair incident. Now, all his feelings were laid out there. To think, he was trying to give the teenager advice and it felt like he had barely a clue himself.

"Yeah," Peter agreed and headed toward the door. He was almost there when he turned back to face him. "Coulson?"

"Yeah?" he asked. Peter glanced down at his Converse before looking at him again.

"I know we make fun and all but...it means a lot that you're always there," Peter spoke and hurried out the door. Coulson didn't know to feel. It hurt to think. He sat in his chair. He also knew what Clint tended to do when he was upset, but wasn't sure how he would take it if he did...

"What's my cousin doing here?" Bruce asked. Natasha thought someone would have told him so she played dumb.

"What are you talking about?" Natasha asked.

"My cousin, Jennifer Walters, is right over there," he said and pointed to the brunette. "I haven't seen her since she nearly died in a car accident. I gave her a blood transfusion."

"I think you two should catch up. Go over and say hello," Natasha suggested and motioned for him to go. She knew she was a coward. The blood transfusion was a way for her to explain why Jennifer was there but Bruce was going to get upset from it and she still had some problems being around the Other Guy. She shot back the glass of Vodka she'd been holding and straightened her dress.

"Clint, no matter what has happened, I can't allow such a face at my party," Wanda complained. He didn't care. However, she took him by the arm and pulled him up from the chair. She started dancing. The name escaped him. He never learned the names and he was drunk. Still, she was dancing and very close and there was something about her. Scarlet Witch wasn't just a name, it seemed. Her red dress was skintight. The lights and the alcohol and the situation were giving him a headache and the person that he'd run to was Phil who didn't want him. He wasn't even sure where Tasha was.

"Can we be still a moment? Or the room could stop spinning?" Clint asked and she stopped. Techno music still pounded in his ears.

"Come on, I'll show you somewhere more private," Wanda suggested. Clint knew he should refuse but he didn't.

When Loki arrived at the apartment, Coulson was moping. It would be easiest to possess him to find out what the problem was but he reminded himself that he shouldn't care about the mortals and their problems. It was bad enough that Barton's child had reminded him of his past; of what he had left behind. For a moment, he had clenched his hand into a fist. He let go. Someday, they would understand what they had done to him. Then, he disappeared into his bedroom.

"You realize he's not the only one out there?" Wanda asked, pouring them drinks from a decanter.

"To me, he was," Clint spoke. He sat down on the plush couch in front of her fireplace and she sat down beside him. They sat in silence and drank their scotch.

"It's still unacceptable to be unhappy at one of my parties," Wanda complained.

"Yeah? And how do you intend to fix that?" Clint asked.

"Like this," Wanda said and kissed him. He pulled away. It was wrong except it wasn't, not technically.

Technically, Phil had broken up with him and she was a really good kisser. It felt so nice, like old habits do.

He kissed back.


	10. The One with the Morning After

The One with the Morning After

September 5, 2013

Clint's first thoughts were that he didn't recognize the bed. Then, he saw the naked brunette beside him...Wanda.

Phil wasn't going to like this.

Except he and Phil had broken up.

He groaned. The entire thing was stupid. Bits and pieces came back to him. Wanda had been amazing.

Still, it had been a mistake; a horrible mistake. What was he going to do?

"Anyone talk to Phil?" Pepper asked while she rolled up her pantyhose over her legs. It hid the fact that she didn't feel like shaving today.

"No, I don't think so," said Tony before shaking his head and buttoning up his shirt.

"I'll talk to him later-"

"Not at school," Tony reminded her.

"I'm not an idiot," she complained.

"Barton apparently is," Tony spoke.

"Are we sure he hasn't been switched with an alien?" Pepper asked.

"No, but we could always cut him and see what color his blood is to be sure," Tony teased.

"Depending on my mood after talking to Phil, I might take you up on that offer," Pepper said with a smile.

"What are your lunch plans?" Tony asked.

"Rae," she answered. "I think they're trying for a baby."

"So soon?" Tony asked.

"It's been seven months," Pepper answered with a shrug.

Bruce wanted to talk to Phil. He knew it wasn't the best time but he just found out about Jennifer and that wasn't something they should have kept from him. After knocking, he simply went inside the unlocked door before being surprised at who was behind the desk.

"Yeah, I don't like this either, but Coulson is off with Peter and his gang so here I am. What did you need, Banner?" Maria Hill asked.

"Jennifer, my cousin. You never saw fit to...to tell me? Were you ever planning on telling me?" Bruce asked.

"It's a delicate situation. Obviously, we didn't want to upset you..."

"Yes, me finding out at a party was so much better. If something had gone wrong, I'm sure the Scarlet Witch would have appreciated your planning," Bruce retorted. "I thought I was saving her life, not dooming her."

"Yes, your blood infected your cousin but it's not the same. Her body mass increase isn't as great and she remains in more control. She can even speak full sentences. It's really not so bad," Maria tried to tell him. He didn't want to believe her but Jennifer hadn't seemed that angry or upset with him last night.

"Look, I'm sorry we didn't tell you. There are a lot of things I'd do differently but in the end, it's the Director's call," Maria spoke. "Honestly, I feel like the third wheel sometimes. I think they have their secret language."

"In 'sirs' and 'yeps'," Bruce joked and she smiled. He wasn't about to let her off the hook but he did understand being the third wheel. Then, he noticed the dress hanging up. "What's that for?"

"I'm supposed to be attending a state dinner tonight but my boyfriend dumped me this morning, his loss," she explained although he could tell that it still hurt. Part of him wanted to stop him from what he did next.

"I happen to not be doing anything tonight," he told her. Her blue eyes were intrigued, then confused.

"Do you have a suit?" she asked.

"I can borrow one from Tony. He likes dressing me up," Bruce answered and she laughed.

"Fine, come back here after the last bell."

Clint had tried Phil's cell all day to no avail so he had decided to do the direct approach of going to his apartment building. Just a couple of minutes later, Phil arrived and Clint walked over to him.

"No, not right now," Phil told him. He had never heard him use such a cold tone to him before.

"Please-."

"Please? You should have thought of that last night at the party," Phil told him. A shiver ran through Clint.

"You know?"

"Yeah, teenager girls don't keep secrets well and Ava was very upset about seeing you go into a private room with the hostess," Phil spoke. "I guess she felt some sort of loyalty."

It was his normal quiet form of speaking that was really getting to Clint. He wanted to get yelled at. He wanted Phil to be angry at him. He deserved it.

"I slept with her," he admitted. "I'm sorry."

Phil turned around without another word and went for the front doors. Clint followed after him.

Pepper knocked on the door although it might be too early for Phil to be back yet. The door opened and she saw Natasha there as well as Thor and Jane.

"I've only just arrived. He's not here yet," she said and Pepper came in.

"I wanted to see how Son of Coul was," Thor spoke.

"Have you talked to him yet?" she asked. Natasha shook her head.

"He hasn't been at SHIELD all day," she told Pepper and then, her phone vibrated. She took it out and read the message. It was strange.

"Peter sent Tony a text message and now he wants me to call him back," Pepper explained. Natasha's phone chirped and she took it out.

"Text message from Fury. Phil and Clint are heading this way," Natasha explained.

"Both of them?" Pepper asked. Then, they could hear them through the door.

"Come on, Phil! Talk to me! Please!" Clint begged.

"I can't talk to you. I can't even look at you right now," Phil spat.

"Bathroom!" Pepper announced and they all ran for the door that was ajar. In her hurry, she ran straight into a body that was already there as Jane shut the door.

Loki tried to say something with a mouth full of toothpaste that Pepper couldn't understand.

"Brother, you've returned!" Thor exclaimed and went to embrace him. Loki pushed him away, spat out the toothpaste and rinsed his mouth.

"Why is everyone invading my personal bathroom time?" Loki asked.

"Just get away from me," Phil said through the door. Even Loki appeared to be listening.

"No, it was a mistake! I made a mistake! Okay?" Clint argued.

"A mistake? You had sex with someone else," Phil announced and everyone in the bathroom gasped.

"Please not Wanda, please not Wanda," Natasha whispered.

"But she's the Scarlet Witch, she has powers..."

Natasha didn't even hide her cringe.

"Spill," Pepper demanded.

"I like Wanda, or I did...not sure now but she is very powerful and she's the daughter of Magneto..."

Pepper felt like she should know the name. Jane, Thor and Loki were complete blanks.

"He's one of the most powerful mutants in the world," Natasha told them.

"I thought Charles was," Pepper spoke.

"They used to be an item once upon a time," Natasha answered and held up her hand. Phil was speaking again.

"So, she was a better lover?" he asked.

"Tell him no," Jane whispered.

"No, she was just...different," Clint answered. "She meant nothing to me."

"So it was your usual upset fuck?" Phil asked.

"You broke up with me," Clint suggested. "Peter sees you more than I do."

"Because that's my JOB. You knew that from Day One. You knew how much I care about my work, that's what I am. Who convinced them you should be part of the Initiative? Who saved your asses over Budapest? Who backed up your decision about Natasha? I did. That's what I do." Phil spoke, "I suggested a break. I didn't say a permanent one but maybe...maybe that's what needs to happen."

"Phil, please..."

"No, Clint, you ruined it," Phil spoke so low they could barely hear it. Pepper kept waiting for some magic moment when they would make up and remember how much they loved each other. She hated the fighting.

"I made a mistake."

"We both did but your mistake can't just be undone," Phil pointed out.

"Just tell me what to do. You're right, you're always getting me out of messes," Clint spoke. Pepper wasn't sure what to do so she put an arm around Natasha. The other woman didn't shrug it off.

"Not this time," Phil told him.

"I could possess him again," Loki whispered. Pepper was a little ashamed at how slow they were to admonish the idea. The realization hung heavy in the air that they had all considered it.

"If I had access to the time machine at SHIELD, I'd go back and fix it. I'd do anything," Clint pleaded.

"They have a time machine?" Loki asked.

"No," Thor told him and Natasha groaned along with a Russian curse under her breath. There was the sound of a scuffle.

"No, you can't just kiss me and make it all better. It doesn't work like that. I just keep thinking about it," Phil complained. "I think you should go."

"Phil-"

"Please, please just go," Phil pleaded. Pepper could tell they were crying by their voices and she closed her eyes. She felt Natasha put an arm around her and draw her closer.

"I'm sorry," Clint sobbed and they heard the door shut.

"I'm sorry, too," Phil agreed and they heard a different door shut.

"We should probably wait, make it seem like we didn't listen to all of it," Jane suggested. A couple of uncomfortable minutes passed.

"Brother, is it true that you went to Asgard disguised in a cloak and visited no one? It is what Sif claims," Thor spoke.

"She told you then? I saw her following me," Loki acknowledged. "She did get one detail wrong. There were two I visited in Asgard."

"Who?" Thor asked and Pepper wondered if he'd even answer. Loki wore his twisted smile.

"Sleipnir and Fenrir," he replied and Thor looked away. Pepper tried to hide her surprise. She knew that certain aspects of the mythology were real but she wouldn't have guessed those.

"Being that I live here, I am going to leave and the rest of you can follow suit," Loki suggested and opened the door. Pepper rushed for the hallway and the security of the elevator. When the others didn't follow soon enough, she closed the door. Everything felt like too much. The elevator was barely on its way when it stopped again and Nick Fury entered. Pepper wasn't sure what to say. How much had he heard since he lived below them?

Halfway through the ride, Fury coughed.

"I know I have a reputation for being insensitive but I really did think they'd make it," Fury spoke. "I was hoping they would."

They rode to the ground floor and went their separate ways. Pepper headed for the closest bench and sat on it. The day was overwhelming and she wanted a moment to collect her thoughts. A toad hopped past.

"You neglected to mention the fact that the dinner was in Washington," Bruce pointed out as they sat surrounded by various people recognizable from C-SPAN.

"Oops," Maria said with a smile. "There comes a point where you just don't notice anymore. I just accept that I'm in Washington tonight. I'll be back in New York tomorrow and probably in London or someplace the day after that."

"And you enjoy that? I always wanted stability. I wanted roots," Bruce spoke.

"Wanted?" Maria asked.

"Doesn't really matter anymore what I wanted, I just have to live one day at a time. No planning...and I hate it," Bruce complained.

"I was always goal oriented. As long as I got what I wanted in the end, it was worth it. I still think that way. It's just a little harder to visualize. I'm already number two. My main problem right now is respect since Fury doesn't always treat me like his number two," Maria explained.

"Because he has Phil," Bruce stated.

"Right, and you don't even know the half of it. I've been here thirteen years. Phil's been here eleven, but Nick's been grooming Phil since he joined the Army over thirty years ago. Phil just didn't know it at first," Maria spoke. Bruce shook his head. It sounded absolutely crazy and completely believable from Nick Fury.

"What are you going to do?" Bruce asked.

"Not sure, I need something big. Something that will get me noticed and make everyone respect me," Maria spoke. Bruce picked up his wine and drank some.

Natasha exited the building and spotted Pepper on a bench. She assumed that she'd left long ago so it was a little odd. Natasha sat down beside her.

"Did you talk to him?" Pepper asked.

"He was pretty out of it. There was a drinking contest, or it turned into a drinking contest. Jane's passed out on the couch. With any luck, he'll forget we overheard anything or not care," Natasha told her.

"Are you going to talk to Clint?" Pepper asked.

"Maybe, they're both being stubborn," Natasha answered. "It's what Clint typically does when something bad happens. Find someone and have sex with them."

"You think there's something else?"

"I think things were getting serious and Phil got scared," Natasha uttered.

Pepper knew very few things could scare Phil but maybe the other woman was right. When Natasha was about to leave, she stopped her. "It's been a rough day; Phil and my lunch about baby things and everything else but there is one thing it made me realize. I want you to find them."

It took a moment for Natasha to remember since their conversation had been a year and a half ago.

"You want me to find your real parents?" Natasha asked. Pepper nodded.

"And don't let anyone else know about it. I'll tell them when or if there's something to tell," Pepper told her.

"Call Tony. He's texted me twice asking about you," Natasha complained. "And I can't promise you anything soon even with all the databases we have."

Pepper understood. It was a long shot but it was the best chance she had.


	11. The One at the Beach

The One at the Beach

September 7, 2015

Natasha tried to encrypt and disguise her DNA search for Pepper with false names. It still made her a little paranoid. If Coulson caught her, it would be fine. If Fury or Hill caught her, there'd be problems. There was also no telling how long it would take for-

Chyort voz'mi

It was too quick to find results already. She wasn't even sure she had finished searching the SHIELD files. Natasha read the name and cringed. She called Pepper up.

"I have some news. Are you free for lunch?" she asked and Pepper agreed to see her.

Pepper couldn't believe there was news so soon. She had only just asked her a couple of days ago. After placing her purse, she sat at the table and tried to be patient. Natasha ended up being late but she was used to it from years of practice with Tony.

"Tell me," Pepper said as soon as she came within earshot.

"You have a half-brother," Natasha told her as she sat down.

The words replayed themselves in Pepper's mind.

"I have a brother? I've never had a brother before. What's he like?" she asked.

"Well, I could set up a meeting between the two of you if you want," Natasha offered.

"Yes, as soon as possible. This is great," Pepper exclaimed.

"But he does look very different from you. I don't want you to be surprised. He's a really nice guy. I've worked with him before," Natasha told her. Pepper became more excited.

"I don't care what he looks like. He's my brother. I want to meet him," Pepper assured her. "I'm going to explain everything to Tony. This is so exciting."

It took a week to coordinate schedules but Natasha pulled it off. She also kept heading off questions about Pepper's parents. She never found any possibility for her dad and her mom was in a file only accessible to Level 9 and up although her half-brother's identity made that fairly obvious. Phil and Clint were on what could be best described as speaking terms. They could speak to each other although they tried their best not to unless there was no other choice. Natasha hated being in the middle. Neither was forcing her to choose between them but it meant that she was their preferred intermediary. Plus, Hill seemed to suspect that Natasha was up to something. With the brother seated beside her, she waited for Pepper to appear.

Pepper strode over to Natasha and the person beside her. It was a man yet his skin was blue. Was this her brother? She walked faster. The man looked a little shocked although it passed. Was it something about her expression?

"Pepper Potts, this is Kurt Wagner. Kurt Wagner, this is Pepper Potts. You have the same mother," Natasha told them.

"Yes," Kurt agreed with an odd expression on his face. Pepper wasn't sure whether to go for a hug or what was expected of her. She held out her hand and Kurt took it. Natasha was right about his looking different. He was blue with yellow eyes and sharp teeth.

"Sit," Natasha suggested and Pepper felt odd for not thinking of it. She sat down.

"Where were you born? When?" Pepper asked.

"I was born on January 27, 1965 in Austria. Like you, I was adopted but I was raised in the circus," Kurt explained in a German accent. Pepper felt awful. Had he been treated well? She knew Clint had some history with the circus that caused him not to like it. Her feelings must have been transparent. "No, I look fondly on my time there. People were more kind than not to me. I only had problems as I grew older. What about you?"

"Uh, September 27, 1973 in New York City if that's to be believed. They never told me I was adopted. I just found out a few years ago," Pepper explained.

"Is Pepper your given name?" Kurt asked and she laughed.

"No, it's Virginia but the last person I told that to...he tried to call me Ginny and I don't like that at all. Now, Steve knows better," she said with a laugh.

"Is Steve your boyfriend? Why Pepper?" Kurt asked.

"No, he's a colleague. Tony's my boyfriend. It's Pepper because of the freckles," she said and pointed at her face.

"I am glad no one calls me Blue," Kurt replied with a laugh.

"When I came up, you looked surprised. Why?" she asked. Kurt took a moment.

"At first, all I could see was that you were tall and blond. You looked very much like someone from my past that I do not want to ever come across again," Kurt spoke in a way that scared her a little bit. "But Tony is your boyfriend? I would like to meet this Tony and you should meet Amanda. She can't wait to meet you."

"Amanda?"

"Amanda is my wife," Kurt explained. Pepper felt a huge grin come over her face. She had a sister-in-law, too.

"Really? Any kids?" Pepper asked.

"Not yet," Kurt answered and shook his head. The smile seemed forced and she chastised herself for asking what seemed to be a sore point.

"Have you ever met our mom? What about your dad?" Pepper asked. Kurt frowned at this.

"I have met both. I don't want to meet them again. I know she is our mother but she is not worth it. She is a bad person. You're better off not knowing her," Kurt told her. She was shocked. It had never crossed her mind that their mother wasn't someone she wanted to know especially when she and Kurt seemed to have turned out so well.

"I like this," Sif proclaimed and held up her glass. "The Midgardians certainly know how to bring in a new year."

"I'm glad you were able to come," Thor told her. Jane clenched his hand tighter.

"Where is Loki?" Sif asked.

"I don't believe he is coming tonight," Thor spoke. He and Son of Coul had tried to convince him to come even though it was at the Tower. There was no telling what mischief Loki might be up to. Thor held up his glass to Kurt. Kurt was Pepper's brother and blue like the Jotun but he was of Midgard. He also noticed not all of the party guests had stayed in the main room.

"Look at Ben," Clint spoke and showed his phone. He certainly wasn't a baby anymore and was adorned with a large festive hat. Sif smiled at the picture.

"2016 is just around the corner so find that person you want to be with. The countdown begins now. 10!" yelled the man on the television. Thor saw Kitty embrace the man who could make drinks cold like Loki could at home.

"9!"

Darcy was already kissing her date; some guy named Wade.

"8!"

Not far from Coulson were Peter and Mary Jane.

"7!"

Fandral suddenly picked Natasha up. She shrieked and slapped him but not very hard.

"6!"

Kurt took his wife into his arms.

"5!"

Steve was already kissing Bobbi.

"4!"

Maria was sitting on Bruce's lap.

"3!"

Tony and Pepper were walking up the stairs towards their bedroom.

"2!"

Sif walked over to Coulson and offered her hand.

"1!"

Thor looked down at Jane and held her close.

"0! HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY 2016!" shouted everyone from the television. He kissed her long and hard, not stopping until there was the sound of someone being shoved into a table.

"Don't kiss me!" Clint spat and Thor saw his brother in his female disguise. He had to laugh.

Pepper knew what Kurt had said and that he must have very good reasons for doing so. However, as the months went by, it still gnawed at her. She wanted to know who her mother was and whether she could tell her anything about her father. They were at a restaurant in March. It was the four of them: she, Tony, Kurt and Amanda. She waited until both their partners were away.

"Kurt, do you know how to contact her at all?" she asked.

"Pepper, Pepper...you should not do this," Kurt warned.

"I know, but it's my mistake. I need to know," Pepper pleaded. "Please?"

He swirled his drink before speaking again.

"She works with Magneto. None of them will help you but there's one on our side that might be able to help you. Go see Charles and ask to speak to Rogue," Kurt told her and she nodded.

"Daddy! Daddy! Watch me!" Ben yelled as Clint came to pick him up.

"Be careful!" Jessica told him. She whispered at Clint, "I really hate it inside the house but it's not like he can do it outside."

Clint became nervous at what his son's newest trick could be especially when he climbed onto the dining room table.

"Watch! Watch!" Ben yelled and jumped. Instead of falling, he started to fly over to them. Clint caught him in his arms.

"That was awesome, Ben!" he praised and kissed him. Then, he turned to Jessica. "Now, you know how I felt when you flew while we were married."

"You need to start talking to Phil better and not using Natasha," she told him with a glare.

"Where did this come from?" Clint asked.

"I think everyone noticed the other day with Mole Man. It's not fair to her that you keep putting her in the middle. I've tried talking to Phil. Now I'm talking to you," she spoke and her green eyes shown that she meant it.

"Fine, tomorrow, since right now, I know he's with May," Clint agreed. Jessica laughed and shook her head.

"First rule of SHIELD: Eventually, everyone will sleep with everyone else," Jessica joked.

"May's not SHIELD," he pointed out.

"Close enough," she retorted.

"Just don't say that in front of Peter, he doesn't know."

"About Phil and May?" Jessica asked, confused.

"About what his aunt really does for a living."

"Boy, for supposedly being so smart, that boy can be really stupid sometimes," Jessica stated. Clint laughed and agreed, "Yeah."

"We go now?" Ben asked with annoyance. It was clear that he had reached his limit of adult conversation.

"Yes," Clint said and picked up the overnight bag.

"Park?" the two year old asked.

"Sure, but you can't fly," Clint said.

"Daddy!" Ben complained.

"It's too dangerous," he told him. Vange came out so both women waved goodbye as they left.

Things weren't as good as they should be between him and Phil. He accepted this except for that little part that would love him forever. There was a little part of him that would always love Jessica, too.

Pepper was expecting someone older, more her age or Kurt's age. Instead, Rogue was just a few years older than Natasha despite the grey streak in her hair and the worn look in her green eyes.

"Why did you ask for me?" she asked in a southern accent.

"Kurt said you might be able to contact our mother but why you?" Pepper asked.

"Our mother?" she repeated and seemed to scrutinize her. "Yes, I can see it- the resemblance."

She looked like their mother? She had heard that Kurt took after their mother.

"I go by Rogue these days but my adopted name is Anna Marie Darkholme. Raven Darkholme took me in. She raised me when no one else wanted me. I know what Kurt says, but there's not all bad in her. It's just really buried," Rogue told her.

"I just want to talk to her. I want to know who my father is," Pepper told her.

"She doesn't speak to me anymore but I'll see what I can do. Chances are, she knows what you're up to and if she wants, she'll come to you," Rogue spoke. It almost sounded like a warning.

It turned out that Rogue was right. A few weeks later, a courier bought a package. Inside the package were coordinates along with a date and time.

"I don't like it," Tony declared.

"I don't like it either," Pepper agreed. "But I don't have much choice. This is the only way I'm going to know."

"Is there any way I could come with you?" Tony asked. Pepper shook her head.

"Maybe if you weren't Iron Man?" Pepper suggested.

"Phil then," Tony offered.

"Tempting but I think I have to go alone," Pepper told him.

"RESCUE?" Tony suggested. She gave him a look. He sighed before taking her hand and kissing her cheek.

"I'm not going to like it," Tony stated.

"That's fine, there's a lot of things you do that I don't like either," Pepper retorted. "If I tell Phil, then SHIELD knows and I don't want them to know."

Tony's phone rang.

Phil, Maria and Nick were meeting in Nick's office with all the security on.

"I've had it confirmed that Pepper Potts is her daughter. Agent Romanov used our equipment to find this out last fall and I had it tested again recently. Potts has begun a sibling relationship with Kurt Wagner and also contacted Anne Marie. Then, yesterday, this came to her," Maria Hill explained and used her phone to project an image on the wall of a short note with coordinates, time and a date. She also had all the evidence to back up her other claims. Phil felt horrible for Pepper. Over the years, he had tried to get over the fact that he would have to spy on friends and loved ones but it never got any easier even if he hadn't been personally involved here. Still, Pepper's privacy had been violated and it hadn't been because of Tony. This was different.

"And what do you propose to do with this?" asked Fury.

"We know exactly where Raven Darkholme is going to be. We can arrest her and remove a very violent criminal from the world as well as one of Magneto's best weapons," Maria spoke.

"What are these coordinates?" Fury asked.

"It's an island off Virginia. There's an estate but it's uninhabited," Maria explained. It was too simple. Something was wrong.

"I don't like it," Fury spoke.

"We can't afford to let this opportunity go by," Maria argued. Phil wanted Fury to make her let this go. There was too much that could go wrong even without a civilian element.

"If you insist on doing this, it has to be the original Avengers only. Don't take any of the SHIELD Agents except Coulson, Romanov and Barton," Fury told her. Not only had he agreed to it, but he'd volunteered Phil. Could it get any worse?

"Fine, I'll start planning," Maria agreed. "One more thing, how did we not know that Potts was carrying the mutant gene?"

"We don't test every asset for that," Phil pointed out.

"Maybe we should," Maria said before gathering her things and leaving the room. Phil was left with a number of questions. He started with the most important.

"Raven Darkholme's file is a Level Nine. I shouldn't have even been at this meeting, sir," Phil pointed out.

"Consider it a promotion then," Fury stated.

"You can't let her go through with this. It's not going to end well and it's not nice to Pepper," Phil spoke.

"We can't let our personal feelings get in the way. Let Maria have her setback. Let her learn from her mistakes and she'll have the Avengers to cover her ass," Fury told him.

"I'm not sure this really qualifies under their job description," Phil spoke.

"They're under SHIELD. We decide what they qualify for," Fury said. "Dismissed."

Phil walked out of the room. He didn't like any of this. It would require a lot of thought.

Phil decided to add a Plan B that Nick wouldn't approve of. He stood in the living room and let himself appear nervous.

"There's nothing I should know about? You aren't having something done to the apartment?" Loki asked, right on cue.

"No, no, it's just...it's a tough case today. Your brother will be there but she's a mutant and she's pretty strong," Phil spoke. Loki was intrigued.

"You claim that she's a match for an Asgardian? Better than Sif?" Loki questioned.

"Possibly," Phil said since he couldn't remember if he had seen Sif in action. The response was immediate. Loki changed into his battle armour.

"It's been too long since I've had a good fight," he stated. Phil had his Plan B.

Pepper jumped down from the rope attached to a Stark helicopter. Her mother was somewhere on this island and she was going to find her. She was also going to enjoy being away from Tony who was being more weird than normal. Pepper was struck by the urge to call out her name but wasn't sure if that would be Raven or Mystique.

There was a creek and she followed that until she reached a mansion. She knocked on the door although it made her feel kind of silly. It was unlocked and she went inside.

"Hello Virginia," called a voice and Pepper walked into a side room where a woman was sitting down. She had blond hair, blue eyes and was very gorgeous.

"I prefer Pepper, actually," Pepper spoke. "I thought Kurt said he took after you."

"The real me? Is that what you want, Pepper?" she asked. Pepper nodded. She was starting to feel a little afraid. "Then call me Mystique."

Mystique stood up and changed form. Now, she was blue from head to toe except for bright yellow eyes like Kurt and red hair. Pepper couldn't help touching her own hair; strawberry blonde that always acted like it couldn't decide between red or blonde. They were also the same height.

"I thought Kurt was dead, but I knew when I gave you up, I knew where you were. I watched you as you started being in the papers and on TV. I wanted to make sure you didn't change like Graydon," Mystique explained except Pepper didn't know who Graydon was. Still, she watched her? She cared?

"For not being a mutant, you've done pretty well," Mystique told her. There seemed to be a veiled insult in that. Then, the front door slammed open.

"Who came with you?" Mystique spat.

"No one," Pepper told her. It was plain that she didn't believe her. Pepper watched as Mystique revealed a gun and grabbed her by the wrist, dragging her into the main room. Five of the Avengers, Maria Hill and Loki were there. Tony and Phil were missing. She hoped they'd stayed home rather than participate in this.

"Raven, you're going to come up with us," Maria told her.

"That's not my name, not anymore," Mystique spoke. "I'm not going anywhere."

She cocked her gun. The safety was off and she had it pointed at Maria. Pepper didn't like this. Kurt was right. Before she could pull the trigger, Pepper grabbed for the gun. It went off.

Phil just wanted to postpone that look of betrayal on Pepper's face, same as Tony. Maria was an apt leader. He would wait and see before following in after them. Then, he heard the gun shot.

He didn't even look at Tony. They both ran inside to find a horrible sight. Mystique was smirking in triumph. Pepper was slumped to the floor with an expression that tore at Phil's insides. When he saw what she was looking at, he wanted to throw up.

The bullet had hit Maria. He ran to her but with that kind of head wound, she was already gone. Phil tried to take control and do what she would have wanted him to. It didn't work this time. His knees buckled and he fell down beside her.

"I heard you were a great warrior. Shouldn't such contraptions be beneath you?" asked Loki. Phil looked up to see Loki standing in front of Mystique. Tony had reached Pepper and was pulling her into his arms. Bruce just stared without a word.

"Every one of you is beneath me, human," Mystique told him.

"Ah...your mistake," Loki spoke and his skin color changed to blue similar to her own. His breath could be seen in the air. Phil had never seen Loki's Frost Giant form before. While she was still surprised, Loki took the time to throw several knives. One hit the target while she dodged the others.

"Interesting," she said and changed into his duplicate. Phil hadn't warned him about that part. His mind struggled with the battle at hand and Maria being dead. A comforting hand was on his shoulder. He looked up to see Clint who nodded at him. Maria would have to wait. Phil had to decide what they were going to do. He knew he didn't want anyone else hurt by her. Loki had countered Mystique's move by making his own duplicates. There was no way she could know the real one. Natasha bent down to close Maria's eyes.

"We stand down," Phil whispered. He felt like he was betraying Maria. "Let Loki, Thor and Banner handle it."

However, Thor seemed to be concerned about injuring the real Loki and he could tell Bruce didn't want to change in the enclosed environment. The ceiling did look low. Plus, Bruce had been with Maria. On the other hand, Mystique was slower and she looked to be bleeding from a combination of Loki's assaults and her failed hits on the decoys. For a moment, he forgot and thought how Maria must be enjoying this. He rested his hand on top of Clint's. Then, Loki's duplicates disappeared and he staggered. Mystique began to laugh. Phil took Clint's hand so he helped Phil to his feet. They were steadier now. He didn't want Mystique to get away with it.

"Brother?" Thor asked and came closer. He threw Mjolnir but Mystique ducked. Another woman came out of a different room. She had black hair that was obviously dyed and a large grin. Between that and the tendrils of her costume, Phil knew who this was: Sybil Dvorak. Able to manipulate body tissue, there was no telling what she was doing to him.

She could manipulate body tissue...

"Banner, go after the new one," he ordered as Mystique and Sybil made their way for the door. Loki was even bluer than before. Bruce Hulked out. Pieces of ceiling fell down on them. He leaped for the two making their exit when he changed back without warning. He fell against the threshold and Phil ran to see the women leave in a small jet. Tony had his suit on and aimed to shoot while Steve held his shield at the ready. Lightning struck a tree nearby. The ground shook and rain was pelting down. Phil knew it was sunny when they had heard the gunshot. Steve threw his shield anyway but it was no use. The jet was too far away. They went back inside.

"Pepper..." Natasha started. Pepper was kneeling by Maria's body. "Don't do this."

Bruce was checking out a lethargic Loki. Tony headed for Pepper while Phil went to see what Sybil had managed to do to an Asgardian. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Thor this upset. However, Loki's eyes were completely red and dark liquid was dried on his nostrils and ears.

"What happened?"

"She tried to kill his brain from the inside out. Blown blood vessels from the looks of it," Bruce spoke.

"Mitt head vondt," Loki mumbled.

"Brother, be still," Thor told him.

"He's going to be okay then?" Phil asked.

"I think so. Although he's altered, the talking is a good sign," Bruce answered. It was one less worry. "I've never seen this before. I've never experienced what she did to me. She forced me to change back. Who is she?"

"Someone we'll probably run across again," Phil spoke and turned back to the rest. Tony had Pepper on a couch while Natasha and Clint were both sitting near Maria. Steve just stood there. There was no need in postponing the inevitable. He took out his cell phone and punched buttons.

"Director Fury, we- we lost Hill," he stated. "It was Mystique, sir. We'll be on our way."

"You can't. There's a storm over your location, only your location. Unless Thor can dispatch it, you're stuck until it improves or we can locate Ororo. She's following some lead in Africa," Fury explained. It wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Okay, sir," he acknowledged and hung up. "Thor, unless you can clean up that storm out there, we can't leave."

Thor hesitated. Phil noticed that Loki's skin color had turned back to the same as color as Thor. Bruce nodded at him and Thor called his hammer before venturing outside. The rain sounded worse and lightning struck nearby again. Thor came back in and shook his head.

"It is enchanted," he spoke with disgust. "Perhaps once Loki is well."

There was nothing else to be done. They were stuck here. Phil didn't like leaving her on the floor. He picked her although she felt so much heavier now. On a large coffee table, he placed her body, folding her arms. She could have almost passed for a Snow White waiting for her prince if you didn't look at her head.

It was a private room connected to the main room where everyone else was.

"I'm sorry, Maria. I'm sorry," Phil apologized. Every SHIELD agent accepted that they probably weren't going to retire. Peggy Carter was the rare exception. They were going to die in the line of duty and it was going to hurt. At least with Maria, it was quick.

Phil took a chair for himself. He turned his back to the doorway so they couldn't see him cry. His dulled senses missed the approaching figure until the arms were around him. He smelled Clint's familiar scent.

"Remember when we finished training and she was such a hard-ass on you?" Clint asked. "I wanted to put a snake in her quarters but you convinced me not to. Instead, you found out her favorite bottle of wine and chocolates. Then, she stopped."

"I'm glad she did that though. It made me better," Phil argued. "What are we going to do?"

"You're going to agonize about the change in power structure, how SHIELD will be affected and what you could have done differently," Clint spoke. "So, I'm here to stop you for the time being."

"Stop me?" asked Phil although he liked the sound of that plan. He wanted something else to distract him from everything inside.

"Like this," Clint said and started kissing him. Yesterday, Phil would have pushed him away; still hurt from the betrayal all those months ago and how stupid he had been himself. Today, none of it mattered. He just wanted to feel alive. Phil kissed him back and held him close.

Steve had wandered the full extent of the house. It was almost like something out of Gatsby. Once upon a time, it must have been very expensive to build and keep. Now, it was beginning to fall apart; crumbling paint here and decaying fabric there. He walked down the stairs into the main room. Bruce, Natasha, Thor and Loki sat in the middle with playing cards. Loki was only half-clothed and Bruce was in his boxers while Thor was also in a state of undress, just not as much.

"But for round twelve, the winner has the lowest score," Bruce explained. He shared a glance with Natasha. "So, the one with the highest points has to remove another article."

"Me again?" Loki asked.

"Yes," Bruce confirmed. Loki removed his leggings so just his underwear remained.

"Bruce, I want a word," Steve spoke and motioned for him to come over.

"I thought you were supposed to watch him, not take advantage," Steve reminded him.

"It's Loki. How many times does this opportunity come up? His cognitive skills are slowly improving; just let us have this fun," Bruce said. Steve noticed how red Bruce's eyes were. How could he forget how close Bruce and Maria had become? He'd let Bruce have this respite.

Then Steve realized how Bruce was in his boxers.

"If you're making up the rules, how come you lost a round?" he asked.

"Natasha does some of the rounds and she can be very persuasive," Bruce explained. "Join in."

Steve didn't have anything else to do so he asked for some cards.

"Whoever has the most hearts is the loser," Natasha declared after they all noticed Loki's full hand of them.

"Men jeg bare my undergarment," Loki pointed out.

"It's the rules," Natasha said with a shrug.

"If he remembers any of this, he will kill us," Steve pointed out.

"Still worth it," Natasha argued. Loki slid off the fabric and Steve was glad he wasn't drinking anything. Even Natasha was freely gaping in surprise.

"What? Jeg deforment?" Loki asked, looking down.

"No!" Bruce, Steve and Natasha all agreed.

"You people can be very strange sometimes," Thor commented.

"He is a Frost Giant. Maybe that's the 'giant' part," Steve theorized.

"Literally," Bruce retorted.

"We could have a comparison," Natasha suggested and nodded at Thor.

In a louder voice, Bruce announced, "We'll play until only one person is still clothed."

A phone rang and Thor reached into his armor.

"Jane, this is not the best time," Thor spoke into the device and walked away from them. A live comparison would have to wait.

"You can't blame yourself," Tony told Pepper. How many times had she said that to him? How useless it all seemed now.

"How could I not? I wanted to meet her. I'm the reason Maria came here. I'm the one that fought with the gun," Pepper spoke. "And she was wearing a vest. I didn't know that. Maybe if I just let Mystique shoot, she would have shot her chest and she'd still be alive right now. Or if she had just used a LMD like Phil did?"

"Pepper, you know how many times I've gone through this. My actions have caused a lot of pain and suffering, I admit. I used to wonder how many deaths I enabled to happen through Stark weapons, but it eats at you," Tony admitted. In a softer voice as he looked away from her, he added, "It's why I felt I had to do Iron Man."

"So, this is what you feel like? Day after day?" Pepper asked. Tony nodded.

"Yep," he replied. Pepper's insides felt like a bottomless pit and while she saw how much it had all hurt Tony, it was overwhelming feeling it.

"I...I don't want to be you," Pepper spoke. "I should have just stuck with being an average assistant and nothing special."

"Pepper-"

She couldn't look at him anymore. Instead, she walked over to the window and looked out. Tony tried to put his hands on her shoulder but she shrugged out of it. She didn't want to feel better. This was all her fault.


	12. The One with the Jellyfish

The One with the Jellyfish

April 4, 2016

Phil Coulson kissed Clint Barton on the lips as the younger man's hands were busy elsewhere. As much as he loved the younger man and his distracting him, he couldn't hide from the truth forever. Maria Hill was dead and it was partially his fault. He pushed Clint away.

"What?" Clint asked.

"I just want a break," Phil spoke. It followed by a hurt expression from Clint and he realized his wording could have been better. "Just a walk around."

He made his way up from the bed somehow. It was antique and falling apart like the rest of the mansion that Mystique had made Pepper Potts meet her at. When Phil, Loki and the rest of the Avengers followed, Mystique had retaliated by shooting Maria in the head. Phil sighed. Then, he wondered where Pepper was because she must be feeling so much worse.

Pepper fled from the room where she had broken up with Tony. First, she stumbled into the antiquated bathroom where she threw up in the toilet. Then, she wanted somewhere quiet to herself. However, in almost every room, she ended up having to leave because of Thor's arguing with Jane on a cell phone. One locked room had fitful snores that sounded like Bruce while she recognized the voices of Clint and Phil in another. She couldn't bear to see Maria lying on the table so she escaped outside to the beach. It worked until an almost naked, limping Loki was being followed by Tony and Steve with their shirts off. She decided she would rather avoid Tony for right now so she left for a creek that also ran by the mansion. Rain pelted down but none of them seemed to really notice.

"How do the rest of them live like this? Like nothing happened?" Pepper whispered, hugging herself.

"But she's not used to this like we are," Steve spoke as the tide washed over his feet.

"I know but-" Tony started, paused a moment and finished, "She'll be fine."

Steve could tell that he should drop it because Tony was doing that thing where something was really bothering him but he was trying not to show it.

"So, have you read Harry Potter?" Steve asked, changing the subject.

"Oww!" Loki howled.

"Shit," Tony spat. They had promised Bruce that they'd watch Loki while he caught a quick nap. Loki might be an Asgardian but he had his mind exploded the day before by one of Mystique's friends. Even Bruce's thrashing hadn't left him that bad. They ran over the wet sand and waded to his location in the surf.

"What badness is this?" Loki growled and looked down at the back of his legs. They were crisscrossed with red lines and stingers still attached.

"I've seen this before. You've been stung by a Jellyfish," Steve spoke. Tony grimaced.

"This Midgardian creature needs to pay!" Loki spat before doubling over. He was clearly in pain.

"Can't you do magic? I thought you were better," Tony spoke.

"Not enough," he growled. Steve pulled the stingers off.

"In the army, we had ointments," Steve explained, "but I also heard urine works."

"Yes! I heard that, too," Tony agreed; a little too forcefully. Loki gave them an evil glare.

"Look away," he requested and Steve did so. He had already seen all of Loki in the strip card game the night before. After a moment, he heard what had to be an expletive but he wasn't sure of the language.

"I can't do it," Loki complained. As soon as Tony's mouth started to open, Steve shot him a look. Even though Loki wasn't their favorite person, he still needed their help. They should have realized he couldn't reach the back of his legs like that. Loki had pulled his loaned boxers back up before Steve turned around.

Steve tried to do the deed but he had never liked peeing under pressure. When he had urine tests, he made sure he drank a gallon or two beforehand. Even the sound of the rain around them didn't help.

"Ugh." Loki complained.

"Need a little help there, Cap?" Tony asked. Reluctantly, he nodded and pulled his pants back up.

Tony pulled his down.

"Never...never...never...you guys again!" Loki stuttered as the yellow stream hit the red welts. Steve wasn't sure how much of the stuttering was embarrassment or still from the brain damage. It was odd seeing him this way.

"We should probably wake Bruce up for this," Steve stated.

"Darcy wishes to speak to you. She tried calling your phone," Thor spoke, holding out the phone to Phil.

"This is my phone. I lent it to you when your phone battery ran out," Phil reminded him, taking it from him.

"Right, Jane has wished to speak for a very long time. Things are not well," Thor explained. Phil nodded and put the phone to his ear.

"Coulson," he answered.

"Is it true about Maria?" Darcy asked in a voice lacking her usual amiable apathy.

"Yes," he answered. It wasn't getting easier especially when he heard Darcy draw in a breath like she was trying not to cry.

"Why- why didn't you bring the others? Why wasn't I there?" Darcy asked.

"Fury had us bring a minimum crew to minimize casualties. There could have been more. Bruce was injured and Loki was almost killed," Phil told her. Should he have been more forceful with Fury? It felt like his fault. "You couldn't have come because you haven't been trained like that. You handle public relations."

"Then, what good am I? I wasn't any good to Maria. I couldn't help her. I'm not even a Junior Agent then. I'm practically nothing," Darcy complained.

Without thinking, Phil asked, "Then, what do you want me to do about that?"

"Train me. Make me a full agent with all the clearances and responsibility," Darcy stated.

"Fine."

"Fine? I was expecting a little more argument," she said, regaining some of her usual tone.

"Not today, I'm not in the mood. We'll discuss more when I'm back in New York. I'm giving you back to Thor," Phil told her and held up the phone for the other man to take.

"Why does he smell like piss? You were supposed to watch him," Bruce complained as Steve and Tony led Loki towards him.

"There was an incident with jellyfish," Tony explained.

Bruce resisted the urge to sigh and close his eyes.

"Don't tell me you believed that old wives' tale and peed on him," Bruce retorted.

"Wives' tale?" Steve asked.

"Yes, he's right. It's not working!" Loki raged. Despite the grimace that followed, he seemed to be back to normal. "Let go of me!"

Steve and Tony let go with a hiss. Loki's hands had been blue for a brief instant. Bruce saw him stare at them, smile and disappear.

"I think our ticket out of here just left," Tony pointed out.

"SHIELD must have a backup plan," Bruce said.

Natasha sat by Maria. She felt broken and was relieved when Clint entered the room. He put a hand on her shoulder.

"I haven't cried," she admitted. "All she's done and..."

"She'd understand, Tash. It doesn't mean anything," Clint spoke.

"She did though. She cried for every agent we lost. She cared," Natasha argued. "What if it's everything they did? Everything they made me into? What if I'm broken that way?"

Clint's hand left her shoulder and he stood in front of her.

"I haven't cried either. I thought maybe it was being worried for everyone else, especially Phil. Maybe I was still in battle mode but-," he paused. Clint looked at Maria a second.

"It still hasn't happened. Maybe it was your upbringing but what if SHIELD is making us worse? What if we became too good at killing? Like it doesn't have meaning anymore?" Clint spoke. His blue eyes were so sad and his words brought to mind another conversation from years ago.

_You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away!_

At the time, she had only focused on her mission but since then, his words held a scary truth to them. She claimed to have no loyalty to SHIELD yet she had grown comfortable, too comfortable. Her foot struck out at a broken planter that shattered further, spewing the ancient dirt against the hard wooden floor.

"If we're not SHIELD, what would we be?" Natasha asked.

"Avengers?" Clint suggested and she nodded.

"SHIELD's working on it. If nothing else, we wait for Miss Munroe to come back from Africa," Phil explained. Bruce nodded. The others were around. The island wasn't immense. He could find them if he had to.

"Did you know that Fury had you pegged as his number two since you were a teenager? Why?" Bruce asked. It was sudden and drowning like the rain outside. He could have two choices; his official work identity or the truth.

"I was one of the younger Rangers. They have a lot of hoops so you can't be too young but I wanted to be in the Army, like Rogers. Rangers seemed like the closest thing to a Howling Commandos squad. I was good at it," Phil spoke. He paused for a moment. The truth felt so ugly spoken aloud. "I was good at killing people. It came easily. Fury was one of my commanding officers then."

He knew Bruce was holding on. He was in control but he could also see how much Maria's death was wrecking him. The other man was just looking at the floor with his hands in his pockets.

"And then Fury recruited you here?" Bruce spat.

"No, I turned him down. I quit. It wasn't as glamorous as I imagined it to be," Phil explained. "So I went to college. I tried being normal."

"None of us get to be normal," Bruce uttered.

"No," Phil agreed. "It didn't work."

"Maria told me so many times how she was looking for that one big mission that would finally prove herself to Fury and make her stop being the third wheel," Bruce spoke. "I guess he has what he wants now."

Before Phil could worry about Bruce's state, he walked out of the room. Phil crossed his arms. Everything was wrong. Then, he realized the rain had stopped. This was the first good news in hours.

"You're going to talk and I'm not going to like it," Clint guessed as he studied Phil's worried face. Despite being back in Manhattan and Clint's own bed, it had gotten worse.

"Yeah," Phil uttered. "Bruce is pretty torn up and I think he blames me. He said that Maria felt like 'the third wheel'. I knew things were bad but...I always treated her as a superior, or at least an equal."

"I know you would have talked to Fury, argued with him," Clint said, taking his hand.

"I know but...maybe I could have done more," Phil spoke. Clint let go of his hand, took his arm and pulled him closer.

"They're going to need you. Nobody's going to want to listen to Blake, seniority or not. Peter's going to graduate in a couple of months and then, you won't have to be principal anymore. Darcy's working out-"

"Darcy wants to be trained to be 'a full agent'", Phil interrupted him.

"Hmm," Clint replied in response.

"You're going to make a betting pool, aren't you?" Phil guessed.

"You never know, I might let Tony do it," Clint offered.

"He might need a distraction from thinking about Pepper," he agreed.

"She didn't really...?" Clint asked.

"She did," Phil confirmed. Clint braced himself for what was coming. "I'm going to be as busy as or busier than when we broke up and I don't want us to make the same mistakes again. I can't offer you anything serious. If you want to see other people when I'm not around, I think you should and we'll just be...casual."

It was better than nothing. He'd take it for now. Maybe one day he'd even talk to Phil about the conversation with Tasha.


	13. The One with Pepper's Uterus

The One with Pepper's Uterus

August 1, 2016

"So, what's up, boss man?" Darcy asked, sitting down in Coulson's office.

"We have a little situation for you to know about," he spoke. She found herself expecting anything to come from his mouth. 'Little' was usually an understatement. "Luke Cage was a little too productive at Parker's graduation party."

"Productive?" Darcy asked before thinking aloud, "The one six weeks ago? OH! Baby Avenger?!"

Coulson nodded with an expression that she couldn't tell was approval or not.

"This'll be great. The public loves babies and Ben is nearly two and a half now. Are they marrying?" she asked, imagining the possibilities.

"I'm not sure if that's an option. They seem to be mildly tolerating each other," Coulson told her. "Rand's been a big help going between them."

So, it was one of _those _hook-ups, Darcy thought. She was a little surprised that the future mom would even keep it.

"What's the plan then?" she asked.

"I think you should talk to both parties, especially her, about what they want," he suggested.

"Wait, she's not like...a regular person, is she?"Darcy questioned.

"No, luckily, her name's Jessica Jones. You know her better as Jewel," Coulson answered.

Ooh, she was going to meet Jewel but then, she remembered what Coulson had said before.

"I thought you said she was too young for our superhero gang?" she asked.

"I didn't say that. I didn't think she was ready. I still don't. She's still figuring out who she is," he explained. If Luke was only nineteen, how old was Jessica?

"How old is she?" she asked.

"Twenty," Coulson replied. Even just being thirty, twenty felt like a lifetime ago.

"Okay, get me her contact information," Darcy told him.

"Be careful about where she wants to meet or if she tries to introduce you to anyone. Some of her contacts are on our watch list," he explained while putting together what looked like his travel kit.

"I'll be fine. I'm getting high marks in weapons training," she said with a smile. "And I'm even trying to look the part. See, I have a suit and everything."

"Except for being trigger happy," Coulson remarked.

"There's nothing wrong with that as long as no one gets killed," Darcy argued. She saw Phil's forehead furrow ever so slightly.

BAMF!

Pepper looked up from her desk to see Kurt. Tony wouldn't be happy with that lax in security. She wondered if that meant Loki could just appear whenever he felt like it. Was that what he did that day of the invasion?

"Kurt, you can always ask to see me or we could have lunch," she suggested.

"This was faster," he explained. She was happy to see him but he almost seemed nervous.

"How's Amanda?" Pepper asked.

"Very well, thank you. It's just-"

He trailed off and she waited patiently.

"Amanda and I have been trying for a baby for years now but with no luck," Kurt explained.

"I'm sorry," Pepper told him. "If there's anything I can do, any doctors you need or recommendations or anything..."

"Actually, there is one thing that Dr. McCoy suggested. Amanda was too shy to ask this. The doctor thinks that part of the problem is that she's not a mutant and her body is fighting it. It is possible that a surrogate with a mutant gene might be best," Kurt explained.

"Who do you have in mind?" Pepper asked.

"You, actually. The baby would be of your blood, too. Maybe it would be better that way," Kurt spoke.

Pepper was stunned. Not only had she just been asked to carry their baby, but her brother seemed to be implying that she was a mutant herself.

"Kurt, I'm not a mutant. I'm-"

She caught herself before she said she was normal. Wasn't she normal though? She looked at the photo of her adoptive parents on her desk.

"But we share a mother. It is possible. I do not want to pressure you. Dr. McCoy at the mansion can tell you how much you take after her or not," Kurt explained. Pepper nodded. It was a lot to think about. He disappeared.

Natasha smoothed out her dress. An up-raised eyebrow dared Clint to make another crack about her blonde wig. She knew the time would come eventually when they would be too recognizable for these covert operations but she liked the simple plans where they just had to con.

"Cresten should be coming into your line of view any second now," Sitwell announced in her earpiece. She carefully put on her gloves and went to meet him.

Pepper wasn't sure exactly why she was doing this. That's not true. She had ideas. Curiosity had always been a strong motive and she felt like she owed it to Kurt.

It just wasn't her. She was careful and calculated. Everything was measured. This was impulsive.

Plus, she was lost. The helpful directions to find Dr. McCoy really weren't that helpful.

"Ant Peppa!" called a voice. She looked to see Ben hanging from a wall. Resisting the urge to laugh and shake her head, she plucked him off and held him.

"Ben!" called Vange's voice.

"Evangeline, I have him!" Pepper called and saw the other woman.

"Ant Peppa, I'm with Mimi taday," Ben explained.

"And she took you to work with her, that's nice," Pepper spoke. Ben smiled. When he did that, Pepper could imagine what Clint must have looked like at that age but she knew he hadn't had as much to smile about.

"I like it," Ben agreed.

"Ben! You had me so worried! You can't just disappear like that. What if something had happened to you?" Vange asked the boy and took him from Pepper.

"I'm sorry, Mimi," he apologized.

"I accept," Vange said and kissed his forehead. Then, she turned to Pepper, "Phil went on some mission with Jess and Clint's already somewhere with Natasha. What brings you here?"

"I'm supposed to have a meeting with Dr. McCoy," Pepper explained. "But I got lost."

"We can take you," Vange said and Pepper followed them. "He delivered Ben."

"I bet you say that to all the girls," Natasha spoke to her mark.

"Oh, just you," Cresten insisted. He twirled her away from him. She was careful not to touch anything before spinning back into his arms.

"I don't normally do that with a guy I just met," she spoke. Her voice was extra breathy and she left her lips open just a bit.

"Oh, you could make an exception for me...can't you?" he asked.

"Well, maybe..." she spoke.

"Good, Penthouse suite, I'll be expecting you," he said into her ear before kissing her and giving her butt a firm squeeze. She waited until he was out of earshot before whispering, "We got him."

Then, Natasha gingerly pulled off her gloves.

"Luckily, I'm not an ordinary doctor. I have my own methods so I do have your test results already," Dr. McCoy explained. Pepper knew that during her earlier examination that he said it would only take an hour or two but she was still surprised. It felt like she was about to find out whether her whole life would be different. She had always thought of mutants as different from her and not something she completely understood. Ben and his moms and Kurt seemed nice enough. She just didn't know that many that well.

"What is it?" she asked.

"You do carry the mutant gene. That alone doesn't make someone a mutant. It just means they have the potential and that they can pass that potential onto their off-spring. However, you do have some off results. A regular doctor wouldn't have caught them. You have a good memory, don't you?" he asked.

Pepper nodded. Sometimes, she wished she could forget, like Maria as she died.

"Yes, most would refer to it as photographic memory. It probably comes in handy a lot working with Stark," McCoy continued. She nodded again. This was true. "Next month, you turn forty-three. Typically, after thirty-five or forty, the human body starts deteriorating. Reading glasses are necessary. Cancer becomes more common. Memory becomes harder. Men and women find it harder and harder to conceive a child. Most doctors would think of you as a folly. You're over forty and this would be your first pregnancy but here's the thing. Mystique's powers allow for regeneration as well as transformation. How old do I look?"

Pepper studied his face covered in blue fur and the blue eyes almost hidden.

"Fifty?" she guessed.

"Seventy-six," he revealed and she didn't hide her surprise. "When I was young and naive, I wanted to fix my differences. I thought Mystique's blood was the key. Instead, it made me into this and gave me a longer life span. Your blood and internal organs share this as well. You're physically more like a twenty-five or thirty year old."

There it was then, she was a mutant. She just hadn't known it.

"What exactly-" she started and had to pause in order to form the words that usually came so naturally to her. "What exactly does that mean for me? What's going to happen?"

"Barring anything unnatural which is a real possibility in lives like ours, you could easily live to be a hundred or more. You also shouldn't have any problems carrying a child for Kurt or even your own in the future," Hank explained.

She had sort of ignored the truth about her age in that respect. She had made her peace that she probably wouldn't be a mother but always kept a small hope that it would still happen despite what the calendar said. Now age wasn't an issue. There was something else to think about.

"You said that her blood made you blue and she's blue and Kurt's blue. How am I not? Do I have that gene?" Pepper asked. Things were getting better but children were still cruel.

"You're a carrier, Pepper. You have recessive mutant genes that are masked by your father's dominant traits" he answered.

This confirmed that her father was definitely not a mutant. How did that even happen? She decided she needed to focus on the present for now.

"And walk me through this process about carrying their baby..."

There had been too much radio silence. Natasha met Clint at their rendezvous point.

"Have you heard from Sitwell?" she asked and Clint shook his head. "Something's wrong."

She hid the evidence bag with the gloves down her cleavage and took out a small pistol. Clint did the same with his weapon as they opened the door to the room that Sitwell was using. The back door was propped open and they nodded at each other before bursting through it into the night outside. It was drizzling.

As soon as they exited, a woman screamed. Sitwell was busy tying an unconscious man. Natasha put her gun away and Clint followed her lead.

"He beat him up! He beat him all up for me! Like a superhero or something, I never had that before," the lady babbled. There was dried blood on her lips and cheek. Natasha also noticed multiple track marks on her arms and her clothes were unkempt.

"He was going to kill her," Sitwell explained as he stood up. Then, he went over to the woman and gave her a hundred dollar bill. "Get a room tonight."

She nodded but Natasha didn't believe her. They went back inside and closed the door.

"She was lucky that you had your smoke break right then, but you know she's going to spend it all on drugs," Clint commented.

"Maybe, maybe not...I can pretend. Did you get the prints?" Sitwell asked. Natasha reached down and pulled out the bag, handing it to him. "Let's hope that was the hard part."

"So, Thor, when your brother's blue like that, does it stay the same or...?"

Tony punctuated his question with a sound and a gesture of something becoming smaller.

"Because you know the cold can cause shrinkage issues," Tony continued.

"What is your preoccupation with my brother and his genitalia? You weren't even present," Thor complained.

Other people had seen Loki naked? Tony would have to investigate that.

"It's because he's not getting any so he's horny," Wanda spoke as she sat on the couch at Stark Tower. Tony glared at her. "It's true though. Everyone knows Pepper wanted a break and you haven't been with anyone else."

"You're talking about it, too. Maybe you're also 'horny'," Tony retorted.

"Maybe I am and I'm just more reserved about it," Wanda replied back.

"Careful, he might take that as a challenge," Sam warned with a smile and cracked open a beer.

"He won't, he's still too hung up on Pepper," Wanda told him. Tony thought about arguing back but she was right. Even still being friends, he felt a little lost without her being the first and last thing he saw each day.

Almost as if to further prove her point, Pepper walked in.

"Tony, we need to talk."

When he was younger, he would have ignored this in favor of chatting with Wanda or the guys some more. Now, he saw the expression on her face and went to her without another word. He walked her to the elevator and they went to his floor. It used to be their floor but now she insisted on a separate one. He waited for her to explain as they walked onto the carpet.

"Kurt asked me to be the surrogate for him and his wife," Pepper revealed.

"But that would mean that you would be pregnant with their kid for nine months," Tony said, trying to understand.

"Yes, if I decided to, you would have to step up more with the company," she spoke. It was clinical and logical yet impulsive. It was all wrong. There was something else at play.

"Why?"

"Why? Because they're good people and I could do this for them and-"

As she was talking, he suddenly realized.

"It won't bring her back," he stated, cutting her off.

"Who?"

"Maria, she'll still be dead if you do this and it won't make you feel better. It's still going to hurt," Tony said. Her blue eyes glared at him.

"This isn't about that," she retorted with too much anger for him not to be right at least a little bit.

"It is and have you thought about afterwards? You'll spend nine months getting attached to this baby and then giving it away to their real parents. Do any of us really have any idea how that feels? None of us have given up a baby for adoption and it's not like you can ask Mystique," Tony argued. He hated being the rational one. Pepper was supposed to be the rational one. Even scarier was the expression on her face. It was the one she had when she had an idea and probably one he wouldn't like.

"I think I do know someone actually," Pepper stated and walked swiftly for the elevator. Tony watched her leave.

Pepper knocked on the door, not really expecting an answer. Then, she let herself in with the key that Phil had given her.

"He's not here so I see no reason why you should be," Loki complained from the couch.

"Funny, the legends always describe you as eternally talkative," Pepper pointed out.

"The legends are little more than fairy tales. I doubt there is much if any that is correct in them," he retorted back.

"But they do mention Sleipnir and you confirmed his existence," she reminded him. He relaxed against the couch.

"So, this is your reason for coming. You wish to speak about my son," Loki guessed.

"I'm considering carrying a baby for my brother. Tony thinks it's just because of what happened with Maria and that I don't fully understand how I'll be giving the baby up," she explained. His green eyes were pensive and he was silent a moment.

"You don't. You can't until that moment. Most of the stories are correct about Sleipnir," he confirmed and laughed. It was hollow and seemed out of habit. "I felt like I deserved it. I had failed them so I deserved every pain and discomfort. I was too young to know better and too young to really care for him once he was born. I hadn't a clue how to care for an infant, much less a colt. For his sake, I gave him over to our horse master. I grew older, Balder was born and I felt like I could be responsible but the second time, I knew something was wrong. The baby felt too different. There were no legs. When Jörmungandr was born, he was declared a monster, pulled from my arms and cast into the sea. Time passed and I decided to try again. This was my favorite pregnancy. His fur tickled and made me laugh. This time, Odin said that the Midgardians had a prophecy that Fenrir would help bring about Ragnarok and I could not keep him. He was stolen from me, too."

She'd never thought about the tales that way. They always made him seem accepting or pleased with not having to raise them himself.

"And the others from the tales? Hel and the children with Sigyn?" Pepper asked. Loki shook his head.

"Fairy tales, I have no daughter, only sons and I have met no Sigyn," he explained.

"Loki, I'm-"

"Sorry? You feel sorry for the monster? That's all I ever was and all I'll ever be, that's why my three children could never be with me," he spat.

"Loki, it doesn't have to be that way," she said. Loki stood up in an instant. His green eyes were blazing.

"Get out! You have your answer. Get out!" he commanded, thrust his hand towards the door and it slammed open. She took her leave before Loki could become more violent.

Still, he had convinced her of things. It turned out Tony was right. She had felt like she deserved real punishment for Maria's death even if she hadn't been the one to pull the actual trigger.

Maybe bringing a new life into the world would sort of cancel things out or help even the score.

She still couldn't imagine how attached she could get to the baby but it would be her niece or nephew. Pepper would always be a part of their lives.

Six days had passed since he had last seen New York. Clint literally jumped onto the Quintjet that was about to take off from the Helicarrier. He had finished his debriefing and medical. Now they were free to leave. Six days was far too long to be away from his little boy especially when he wasn't allowed to contact anyone.

Then, he noticed Jess strapped in already.

"Where's Ben?" he asked.

"With Vange," she explained. "I haven't seen him or heard from him in three days. I'm going crazy."

"Me too, and it's been six," Clint reminded her.

"Pepper has an announcement to make at Stark Tower so I've arranged for Vange and Ben to meet you there," Phil explained, walking onto the plane and grabbing onto an overhead loop.

"Pepper?" Jess asked. Clint shrugged as did Steve, Natasha and Sitwell.

"I don't even know what it's about," Phil said. This was the weirdest part. Phil and Pepper seemed to be each other's biggest confidants. His curiosity grew as they reached New York and rode to the Tower. Was Pepper pregnant?

He tried to imagine Tony with a kid. He did alright with Ben but...

The elevator doors opened and he heard his son's voice, "Mommy! Daddy!"

He and Jess both hugged his little body.

"You know we hate leaving you," Jess told him and kissed his cheek.

"Then don't," Ben told them.

"We have to," Clint said.

"Why?" the boy asked.

Jess and Clint looked at each other.

"Because we have to save the world from bad guys who want to destroy everything and hurt little boys like you," she explained.

"That not nice," Ben stated.

"It's not so we stop them," Clint said. "Do you believe us now that we don't like leaving you?"

"I guess," Ben said. Jess took him in her arms.

"But you were here with Mimi and you love her, too, right?" she asked.

"Course I do," he agreed and Vange kissed the top of his head before embracing Jess.

Tasha had a strange expression.

"What is it?" Clint asked.

"I heard something. Steve did, too, but we can't see anything," she explained.

"Everyone, I'm glad you came," Pepper spoke in her authoritarian voice. Everyone watched her to see what it could be."I know I'm not one for announcements or big speeches. That's Tony's department, but you're like family and as such, I wanted you to know that I'm going to be a surrogate for my brother and his wife."

"When?" Darcy asked.

"Possibly now? They implanted the embryo this morning, just one since I've never done this before," Pepper explained.

There was a pop and Loki appeared in the middle of the room.

"Let me be the first to congratulate you," he announced and held out his hand. Clint mentally told her not to do it.

After some hesitation, Pepper took his hand and shook it.

"I wish you much success," he said and disappeared.

"I don't like it. He's up to something," Bruce spoke. Even Thor looked contemplative.

"I'll have JARVIS e extra vigilant about anything odd although thanks for the warning that he was here," Tony growled.

"My programming does have limitations, sir," the computer replied.

"But the pregnancy shouldn't affect my duties too much although Tony will have to do more with the company," Pepper stated. Jess laughed. Everyone looked at her.

"Sorry, but..." Jess had to pause because she was still laughing. "That's what we all say.'It won't affect me. I'm not going to annoy everyone with photos of my kid. I'm going to be the cool mom.' It doesn't work that way. Pregnancy kicks your butt. It just does and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm not saying it's not worth it because he is but-"

Jess started for the elevator.

"Call me when you start having the heartburn and hemorrhoids and constipation and you realize it's not as easy as you thought," she said, making some of the male members squirm and shrink back in their seats. Cage looked particularly mortified. Pepper just stood there in shock.

Vange followed after Jess, and then stopped at Clint.

"You want to eat dinner with us tonight? Chinese?" she asked and nodded toward the elevator with Jess and Ben. Clint smiled back and the four of them went down together.


	14. The One with the Embryos

The One with the Embryos

August 15, 2016

"Miss Potts, I really must insist on you seeing a doctor," said Jarvis. Pepper rolled her eyes, knowing the artificial entity would recognize it.

"I'm fine," she told him.

"Miss Potts, you don't seem fine at all between the fatigue and vomiting. You also appear to have gained several pounds," Jarvis argued.

"Jarvis! You are worse than Tony!" Pepper yelled at him.

"Did I hear my name?" Tony asked, walking in.

"Tell Jarvis to leave me alone."

"Sure, we can talk about that but I think he does have a point. When's your next doctor's appointment?" Tony asked.

"Next week is when we confirm everything," Pepper told him. There didn't need to be much confirming on her end. Jarvis was right that she had all the signs already and it had only been two weeks! Pepper thought she should have had more time than that.

Then, Bruce walked in.

"Jarvis told me to come here, said I was needed?" Bruce asked, confused.

"No," said Pepper at the same time that Tony said, "Yes."

Tony gave her a look.

"Humor me. As your boss, I can't have you over-estimating your current abilities," Tony spoke. This ignored all the times that Tony ignored Pepper's questions when he was sick.

"Fine," she stated. "But I'm not doing anything invasive. You'll just have to make do."

"I'm sure we've given Bruce beyond state of the art equipment for that," Tony told her.

"Uh...this isn't my area of expertise. I haven't even delivered a baby since they pulled me out of India," Bruce pointed out. Tony waved him off.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, just like falling off a bike," he said. Pepper rolled her eyes once again.

"And I don't want you there...hovering," she said. There was a brief test of wills as Tony's brown eyes narrowed.

"Fine, I still expect to hear details from one of you afterwards," he agreed and she nodded.

"Shall we?" Bruce asked, offering his arm and trying to act like it was a simple dinner date or something. As soon as the elevator doors closed, she found herself worrying. She was definitely pregnant, wasn't she? Would there be some other reason why she was having all these symptoms and so early? Was something wrong?

They rode in silence down to the medical floor. It was deserted at the moment; unneeded. She walked to the room with the sonogram equipment and Bruce followed.

"You'll have to-" he cut off and motioned to his abdomen. She stripped down to her undergarments and lay back in the chair. The sonogram machine had been updated. She didn't recognize it.

"This acts more like a scanner but it should be safe for the baby," Bruce explained. Pepper resisted a laugh. One problem with having the latest technology was that it was usually untested.

He waved it over her and an image began to appear on the 3D projector beside him and above her. Bruce waved away different internal organs until all they saw were her reproductive parts. It was a little weird seeing herself so detailed.

"What are those three dots?" Pepper asked at the orange objects that almost looked like circles.

"Uh...didn't you say that Hank only implanted one embryo? Because usually, they implant three just to be sure that one of them will take," Bruce clarified. Pepper didn't like his expression.

"Yeah, he said it would be safer and easier on me that way. He was sure from his methods that one would be enough," Pepper confirmed.

"Well, now there's three which can happen. It would have still been possible for the cells to divide like that. It could just be coincidence or it could be-"

"Loki," Pepper confirmed.

"Yeah, I wouldn't recommend making friends with that guy. You never know what might happen," Bruce spoke. "If he wanted mischief, two seems bad enough but three?"

Three was the only thing in this mess that now made sense to her.

"His kids," she began to explain.

"He has kids?" Bruce asked in utter disbelief.

"The mythological Loki has countless children by all species. The Loki we know only had three and he had to give them all up at birth. He's still upset about it," Pepper continued.

"Obviously...wow," he said. "This isn't going to be easy."

"Ya think," Pepper growled at him. "Sorry."

"No, it's totally understandable. We don't have to tell Tony about this yet. I will tell him that I think you need an assistant as soon as possible," Bruce told her.

Three babies, it still seemed unreal but would she have enough to keep the assistant? Tony was so particular about whom he would allow around him and he'd never want anyone else to know that it was part of how he coped with things. She would have to find a new position for them afterwards or maybe she could find an intern for the rest of the school year.

"I also don't want to tell him just yet because with normal pregnancies, many don't survive the first trimester. We don't know if Loki's tampering extends to that or not," Bruce explained.

Her hand went to her belly. She was going to do all she could to protect them but this was going to be really difficult. There was only one other person to trust.

As she rode up the elevator to her floor, Pepper made plans to visit Jess.

"Director Fury," Phil greeted as Nick came in and shut the door behind him.

"Parker is about to start university," Fury stated and Phil nodded. "I know you had planned on your Parker duties being lessened but I want you there."

"How?" Phil asked. "They don't typically have principals."

"No, but they do require adjuncts," he answered.

Surely, he wasn't serious.

"All they require is a college degree which you have and a couple of classes a week. You'll have an office on campus which will be more convenient if he's having a problem and I'll arrange your schedule to make it work," Nick continued.

This was a very bad idea.

"I've never taught. My degree was thirty years ago and I'm not going to know anyone there. It's not a good cover," Phil pointed out.

"Jazmin still teaches there. She could help," Nick suggested.

"Jazmin still thinks Jasper just works for the FBI and we've tried very hard to keep it that way," Phil argued.

"You can explain to her how you're trying something different," Nick said and opened the door. "Make it work."

"Any tips on dealing with Jessica? Jones, I mean," Danny asked.

Clint felt weird. However, he had to admit that not only was he twice the other man's age but the only Avenger who was a father. He also remembered what it was like traveling with the carnival.

"Don't piss her off. At any cost, do not piss her off. It's like PMS but all the time. Get her a gift just because, she'll like that, like a spa day or something," Clint suggested.

"Spa? I'm not sure she's that kind of girl," Danny protested.

"When they're pregnant, they all become that kind of girl but have Cage give it to her. It'll make him look good. Just be extra nice to her and don't mention anything about her weight," Clint continued. "And be careful about mentioning her appearance at all; sometimes that can backfire."

"Thanks, man," Danny said with an enthusiastic nod and rushed out of the room.

"What a catch. How is it that you're not married?" Wanda asked from her chair.

"Thanks," he said before realizing she was being sarcastic. He gave her a glare with his blue eyes. "I know women when it counts, or was that faking?"

He watched her look thoughtful for a minute and reply, "No, it wasn't. How about I make us some drinks? My sister canceled on me."

"Or I know a place, they even have onion rings," Clint suggested.

"You're not coming anywhere near me with onion breath but sure," she agreed and stood up.

Darcy decided to knock once and then walk in. You found more interesting stuff that way, like Agent Pollock tied up in nothing but women's underwear. She gave Claire a whole bag of chocolate for that one.

Sadly, Coulson was just reading files. However, she could tell he was troubled by something.

"What's wrong?" Darcy asked.

"I will be thrust into the world of academia. Fury insists on me being an adjunct professor at Parker's university," he explained.

"That sucks," she said as she sunk down into a chair. "What would you even teach? How to sneak up on people and talk in a monotone no matter what's happening?"

"I'm not sure, other than you, who would actually be interested in that class. No, I'll be teaching what my degree is actually in," Coulson said.

Darcy's green eyes widened and she exclaimed, "You mean there actually is a school that offers underwater basket weaving? Because I looked everywhere."

"No, I went for the most boring subject I could think of...accounting," he said. She couldn't help but laughing.

"I know. It does help with forms and taxes but..." he trailed off and shrugged.

"I could get you a coke or a beer or-"

"Or dinner, this totally works, too," Darcy spoke as they slid into a booth in the very old tavern. It was plain that Darcy was caught up on her work and bored. This never amounted to anything good so the faster that Phil could get her off the Helicarrier, the better.

"The owner is a bit of a fanboy so he likes having us around and makes sure we have our privacy," he explained.

"Nice," she said, looking around at the mix of trendy and antique.

"How's Jones coming along?" Phil asked. There needed to be a clear plan for her before the press realized Pepper Potts was pregnant. None of them would be satisfied the kid wasn't the Stark heir until it was born and maybe not even then.

"She wanted to just post the baby's first photo on Facebook. I'm trying to talk her into doing an exclusive. She'd make more money that way and babies are expensive. Now Avengers are paid well-"

"But she's not an Avenger," he reminded her.

"Exactly," she said with a slight triumph. Cage was providing for the baby as well but he saw her point.

"I'll look into it. What else?" Phil asked. She adjusted her glasses and pushed her brown hair back.

"MTV won't stop bugging me. To the public eye, all the Avengers appear single so they want a dating show out of it," she told him. He grimaced.

"None of them are going to go for that," he commented.

"I know! Tony is too true to Pepper and Thor..."

Darcy paused as if she wasn't supposed to say what she going to say next. He was a little amazed at it happening.

"I love Thor. I love Darcy but I'm a little tired of this on-again, off-again...I liked Maria, too but..."

"She's never really dealt with what happened to her in Asgard and London, has she?" Phil asked. She shook her head. The follow-up question was left unsaid: Had Darcy ever dealt with that?

Phil had a feeling she hadn't but she had changed. He wouldn't have imagined the graduate student complaining about her iPod would now be making high marks in all of her SHIELD training classes. A waitress came over and discussed the few specialties that the Old Haunt offered since Darcy was new. Then, she left with their orders.

"Maybe we could sell them on a Day in the Life of...instead. In 2003, Bravo made a series called _The It Factor_ where each episode followed an up and coming actor trying to make it. We could do an episode featuring each, or each that we can convince into doing it," Phil amended.

"You're being a human IMDB of reality TV is kind of scary sometimes, but I have an idea," Darcy announced. "Even though she's an Avenger, nobody really knows Bobbi that well yet. We change her hair and pass her off as a new person, then have her date Steve for the show."

"But the truth will come out eventually..."

"That's the beauty part. It'll cause a huge scandal. MTV will be mad at us. They'll cancel the series and black-list us for a bit," she explained.

"Excellent," he complimented and she smiled even more.

"Why is she called Mockingbird?" Darcy asked.

"I think she came up with that one herself," he told her. The waitress had come back with drinks. Phil took his Sam Adams while Darcy had a Mojito.

"Because Hawkeye and Black Widow, now those are cool names. Mockingbird is kind of..."

"It is easier when the press comes up with them and they always do that for villains," Phil spoke before thanking the waitress. He realized his mistake a second later when Darcy appeared confused as the other woman left.

"But only Black Widow was a bad guy," she said.

They now redacted that portion of Clint's file for everyone below Level Eight clearance. He'd forgotten.

"No, Barton was, too," Phil admitted. It would be better in the long run, less complaining from her about not being told everything.

"So, if Barton took in Romanov, who took in Barton?" Darcy asked.

"I did."

"But you were trained for SHIELD at the same time, everyone knows that," she pointed out.

"I wasn't part of SHIELD yet," he confirmed, knowing it didn't really clear anything up. At the time, he had made a different call; one that his superiors didn't appreciate and that fate would repay later with Barton and Romanov.

"Ooh, speaking of Barton, we might have two more Avengers not so unattached," she said, looking at something behind them. Phil turned around to see Clint and Wanda in a booth. They were talking and laughing.


	15. The One Where They're Going to Party

Title: Friends to the End: The One Where They're Going to Party  
Author: Ericadawn16  
Prompt: The wonderful mash-up of Friends and Avengers  
Character/Pairing(s): Clint/Jessica Drew, Jessica Drew/Vange Whedon, Tony/Pepper, Phil/Clint, Clint/Natasha, Clint/?, Natasha/?  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: Slash, lots of slash, mild language  
Spoilers: a few references here and there, nothing big  
Summary: It's New Year's Eve. Kurt and Amanda give Pepper a gift, the boys go on an epic party spree, Pepper confronts Natasha, Natasha confronts Loki, Rhodey has big news and Darcy learns about SWORD.  
Beta: HUGE Thanks to lavendergaia and Valoscope

LiveJournal: Big thanks to ragnarok_08 and i_llbedammned for their comments!

: Big thanks to Puella5639 for her review, THANK YOU to Deadly-Jabberwock, JimandArtie4ever, WhySoSerious1992, meowbooks for Favoriting and thank you to ohmycastiel and WhySoSerious1992 for putting it on Story Alert.

A03: Big thanks to ariadne83 and xenasoul for commenting and THANK YOU to Gypsylady, Wonkie, ariadne83, scarletsherlock, Amarin_Rose, nerdyheart15, pepgold, Valoscope and four others for leaving Kudos!

The One Where They're Going to Party

December 31, 2016

Pepper rubbed her stomach. It looked like it got bigger every day and it felt like it, too. All three triplets still lived. At least one had a tail just like Kurt. Otherwise, it was hard to see exactly what they would look like. They liked to move a lot especially during the exams. Rae put a comforting hand on her arm.

"We're going to make the most of our New Year's Eve, babies or not!" she declared.

"Yes!" Pepper agreed before adding, "Does it mean having to get off this couch?"

"Well, the party's upstairs..."

"Maybe Jarvis can just bring them downstairs?" Pepper suggested.

"I don't believe I'm allowed to do that, Miss Potts," Jarvis answered. "But there are five gentlemen at your door. Shall I let them in?"

"Yes!" said Rae before Pepper had a chance. "I want to see James."

The door opened and in walked Tony, Rhodey, Steve, Bruce and Thor in suits. Thor pulled at his like a child forced to dress up. Pepper tried to hide her laughter.

"See, I do clean up nice," Rhodey said and turned around for his wife.

"You should dress like this more often," she said and came closer. Then, she pulled him in for a kiss. Pepper looked away but she liked how much they were in love. She snuck a peek at Tony and he was watching them, too. Pepper wished she was ready to go back to that. What if she was never ready or it never went back to how it was?

"Why doesn't Johnny tell us where we're going?" Steve asked.

"Because that's part of what is going to make it epic. He promised up the best guy's night out of all time and that's what we'll have," Tony explained. Pepper smiled again. It was nice seeing a little bit of old Tony after everything. He stepped closer to her. "You'll be fine?"

"Of course, I have Jarvis and half the superheroes known to man," she replied.

"And a few that aren't. Okay, Johnny is being even more fashionably late than me, not acceptable," Tony complained.

Phil stepped into the elevator with Johnny Storm and a female teenager he wasn't familiar with.

"Coulson," Johnny acknowledged while ogling her, "Who's the Asian chick?"

Phil sighed and went for his taser. It always seemed faster and more effective than explaining sexism.

"Agent Coulson, you don't have to use the SL424 for me, or is it the 426? Either way, I can take care of myself," the young woman spoke up and held out her hand. "You must be Johnny Storm, my name's Janet van Dyne. I'm Pepper Potts' intern."

"Nice!" Johnny said and shook her hand. "I like your dress."

"College intern?" Phil asked since she seemed a little young.

"High school," she said proudly. In the blink of an eye, Johnny was leaning against the wall of the elevator opposite from Janet. "Also, I designed and made this dress myself."

"Why choose Miss Potts?" Phil asked.

"She's an exceptional business woman. She's also the closest you can get to Tony Stark on a regular basis. I want to learn all I can from both of them if I'm going to run my own business," she explained with a smile.

"And what would the business be in?" Phil asked.

"I haven't decided. I love fashion but I also love studying the biological effects of weaponized astroradiation," Janet spoke with a giddy enthusiasm.

"Stark Industries doesn't make weapons anymore," he pointed out.

"Except for his suit, I know but you guys do and plenty of others do. Is it true that Pym's lab has achieved the usage of negative muons in order to make a shrink ray?" she asked.

Phil was beginning to feel a little interrogated. Even Ben didn't ask this many questions in a row.

"I don't know," he admitted. Pym wasn't on his watch list. Johnny chuckled before commenting, "I've never heard that come from him before."

"Black Widow's stingers; are they simply miniaturization of your taser technology or is there more to it?" Janet asked.

"When you graduate college, you should come see me," Phil suggested.

"When I graduate college, I think you'll be seeing me," she said. Her brown eyes were brimming with confidence. She was a lot like Tony when they first met. "You have sisters, don't you?"

The elevator stopped and the doors opened.

"What makes you say that?" Phil asked as they stepped onto Pepper's floor.

"Sisters or daughters tend to make men more sensitive about women being treated right," Janet explained before discussing something with Pepper. After a couple of signatures, she looked again at Phil, saying, "You didn't answer my last question. I find that interesting."

Then, she disappeared into the elevator.

"She's really something, isn't she?" Pepper remarked.

"Yeah," Phil and Johnny agreed.

"Time to PARTY!" Johnny yelled and motioned for the elevator.

"You sure you don't want to come?" Tony asked, inclining his head towards Steve. It was tempting.

"No, I think I'm too old for that," Phil said. He was a bit surprised that Bruce had agreed. There must have been some cajoling on Tony's part. Tony shrugged and joined the others. They were waiting for the elevator to come back up as Phil went over to Pepper.

"Kurt and Amanda would like to see you. They're upstairs but I can have them come down," Phil told her.

"No, I should come up. Tony's been trying to program Jarvis to inform him about teleports inside Stark Tower but so far, it only works with Kurt when he really wanted it for Loki," Pepper explained and held up her hand. Phil helped her off the couch. It was still a little strange seeing her like this.

"We needed an excuse to go up there anyway," Rae told him.

Pepper made her way over to Kurt and his wife, Amanda. Rae went over to where the food lay. It did look good. She'd hit that later or go directly for the kitchen.

"Pepper! It's so good to see you," Kurt exclaimed and hugged her. It had only been a few days since their last prenatal exam together.

"Hello babies," Amanda spoke to her bump. "We're still so excited and pleased that you're doing this for us, but we wanted something to show our appreciation for you and it's not like you're wanting for anything..."

It was true that she was well off. Even estranged, Tony allowed her full use of his black AMEX.

"So, we thought, there are three babies and three of us. I would name the girl, Amanda will name the boy and you can name the second boy," Kurt said as his tail nervously waved behind him.

Pepper wasn't sure what to say.

"We won't accept 'no'," Kurt continued and Amanda nodded. "Tell us the name later."

They walked away, leaving Pepper stunned. She didn't have a list of baby names as some people seemed to and she felt a little bit weird about naming one of their babies. There was one name that came to mind; Maria. The baby was a boy though.

Tony's voice popped in her head, 'Tony makes a nice name'.

Oh god, I've internalized him, she thought.

"I could take this responsibility off your hands," Loki whispered. She was startled but relieved that he was physically there. Tony was enough for voices in her head.

"And what responsibility would that be?" she asked.

"The naming of the third infant," he answered.

She took a breath. Arguing with Loki took skill and she would need all her possible concentration.

"And what would you even name it?" she asked.

"Something nice and appropriate," he answered. She refrained from laughing.

"Like Loki?" Pepper asked.

"Perhaps although there can be none exactly like me," he answered with a grin.

"Although he possibly will be blue with the power to teleport as you do, maybe Loki would be the perfect name for a mere Midgardian and a mutant at that," she said, trying to twist the situation.

"No, I must insist that you not do that," he pleaded which made up her mind. They could call him by his middle name or a nickname or maybe call him Lucky.

"Loki it is then, we'll call him Loki Wagner," Pepper declared. Loki scowled. However, as he walked away, there was a certain spring in his step.

Who had actually won?

She needed to find Natasha.

Darcy liked getting to see this side of people. So often their lives were all about lying and cheating and killing people that it was nice to get dressed up for fun. There was an open bar, plenty of food and she was dancing with Natasha and Kitty. This was actual club dancing like she hadn't done in years where they weren't afraid to grab each other, grind and fling their hair wherever. Lavish party decorations surrounded them.

Then, she felt Natasha stop. She looked up to see Pepper in a designer maternity dress. Was there some kind of trouble? She pushed aside her dress to see her holstered phone but there were no missed messages. Natasha walked towards Pepper. Rogue came to take her dancing spot. There was an odd moment when Pepper and Rogue looked at each other.

Darcy broke it by turning around and pulling Rogue close to her. From her new angle, she saw Wanda and Clint sitting so close together that they were practically entwined. She should check up on Coulson later.

Pepper and Natasha walked to a darkened corner, passing Bobbi dancing with one of the newer SHIELD agents.

"I can't remember when the two of us last even talked," Pepper complained. Natasha's face seemed impassive as ever but she almost seemed nervous to the other woman.

"It's been busy," Natasha said. This was a definite lie. They were always busy except they had made time before. Pepper gave her a look, like she would give Tony in the same situation.

Natasha looked away before admitting, "I'm not good with...with pregnant people. I don't know what to say."

"What we talked about before," Pepper complained.

"But you're big now, you have people inside you and it's different," Natasha countered back.

"It doesn't have to be. Haven't you ever been around pregnant women before? Jess? Or back in Russia?" Pepper asked.

"I successfully avoided Jess most of the time. As for Russia, it was a liability unless the child could further their research. They frowned upon it," she explained. Pepper wondered if she had stumbled onto something she shouldn't have. There had been rumors that Natasha and the other girls had experiments and others things conducted on them. Maybe she couldn't even have children.

"I had a war of words with Loki and I think he won," Pepper admitted, trying to change the subject. "I thought I would be fine. I can handle Tony."

Natasha gave her a look.

"Tony is a cake-walk compared to Loki. It's why Tony is one of us and Loki is...a villain," she spoke.

"Forever? Weren't you a villain once?" Pepper asked.

"I reached the point where I wanted to change, it's obvious that he doesn't," Natasha explained.

"Pepper!" Rae called.

"I should go," Pepper said. Natasha nodded and they parted.

Natasha took a drink off a waiter's tray and drank part of it. She was relieved Pepper hadn't wanted her to touch her stomach or something. There was also that feeling of being watched so she wasn't entirely surprised when...

"So, I'm a villain?" Loki asked.

"I think you've made that pretty clear," she stated and held the glass back up to her mouth. The glass turned into a pretty brown and white snake. She laughed as it crawled along her arm. Loki scowled as though expecting a shriek. Didn't he know her better than that?

"Are you making a date for your midnight kiss?" she asked. Her blue eyes were mischievous.

"No," Loki spat. "Was that an offer?"

"Nope," she answered. "Why are you even here?"

"Even I must admit that Stark has one of the best selection of spirits in the realms," he replied. She smiled at a partially honest answer.

"You could always visit Thor and have them more than once a year," she pointed out.

"No, absolutely not," he spat.

He was already pissed off; she might as well go all the way. It was all too familiar.

"Because you still love him."

"NO! No, I do not! I don't!" he blustered worse than Ben trying to lie. Then, he disappeared.

Natasha frowned and studied her new pet. She should find a cage for him. Maybe she still had the one she used for her pet tree frog.

Hours passed and it was getting close to midnight. The epic guys' night out hadn't turned out exactly as planned. Actually, he had to admit that he was happy to be back at home although they had to use the helicopter since the cars wrapped around the blocks and people took up any space not used by vehicles.

"What did you do with my brother?" Sue Richards asked, charging up to them.

"We are not the ones to be upset with. It was your brother who decided he could out-drink Thor and Captain America. It can't be done. He's sleeping it off on your couch," Tony told her. "He also might not be wearing clothes."

She scowled but added, "That seems about normal, thanks."

With that, she left them and they went their separate ways except for Tony and Rhodey. For once, he didn't feel like having a drink.

Then, he saw Clint and Wanda running to the stage while Jess and Vange were also running from a different direction. Clint took the microphone.

"We have an announcement," he said.

"We have an announcement, too!" Jess squealed loudly enough to be heard in the microphone.

"We're engaged!" Clint said. Wanda beamed.

"We're engaged, too!" Jess squealed again. She and Vange held up their hands which now had diamond rings. Tony had the feeling that Clint hadn't thought of that. He watched them get off the stage and glowered.

"I don't like it," he declared.

"The fact that they've only been dating four months and it's sure to end in disaster, divorce or both?" Rhodey asked.

"Change, I don't like it. Why can't things just stay the same?" Tony asked. For a moment, Rhodey's brown eyes focused elsewhere.

"Katniss and Shelob are getting married again to other people. Pepper's pregnant, like hugely pregnant. She looks like she should be ready to pop any day but it's still like four months away. She still won't even kiss me. Cage is having a baby. I mean, he's practically a kid himself. I'm old enough to be his father," Tony said before pausing. He realized this was the crux of what had turned the evening so wrong. "I'm old. I don't want to be old. I hate being old but we were drinking and partying and...I just wanted to be home. Remember when we would go and do that shit for the whole weekend? No cares, no worries. What happened?"

"We grew up, Tony," Rhodey answered. He was so simple and matter of fact. Tony didn't want to hear that right now. He wanted his pity party.

"Can we stop that? I could get my scientists on it," he said. "We could have everything like it used to be, no more change."

Rhodey frowned and his expression was serious.

"What? What'd I say?" Tony asked.

"Rae and I are having a boy," he announced.

"What? When did that happen? You never even said she was pregnant," Tony pointed out.

"We wanted to wait until the first trimester was over. Then, I wanted to tell you in person," he explained. Tony hugged him hard.

"This calls for another celebration. We need to find some non-alcoholic...something, some champagne and find the girls," he declared.

"It's more change," Rhodey reminded him.

"Yeah, but this is good. I get to swoop in, spoil him and then leave without any of the actual responsibility," Tony explained. Rhodey laughed.

Darcy found Coulson buttoning his coat and preparing to leave.

"You're going to leave before midnight?" she asked.

"Yeah, Sif skipped out this year so..." he tried to joke.

"Maybe it's the perfect time to tell me about SWORD," she suggested. His blue eyes were thoughtful.

"Okay, but not here," Coulson agreed.

"My floor is just downstairs," she offered. Would he be fine with it? Finally, he nodded. They headed for the elevator and went in. "Yay, I never get people to come visit me! It's hard to get clearance and everyone else prefers their own floor. Jane comes but we're both so busy."

The elevator dinged and the doors opened.

"And we're here! My own private spot," she said, trying to see it through his eyes. It was her main living space so one whole wall was just her music collection; mostly vinyl but also a large quantity of CDS. Tony had teased her by buying her a handful of phonograph cylinders for Christmas. She had them displayed proudly on one shelf.

"Want anything?" she asked before heading into the kitchen.

"Sprite," he replied. She shrugged and made herself a mudslide. Then, they settled on the couch.

"You did well on the history of SHIELD exam so I presume you remember?"

"I remembered enough to do well," Darcy replied. "Then I felt I could forget everything."

"SHIELD was founded by Peggy Carter, Howard Stark, remaining members of the Howling Commandos, Nick Fury's father and assorted scientists. It was meant to combat everyone who tried to replicate the super soldier program, any other weird experiments and the reports of those born with super human talents. As time went on, they argued about how to treat such. SHIELD tended to neutralize problems and study them later. Many of the scientists and others wanted a more lenient approach. There was a schism and they founded their own organization, SWORD. Now it tends to deal more with aliens and things beyond our galaxy," Coulson explained.

Darcy tried to order her thoughts.

"I thought Thor and Loki were the furthest from our galaxy," she said, confused.

"No, there are lots of galaxies and beings but we really don't want Stark to know about interstellar travel. He doesn't know about our time machine either."

"We have a time machine?!" Darcy shrieked. "Why did no one tell me?"

"Because it's for emergencies only, Nathaniel Richards invented it fifty years ago," Coulson answered.

"Doesn't the fact that we were never able to see the Beatles in person constitute an emergency?" she asked. He hesitated which she viewed as a victory. "What's this about Nick Fury's father founding SHIELD? Does that make him a legacy then, like a fraternity?"

"There are a number of legacies as you put it. Nathaniel Richards is the father of Reed, Howard is Stark's father, Sitwell is the grandson of a Howling Commando and others I'm not at liberty to divulge at this time," he explained.

"Why?"

"Because not everyone knows their parents' involvement," Coulson answered. Immediately, she wanted to know who that included but knew he would never say...not yet.

"What about you?" she asked. He shook his head.

"No, they were just hard-working normal people," he told her.

Everywhere suddenly grew loud. Fireworks exploded and cheers reverberated.

"Must be midnight," Darcy commented.

"Yeah," Coulson agreed.

She leaned over and kissed his cheek which turned a bit red.


	16. The One with London

Title: Friends to the End: The One Where They're Going to Party  
Author: Ericadawn16  
Prompt: The wonderful mash-up of Friends and Avengers  
Character/Pairing(s): Clint/Jessica Drew, Jessica Drew/Vange Whedon, Tony/Pepper, Phil/Clint, Clint/Natasha, Clint/?, Natasha/?  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: Slash, lots of slash, mild language  
Spoilers: a few references here and there, nothing big  
Summary: Clint Barton and Wanda Frank are getting married in London. Almost everyone is there except for Pepper and Phil in New York. Loki is bored in London which coincides with Natasha being bored...  
Beta: HUGE Thanks to lavendergaia and Valoscope

Author Note 1: I'm sorry about it being so long since I posted. However, this is a very long chapter full of laughter and tears...hopefully.

Author Note 2: I will incorporate Phase 2 things that will make sense but other stuff I'm changing. For example, my Sharon Carter is very different than the usual Sharon Carter.

The One with London

March 29, 2017

Pepper started to laugh. She was looking at her tablet. Then, she threw the information up in the air in front of them.

"Avengers hit London," she read off one headline. "Here's most of them at the airport. More of them hitting Buckingham Palace. Johnny Storm annoying a palace guard. Meeting William and Kate...oh, Tony, why would you throw the future heir to the throne in the air like that. That kid does not look happy."

"Kid seems to be enjoying it here," Phil argued and threw up a .gif from his own tablet. The three year old was laughing and smiling. "Besides, he's done worse with Ben."

"That's true," Pepper admitted. "Sometimes, I'm thankful both for Ben being the first Avengers baby and that he wasn't normal. I'm not sure a regular baby could have survived some of that."

"I'm not sure any of them could have a 'normal' child," Phil argued. Clint was probably the most normal of the group and he was Ben's father. "But it's nice to see them enjoying themselves."

"You could have gone. I have JARVIS. Kurt's on high-alert. I don't need a babysitter," she said as she looked at the photo-shopped graphics. There appeared to be a whole meme of incorporating Doctor Who with the London photos.

"And watch Clint marry Wanda?" Phil asked. "I'll pass. Let them have their fun without me. Right now, the pre-wedding party should be in full swing."

"No bachelor party? No bachelorette party?" Pepper asked. He shook his head.

"They rented out a whole hotel; karaoke, band, food, you name it without having to leave for anything. Supposedly, it'll cut down on the paparazzi," he explained. She rolled her eyes.

"It'll go wrong somehow."

"Steve!" Peggy greeted. He looked up and tried to hide his surprise. Peggy looked still older than the last time they had seen each other a year or so before. They hugged and kissed each other on the cheek.

"I thought I would finally meet Bobbi," she said. Steve shook his head.

"We aren't together anymore. She said things were moving too fast and..."

He trailed off but Peggy was nodding in understanding.

"I'm sorry," she uttered. He gave a curt nod. "Come on, I have so much to show you."

He held out the door, opened an umbrella and they left the hotel lobby.

"Any word on Jessica and Luke yet?" Pepper asked. She'd seen nothing on her tablet since yesterday when they went to Mount Sinai yesterday when the contractions started.

"No, but it's her first one so it could be a while yet," Phil explained. "They still haven't decided how they'll announce it to the public other than not letting the Daily Bugle have anything."

"After the way they treated Peter and everyone else, I wouldn't let them have anything either," she spat. "I'm glad Leila quit them."

Then, she caught another photo on her dash and threw it up. It was a familiar black haired woman by a motorcycle.

"Why's Loki going?" Pepper asked.

"Same reason he does anything nowadays...he's bored and wants a change of scenery," Phil told her.

"He better hope they don't remember the last time he was in London," she said. "Or he better stay in his female form."

Loki hurried through the hotel doors and smoothed his jacket. After the crowd outside watched Captain America and the older lady leave, they had recognized him and started throwing things. Most of the items he had transfigured or disintegrated but they were too numerous. He scowled at a ketchup stain before making it disappear. However, he was still being watched.

He looked up to see Romanov smirking. She was going to pay for that.

Loki sat on a couch and pulled out his phone. He had a few more days before SHIELD discovered the number and he had to dispose of it. Eventually, the right opportunity came. Romanov went to enter one of the large meeting rooms. Loki held the door shut just enough that she had to struggle. When someone was about to open it from the other side, he let go. The force of Natasha's strength, plus the second person, made the door crash into her face. He hadn't heard the crack but blood began to run down. Her nose was broken. He made eye contact with her and she glared at him before running off. Perhaps they would meet up again.

Natasha decided to wait it out. She'd had broken noses before and it didn't seem too bad. Instead, she waited. Loki was watching her. He expected some sort of retribution but she doubted he would guess which form it would take.

To be honest, it was part retribution and part test to see what he would do.

The hotel employee went up to the microphone. He smoothed his jacket, slicked back his hair and announced from a card, "Loki Laufeyson, you're up."

She looked at Loki who frowned.

"Is there a Mr. Laufeyson here? Singing 'The Supermen'?" the man asked. "You have five minutes before we call the next name on the list."

Loki stood up. For a moment, she thought he might do it. Then, he left the room. In the corner, Charles watched him go. Then, his blue eyes settled on her. He knew, naturally. His gaze was uncomfortable and part of her couldn't help wondering what Loki's next move would be.

She left the room, too.

"My father hates you," Wanda announced. Clint nodded. He had assumed that.

"He kind of hates everyone especially humans, right?" he clarified.

"To an extent I suppose you could say he hates everyone he didn't father, but he really hates you," she stated. He nodded again; unsure about what he was supposed to say to that. "I just thought you should know."

He took her hand and grasped it.

"Do you think we're just being insane?" Wanda asked. "It being so fast and all?"

"No, it'll be fine," he insisted.

"So, you're not still in love with Coulson? Just a little?" she asked. Was there a right answer there?

"I suppose a little but the same way I love Nat. We've just been through too much together not to have that but I love you most," Clint insisted.

"Good then," she said and started kissing his lips.

"I was a less savory person once," Jean spoke before drinking her wine. "Scott and I still have issues."

"And you?" Natasha asked. The other's green eyes were downcast for an instant.

"Well, you never forget. You never forget how good it felt at the time, how powerful you were," Jean whispered and downed the rest of the glass. She held it up for another and a waiter approached them. Natasha tried not to think about how true her words were. Then, the waiter stumbled. The entire tray of full wineglasses felt on Natasha; drenching her black dress and ruining her hair. There were shards that hit the exposed parts of her feet. Jean gasped. Natasha laughed and shook her head.

"I'm so sorry, so very sorry. Please don't kill me," the waiter begged as he picked up the pieces.

"I have to go," she said to Jean. She stood up and saw Loki's reflection smirking in a mirror. She was going to get even.

"Ben's been outed!" Pepper yelled. Phil wasn't sure what she meant for an almost three year old so he ran in with his sandwich plate from the kitchen they kept on the communal floor of Avengers Tower.

In the air was a clip of little Ben flying to the delight of London children his own age. It looked like they were at the zoo. His mothers were off to the side in sunglasses.

"What do the comments say?" he asked, wondering if Darcy had seen it, too. He'd told her to relax and have fun.

"'Hawkboy', 'Eaglet', 'Spiderling', 'Peter Pan', 'too cute', 'oh damn' and 'This further proof that they're all abominations and should be stopped,''' Pepper read. At least most of them were positive. Phil tried to ignore the bad press but it was still hard to see and hear how cruel people could be to a little boy. At least they could protect him and keep him a little boy unlike how society had failed Clint.

"The paparazzi are never going to leave him alone now," he hissed. It was a little surprising they hadn't created and agreed on a nickname for him yet.

"Nope," Pepper agreed. "The Richards already have to home-school Franklin and Valeria. I thought maybe Ben could have some hope of a normal life."

She was rubbing her stomach and he knew she was thinking about the triplets she carried for her half-brother and his wife. They would have it worse than Ben and the Reeds if they took after Kurt at all.

"They'll figure out something," he tried to assure her. "At least Peter Pan is an appropriate literary reference for London and I'm sure they're having a blast at the hotel."

Loki considered letting his guard down; maybe finding himself a distraction to take to one of the beds upstairs. The level of inebriation would make this plan very easy. If that failed, he could watch Game of Thrones.

If only he wasn't still curious about Romanov and what she might be planning. She would be planning something. They had come too far to simply stop now.

Then, the girl had appeared. She had literally appeared out of nowhere. He glared at the small child with bright blue eyes and blond hair done up in a ponytail. Mortals had such strange names for things.

"Hi," she said with a smile.

He wouldn't greet her back. He would refuse.

"Hi," she repeated and was joined by two boys. The older boy appeared just as she had while the younger flew in. Although all three had blond hair and blue eyes, he recognized the youngest. It was Ben Barton.

"Hi," said all three children.

"Hello," he greeted back. Romanov had a hand in this. He had no doubt of that.

"Is it true that you turn blue like Mr. Wagner?" the oldest boy asked.

He hesitated although he was so tempted to answer, to do whatever they wanted. Damn Romanov for figuring out the best secret weapon.

"My name is Valeria. Uncle Doom named me," the girl announced with a smile and held out her hand. It was the Richards children. He was amused by how she referred to Victor von Doom as 'Uncle'. Most of the Avengers referred to him as 'the asshole'.

"Loki," he said and shook her hand. "Now, you'll be running along?"

All three shook their head.

"Aunt Tasha said stay," Ben spoke. Loki smiled. There was more of a plan at work than he had assumed.

"Forever?" he asked.

"No, she said to stay until you gave us candy," Franklin explained.

"Candy!" Valeria screamed.

"Heh," said Loki. The request seemed simple enough. He gave them each a water glass full of candy but Ben paused before leaving.

"You sang to me," he stated.

"Me? I think you're mistaken," Loki insisted.

"You lie," Ben argued.

"That's what I'm known for," Loki admitted and walked away from him.

Pepper finished off Phil's sandwich. Then, she rubbed her huge belly. Sometimes, she felt like she was a belly with a mouth and legs. A normal pregnancy would mean two more months but triplets meant it could be any moment. They were moving as much as they could in their cramped environment. She tried to tell herself that she didn't need to pee yet again.

"Danielle Cage!" Phil announced from his phone. "Seven pounds, six ounces, seventeen inches. No picture yet and they're still deciding on what to do."

Pepper laughed.

"I wish I could have seen Daniel's face when they told him," she said. Phil grinned.

Natasha swirled the stick in her drink while pretending not to see Loki walking up to her. While he would never admit it, Loki did have a knack for kids. She was still learning. It felt weird to be around them because she didn't understand them. Their world was foreign to her.

"We need to talk," Loki said, then grabbed her arm and their surroundings disappeared. She punched him as they reappeared in a room upstairs.

"Never punch someone in the middle of a teleportation," Loki hissed.

"Then don't take me without my permission," she spat back.

"What bothers you so much about me? Does the lady protest too much?" he asked.

"You wish. Should you even have to ask after almost ruining my planet multiple times, possessing my best friend, trying to kill my other best friend, breaking my nose, and all that hurly-burly that you do?"

"You bested me at my own game, broke my wormhole and took advantage of my impaired mental capacities to force me naked in front of your friends. I would call us even so there is something more than that," he argued.

He was right and she hated that.

"You act like you're the only one to find out their whole life was a lie and you know you're not," Natasha spoke before adding, "Or did Barton not actually tell you everything?"

Loki frowned but nodded. Did he really understand or was he just humoring her?

"I feel our energies would be better used together on others in this hotel," Loki suggested.

It would be a lot more fun to do this to other people. Still, she'd keep her eye on Loki.

"Agreed," she said. "Be careful about Darcy or she'll want in on it."

Loki nodded. Darcy was nice but this was delicate work. She didn't want an amateur with them.

"Did your dash just get hijacked?" Pepper asked, looking at her tablet at Avengers Tower.

"If you mean it's now all about Susan Bishop's engagement, then yes," Phil told her. There were some Avengers here and there but the young socialite's dating life was the majority of news at that moment. There were photos of her with the fiancé, with her father, baby photos...

"Doesn't she have a younger sister?" Phil asked.

"Yes, Katherine Bishop but I haven't seen anything about her in months except a charity event now and then. I don't think the paparazzo even bothers to follow her anymore," she explained.

It was probably better for her that way.

"He can't recognize us," Natasha reminded him.

"I know that," Loki snapped. "Come."

He pointed to a full length mirror and she studied their reflections. Both were nothing like themselves. They were both made up to women who were barely legal with a large bust on the verge of bursting out. They were both also blonde.

"Perfect," she declared and they went to find him.

Johnny Storm was talking on his cell phone until they approached.

"I gotta go," he said in haste and hung up. He smiled a big toothy grin and told them, "Hello ladies."

"We're such big fans!" Loki said.

"Really?" Johnny asked in what appeared to be his best seductive voice. Natasha tried not to roll her eyes.

"Oh yes," Natasha confirmed.

"Are you ever in New York? Maybe I could arrange a private tour of the Baxter Building," Johnny suggested. Yep, the bait had gone on long enough, time for the good part.

"Ooh, could you introduce us to Ben Grimm? He's our favorite," Loki told him.

"He's so hot! We just want to have sex with him!" Natasha declared.

"Is his penis as big as the rest of him?" Loki asked.

Johnny's face fell. You could literally watch as his smile turned into a frown while they talked.

"I...I have to go," he announced and left them. They took off in a different direction. As soon as they were alone, Loki began to chuckle. It was an honest glee that she didn't remember hearing before and it allowed her to join in. It had been masterful. Loki waved his hand and they changed back into their old appearances. She even still had the partially broken nose.

"What's next?" Natasha asked.

"Did you ever just assume that you and Clint would end up together?" Pepper asked. Phil was silent a moment.

"Maybe a little. It's really not good to assume anything in our line of work," he told her. She gave him her patented glare. It was the one she gave Tony. He sighed.

"Fine, I may sometimes have fantasies about a deserted beach and just the two of us. We had our problems just like any couple but when we didn't, it was..." he paused before continuing, "It was nice."

Pepper grinned.

"You should go to London," she suggested once again. "Tony's jet would only take a few hours."

"What would that even accomplish?" Phil asked.

"You would both know how you really feel and you wouldn't have that regret hanging over you forever," Pepper told him. "I'm also being a little bit selfish and trying to preempt seeing you mope because stoic moping is actually worse than regular moping."

"I don't mope," he argued.

"You do, you just do it with a bit more stealth and silence but I know you too well, Phil, like all of today? You've been moping."

Phil set down his tablet.

"I was stupid. I thought I was trying not to make the same mistakes as before but I made new ones. It's too late now. It would be embarrassing for Wanda. Her father would murder me and I don't know for certain that he even still feels the same way."

"Then, you could ask him in London," Pepper suggested. He closed his blue eyes for a moment.

"What about you? I always thought you and Tony were inseparable. Now, you've been apart for almost a year," Phil said. "Sometimes, when he thinks no one's watching, Tony plays with Ben and when I catch him, I think he'd make a half-decent father."

Pepper laughed although her hormones threatened to make her cry. He always acted awkward with Ben in front of her but Phil didn't usually lie to her. She did have some ideas about Tony's hang-ups with children although she did get him once to tell her about Harley.

"I never imagined us being this way either. I thought maybe I'd even convince him into being pre-engaged. I did get him to put my name on the newest lease but..."

Phil moved closer.

"I still imagine us being old together, like this is a passing thing. It has to be a passing thing. I hate being this way but I can't fix it yet and he can't fix it either," Pepper complained. It was too much and a few tears came free. "If only everything could be easily fixed the way he can with his suits."

Phil hugged her.

Steve and Peggy arrived back at her flat which was already occupied.

"Paul!" she exclaimed. "Come say hello to Steve."

Steve hadn't seen Paul since his wedding a few years before. Paul Carter took after his grandfather; tall with dark looks but with his grandmother's last name. Steve was happy that Peggy hadn't spent her life pining after him and had learned to love again. He wouldn't have wanted the guilt otherwise. It was bad enough to reconcile the Howard Stark he left behind with the one who was described as hard and cruel.

"I bought Alice with me. She's just changing the baby," Paul explained.

"Peggy told me about the baby, congratulations," Steve told him.

"Thanks man," Paul acknowledged and turned his head behind them. "Come on, come on baby."

His daughter took a few steps, became pleased with herself and promptly fell. Alice put her in Peggy's arms.

"Doesn't she have Gabe's smile?" Peggy asked Steve. He nodded because she did. Marrying Gabe Jones couldn't have easy back then. Steve certainly missed a lot of things from back then but he couldn't go back to living in such bigotry. He remembered how much people were beaten and killed just because of how they looked or who they loved. Now Paul and Alice could be together with very little problems.

"Oof, she's getting heavy. Take her, Steve," Peggy requested and placed her in his arms. She smiled with all of her five teeth. The baby had hazel eyes and light brown hair that snaked everywhere. "Can you believe I'm a great grandmother now?"

"What's her name?" Steve asked.

"Sharon Margaret Carter," Alice said with a smile.

"I need help, Phil, real help," Pepper sniffled. "I can't handle all of it by myself."

Phil hugged her and rubbed her back.

"Whatever you need..."

"No, you don't understand, like a shrink. I just thought it would get better and it did but then other things would come along and I'd just hide it better and now I can't be with Tony and I want to," Pepper rambled. He had noticed her problems since Maria died but this seemed like more than that.

"I don't want to be that person again. When Tony was bad...I was kind of a bitch. I didn't understand what was going on with him and it scared me. He was so different and I thought he could hurt me, not because he wanted to but accidentally. I didn't know who to turn to. Everyone else told my every move to Tony and I didn't want to pile more onto him. He didn't need that and...and you...you were dead!" Pepper complained and hit him with her hands.

Phil didn't know what to say. This went back five years?

"When you were dead, I had no one," she uttered. He hated seeing a woman cry and felt like he was on the verge of crying himself. Faking a death always seemed like a good idea at the time but never seemed to work out in the long run.

"And then, Tony tried to fix everything and it seemed that way so we never told anyone. Nobody knows what happened, nobody knows what happened to me," she continued between sobs.

"Do you want to tell me now?" Phil asked.

Pepper shook her head.

"But I want to want to tell you, to be able to talk about it and for that, I think I need a professional," she spoke. "Tony even tried to tell Bruce once."

"He's not that kind of doctor," Phil tried to joke.

"No, he's really not," she agreed. He couldn't believe something that major had happened without him or anyone else knowing. What could be bothering her so much now? Did her new knowledge of having mutant abilities bring it up somehow?

Thor had asked Jane to accompany him. Sif had been his companion to balls as friends without romantic expectations. Still, Jane had turned him down. It was a delicate time at work and she claimed to be on the verge of a break-through.

"Come on, shake it!" Darcy declared and tried to show him the proper dance steps. Dancing was so much more involved here although even on Asgard, Loki was the better dancer. He didn't care how he looked and Thor felt like every miss-step was being immediately mocked.

"Yeah, we don't need anybody else!" Darcy screamed. She appeared to be very drunk. "Whoa!"

Thor felt less confined. Then, he saw how Darcy's green eyes were very wide and staring at him. He looked down.

He was once again naked in public.

"You should probably..." Darcy motioned to leave. "Not that it's not good because it is, it's all good but...yeah."

"By Odin's beard, again!" Thor complained. "Loki."

At least being a hotel, he didn't have to find something to cover himself immediately like the incident in the park.

"Could be worse," Darcy said. "Could be zombies."

Drunk Darcy was weirder than usual.

"That will never not get old," Loki said with a smile. "What's next on our agenda?"

Natasha had an idea. She knew Thor would love it but wasn't sure about Loki. Either way, she would enjoy it.

"Franklin Richards has a device that I think we can have fun with," she said.

"What kind of device?" Loki asked as they walked to a different part of the hotel.

Susan Richards liked to think she was smart. At least she had a degree to prove it and a good start to getting that Ph.D. However, being around her husband and Bruce Banner discussing things always made her feel stupid.

"Mommy, where do babies come from?" Valeria asked. Uh...

"Why?" she asked her small daughter.

"Because I asked the red man what he was doing and he said he was making babies," Valeria explained.

Deadpool, she thought and rolled her eyes.

"Honey, he was messing with you. He was trying to be funny," Sue told her. The little girl frowned.

Natasha pressed the button and a large fart sound came out, appearing to come from Melinda May who reddened. Even Loki seemed to be biting his lip to keep from laughing.

"Let me try," he requested and she handed over the machine. She wondered who he would pick. Then, Nick Fury stood up and Loki pressed the button that had a really long fart. After playing with it for fifteen minutes, this was the best one. Natasha was about to lose control so she snuck into the hallway where she could laugh freely. Loki joined in.

"I suppose we can return it now," she suggested.

"Not just yet, it may still be of use," Loki argued. She smirked at his response. In some ways, he and Thor were just alike.

"Any ideas?" Natasha asked. "I know you've played pranks before on Asgard."

Now Loki smirked.

"Oh I was quite good. I even turned Thor into a girl once although there is one thing I haven't done in quite some time," he mused aloud. "A love spell."

"That's not a made up thing?" she asked. He shook his head.

"I'm going to do one tonight," he declared.

"Make it temporary. I don't want to ruin Barton's wedding," Natasha stated.

"If I wanted to ruin it, I'd involve kittens," he said. She rolled her eyes and then, narrowed them.

"Fine," Loki agreed. "Temporary with conditions that must be met. Now, let's find Tony Stark."

"Pepper, I'm calling it a night, just wanted to see how you were," Tony said into the phone. Pepper smiled at Phil.

"Tony, you really didn't have to do that. I'm fine, no babies yet, sweet dreams," she told him. His night terrors were a lot better now.

"Love you," Tony said and hung up. Phil squeezed her hand. It was all on her now.

"Who's Stark going to fall in love with?" Natasha asked.

"The next person he comes across," Loki told her. They watched as Stark got off on the wrong floor, looked around and was about to enter the elevator again when Steve appeared.

"Tony, wait up! I got lost, too," Steve explained and jogged towards him. They looked at each other for thirty seconds in an odd way. It was working.

"I, uh..."

Tony had started to talk but Steve had started kissing him. Natasha opened her mouth in surprise and that's when she felt Loki teleporting them again. When they reappeared, they both started laughing. Loki's green eyes seemed to study her for a second and she was about to mutter a smart remark to make him knock it off when he ran his finger along her nose. She could tell immediately that it was fixed but that's not what startled her so much.

Natasha knew Loki's body temperature was lower than most. Still, the cold on her nose had taken her back to her childhood. She remembered waking up as a girl and her nose being cold from the night being colder than when she had fallen sleep. The cold was full of possibility. Before she opened her eyes, she could pretend that she was somewhere else with a loving family.

She liked the cold.

They both looked at each other a moment more. Then, they started kissing.

"Okay, you have JARVIS and Kurt. You could even call May," Phil suggested. She nodded.

"And in a real emergency, Lola," Pepper countered.

"That's not funny," he argued and she smiled. He didn't like joking about his car.

"What's up?" she asked.

"I'm going to London," he announced.


	17. The One with Clint's Wedding

Title: Friends to the End: The One With Clint's Wedding  
Author: Ericadawn16  
Prompt: The wonderful mash-up of Friends and Avengers  
Character/Pairing(s): Clint/Jessica Drew, Jessica Drew/Vange Whedon, Tony/Pepper, Phil/Clint, Clint/Natasha, Clint/?, Natasha/?  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: Slash, lots of slash, mild language  
Spoilers: a few references here and there, nothing big  
Summary: Clint Barton and Wanda Frank are getting married in London, but first, Darcy needs to get everyone up. Steve and Tony still have problems because of Loki although Loki is preoccupied with Natasha. Phil and Steve talk about love, but does the wedding go smoothly?

Beta: HUGE Thanks to lavendergaia and Valoscope and i_llbedammned

The One with Clint's Wedding

March 30, 2017

Darcy ignored the pounding headache that was the bulk of her hangover. This weekend was her first real vacation in months and she was going to enjoy it.

This didn't mean shirking her duties to Clint and there was the bonus of seeing who was hung-over the most. She started knocking on the doors. It was eleven in the morning and the wedding was only four hours away. To her annoyance, she wasn't getting a response so she stepped up her game.

"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, make it last forever, friendship never ends!" Darcy sang as loudly as she could.

"Shut the fuck up!" Tony yelled from a closed door. Russian was being shouted at her from another. She recognized Natasha's voice.

"Barton is being married in FOUR HOURS! If anyone is late, there will be consequences and I will tell Agent! You'll see how he feels about it when we get back!" Darcy yelled in what she hoped was her best authoritarian voice. Then, she went down to the next floor. By the lobby, she was feeling pretty dejected. Coulson had told her to have fun but she didn't want to let him down either.

"I wonder if it's too early for a drink," she muttered to herself. Then, she happened to glance towards the entrance.

"Phil!" she yelled and ran to him. Before she realized what she was doing, she had jumped on him.

"Oof," he said and she could tell he was trying not to wince as she slid off.

"Sorry," she apologized. Phil was Coulson but he was still nearly 53 years old and not meant for being jumped on.

"Things that bad?" he asked.

"Four hours to go and I think everyone is still asleep," Darcy complained. He nodded.

"Okay, we're not going to panic. We're going to give them until it's one hour beforehand, then we'll get everyone up," Coulson told her. It was a good plan.

"I didn't think you were coming."

"I didn't think I was coming either but Pepper is pretty persuasive and I have news especially since it was on the way to the airport," he explained while messing with his phone. He held it up to show a newborn with cocoa skin and a thick mass of hair. "Danielle Luca Cage, mom and baby are doing fine. It appears that Cage is capable of smiling more than I've ever seen him do before and Daniel is taking his new Godfather status very seriously."

Darcy squealed and clapped her hands. Danielle was cute and she was glad everything was going so well.

Coulson pushed more buttons and gave her the phone. It was set up on a slideshow; Jessica holding the baby, Luke holding the baby, Danny holding the baby, Sam holding the baby, Ava holding the baby, Peter holding the baby and even May holding the baby.

"May and Peter were both there?" she asked, handing it back.

"Yes, so I pretended to be Luke's supportive former principal," he answered.

"How stupid does he think she is?" Darcy asked.

"Let's not answer that. Jessica's decided on People. They'll have an online exclusive at any moment and the cover photo next week. Peter's taking them," Coulson explained.

"Good, are you going to talk to Clint?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied.

"Good," she repeated. Then, she noticed Ororo walking to the restaurant. Maybe she had panicked over nothing.

"You didn't have to yell," Steve chastised him after they couldn't hear Darcy's footsteps or singing. Tony was in the kind of mood where he responded by sticking his tongue out. To his horror, he was still filled with the impulse to then use it on Steve on some way. He bounded off the bed.

"This isn't right, not that you're not..." Tony hesitated in his wording, and then gave up because he'd never had to give this speech before. "You're a beautiful man but I think something must be causing this."

"I agree," said Steve. "I keep wanting to do things to you."

He had a confused look on his face, and then continued, "Stuff I haven't even done to a woman yet. This is more like...magic."

Tony cringed.

"I know, but do you have a better idea of what it could be?" Steve asked. It took a minute or two but even Tony had to admit defeat. He shook his head.

"I suppose there's a variety of suspects but I think we can agree that it's probably Loki," he said at the same time that Steve did. "However, I'm not about to beg him to change it or something. We'll find someone else."

"Wanda's skilled in magic," Steve pointed out.

"Excellent!" Tony exclaimed. Things were looking up.

"But it is her wedding day, we probably shouldn't ask her about it today," Steve said.

"Damn," Tony spat. "We'll just have to keep our hands to ourselves for the time being."

This was not an acceptable state of affairs.

"Is that physically possible?" Loki asked after Natasha had cursed in Russian at Darcy. She knew he wanted credit for knowing Russian so she ignored him and took a shower. The room they had teleported to was Natasha's own hotel room. When she came out, he was still naked on the bed. She put on her shoes.

"I'm Barton's best man. I can't be late. You can let yourself out the same way you came in," Natasha told him. In a flash, he had an acoustic guitar. He strummed a few hesitant notes before commencing with enthusiasm.

"When all the world was very young

And mountain magic heavy hung

The supermen would walk in file

Guardians of a loveless isle

And gloomy browed with superfear their tragic endless lives," Loki sang, proving he did know it. Natasha knew why he did it. When you were raised in a constant fit of noise and people, then being cut off from that was the ultimate feeling of alone. It was the worst loneliness imaginable and could drive a person to desperate measures to make people join them. They'd pull people into their life even if they knew it wasn't good for that other person.

Natasha knew it all too well so she wasn't about to become a victim herself.

Still, last night had been the best sex she'd had in quite some time. She supposed he might have an advantage from having sex as a woman before. There was also the icy, hot element that she really liked.

"Nightmare dreams no mortal mind could hold

A man would tear his brother's flesh, a chance to die

To turn to mold.

Far out in the red-sky

Far out from the sad eyes

Strange, mad celebration

So softly a supergod cries

Far out in the red-sky

Far out from the sad eyes

Strange, mad celebration

So softly a supergod dies," Loki finished singing and made the guitar disappear. "Am I a supergod, Romanov?"

"You have already proved your love of Bowie," she replied. "But you have torn your brother's flesh before."

Loki stood up from the bed and crossed to her.

"Don't tell me he never gives you the urge to do the same?" he asked. Natasha smirked because Thor did have his moments. "Stay. The wedding will be a futile exercise."

His placed his hand on her ass. She grabbed his wrist and twisted. He fought her grasp, twisting back until her back was against his chest. It was a half-hearted tussle on both accounts. However, she could feel how excited it had made him due to the lack of clothing.

She shrugged inwardly. The wedding was still a few hours away. Then, she kissed him.

There was a knock on Clint's door.

"They say it's bad luck to see me before the wedding," he said in a loud voice before opening the door. "Phil."

"This seemed like a good idea until about thirty seconds ago," Phil admitted.

"Come in," he said and Phil came in.

"I...uh...I" Phil stumbled. It was a sight rarely seen. "If I had asked, would I be there instead of Wanda?"

"Yes," Clint said without thinking. Then, he looked at the floor. He shook his head and took a minute. When he was able to look at Phil's shaken face, he started again, "But that's not the case, is it? In this place, at this time, you can't offer that, can you?"

He could see the controlled anguish as Phil admitted, "No."

Clint stepped closer to him. Words failed him. He didn't know what to think. His body almost seemed to move of its own accord before kissing Phil on the lips. He recoiled almost as it begun. Phil leaned away from him.

"No, no, I asked Wanda and I do love her. It's too late for us, I think," Clint spoke. Phil nodded. They shared one more look and Phil left him.

"Fuck," Clint whispered to himself.

"Maybe we should stay on opposite side of the rooms for the time being," Tony suggested. "Like a ten foot rule."

"Like at school dances," Steve agreed with a nod.

"They had those back in your time, too?" Tony asked.

"Yes, we held them in our caves by torchlight," Steve retorted back. Tony grinned.

Natasha managed to make her way to the room where the wedding would be held. Then, she had explored the back areas to find Clint. Loki found her first.

"There's no point in attending," he told her. "We could find other ways to occupy our time."

"Is this about all weddings?" Natasha asked.

"You mean having a ceremony to prove to everyone in existence how much you claim to love each other instead of just knowing it between the two of you?" he retorted.

"I thought you didn't believe in love," she said.

"I knew from Barton that you didn't. It's why I found it so intriguing that you were giving the very believable impression of loving Barton. Then again, you were also having to deceive those listening about your past with him so they would believe that making 'a different call' was all there was to it," Loki spoke. "What is that word that Coulson likes to use? 'Redacted'. Yes, Barton's file was redacted so that none know the full extent of your shared past or that you even crossed paths with Coulson as well before Barton's call."

Natasha wouldn't make any response to that.

"I was a bit surprised that he even had to tell you about Elizabeth or do you believe your own lies now?" he asked.

She didn't like his knowing about Elizabeth so she wasn't about to confirm it. Her spying at the time hadn't included finding out about Elizabeth though. She had been more concerned about what Coulson had known about her and how to fix that.

"You're starting to crush on Barton?" Natasha teased as a way of changing the subject.

"No, but they aren't suited to one another," he answered.

"And how do you know that?" she asked.

"You aren't raised by the Goddess of Marriage and Motherhood without learning a thing or two," he answered. "At some point, she would end up killing him."

Between being a God, his powers of illusion and not being that bad to look at, Loki could have his pick of partners. She decided to look at it as a compliment that he kept coming back to her.

"Fine, I have some spare minutes. There's a small closet over there or you're on your own," she offered.

"Only minutes?" he teased. "That does cut down on foreplay considerably."

"There was foreplay?" she teased back. "I don't recall from last night."

They both knew that was a lie.

"Very well," he agreed and started walking to the closet. "Your dress is pleasing."

It was dark purple with her breasts nearly falling out. Natasha rolled her eyes

There was still a little time before the wedding. Steve wished he could have something stronger but it would never be enough to numb the situation. Even Wanda fighting alongside him in battle had never made magic as real as this moment when he was still fighting an impossible urge to find Tony and an available bed. He settled for a fizzy drink instead. Then, he saw a familiar face at the bar.

"Phil," he greeted with a smile. "I hadn't expected to see you."

Phil nodded. Then, he swirled the ice in his amber drink with a stirrer, half-hearted. It was definitely stronger than Steve's drink. They sat in silence. Steve looked up at the television. Phil must have told them what he wanted to watch since a person lecturing on Geometric Representation and Invariant Theory: Algebraic Quantization and Deformations didn't seem like the typical bar viewing. Then, he realized that the lecturer, Jazmin Gonzales, looked familiar.

"I know her," he said.

"Probably from the photo of the wife and kids on Sitwell's desk," Phil suggested.

"She's Sitwell's wife?" Steve asked. She wasn't how he had expected her at all.

"Yes, he usually takes time off when she has a conference. He takes care of the kids while she's busy lecturing. Linda and Gaby are old enough to watch Darwin themselves but they get tired of signing everything for him," Phil explained.

"Signing? Like sign language?" Steve asked.

"Yes, Darwin was born deaf. He's four. Gaby is twelve and Linda is going to be seventeen in a few months," he told him.

Steve wondered if he still remembered how to do it. The army had him learn how to hold a conversation in a variety of languages for the press opportunities. Later, it came in handy for spying. He thought about mentioning when he met Helen Keller but sometimes, it felt like Phil knew Steve's life better than Steve did.

"At least they have each other, that's nice," Steve commented. After a few minutes, he asked, "Do you believe a person only has one true love?"

"I hope not," Phil replied. "What if you don't realize who your true love was? Or they die young?"

He gulped down half the drink and added, "I've had two loves myself."

Steve guessed one was Clint. He wasn't sure who the other one was.

"Seems like we all have at least one; Peggy and I, Tony and Pepper, Thor and Jane, Bruce and Betty..." Steve said before thinking of something. "We never see Natasha with anyone, just casual things or when she was with you and Clint."

"Is there a question there?" Phil asked. Was he being allowed to ask that? Steve knew it really wasn't any of his business but he did wonder about her. He knew that Phil, especially drunk Phil, was bad at refusing him. It would be taking advantage of this to ask anything.

Then again, Loki's trick was taking his toll on him.

"Who would be the closest thing to Natasha's one true love?" Steve asked.

He watched Phil watch Jazmin speak for another minute or so.

"There is a legend about a man who comes to those with a bounty on their head especially if the Russians put it there. It's a legend because very few are left alive. He's disguised. His face is hidden. He leaves no fingerprints behind or evidence he was there except for the deaths. I have yet to find any proof he exists but there are those who claim some of the murders weren't done alone, that the Black Widow was with him," Phil explained.

"And you don't believe them," Steve commented. "Why?"

"Some of these accounts date back fifty or sixty years," the other replied. He agreed that this didn't make sense.

"Maybe they have a different guy dress the same and different Black Widows," Steve suggested.

"Could be," Phil agreed. "Actually, I'm kind of curious about Loki."

"In the stories, he was married to Sigyn," Steve said. Sigyn stood by Loki no matter what, had two children with him and helped with his punishments.

"But I asked Thor and he said there is no one by that name on Asgard," Phil explained. "What if that would have made a difference?"

Steve wasn't sure if Sigyn would have been enough or not.

Phil sat towards the back. He could still see everything but not everybody could see him. The important thing was for Clint to be happy.

"And now the rings," the priest spoke. Ben stepped forward and held out his hand. Clint took one of the rings from him.

"Repeat after me," the priest continued. "With this ring, I, Clinton Francis Barton wed thee, Wanda Frank."

"With this ring, I, Clinton Francis Barton wed thee, Phil-"

Had he really just said that? Time seemed to stop.

Then, Phil realized time had stopped. Franklin and Valeria looked around in confusion as well a few others but most were still as statues. Wanda was holding Clint's hand and running towards him. Was she going to kill him?

She grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet.

"We haven't much time," she said and he felt the odd sensation of being teleported. When they stopped again, they were at Phil's apartment in New York City. His face must have shown his confusion.

"Stark records everything in Avengers Tower. I'm not about to let him have this. This is just between us," Wanda stated. She was dangerously calm.

"Wanda, I-" Clint started.

"Don't," Wanda uttered. Magic seemed to crackle from her fingers despite her being seemingly composed.

"Don't. I knew. I asked you just last night and I was stupid enough to believe you. I thought maybe I could be enough, but-" she paused and shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't want you to die. My father and brother will want to kill you. Actually, they would want to hurt you more than that. They'd kill Phil."

Being told that Magneto would now be gunning for him was a little panic inducing to Phil. Clint's face was riddled by anxiety, too.

"What about Ben?" Clint asked.

"My father's a villain but he isn't evil. The thought of him willfully murdering a three year old is absurd," Wanda argued. "But you need to take care, Phil. Next time I might not be there."

He nodded and she disappeared.


	18. The One Where Pepper Gives Birth

Title: Friends to the End: The One Where Pepper Gives Birth  
Author: Ericadawn16  
Prompt: The wonderful mash-up of Friends and Avengers  
Character/Pairing(s): Clint/Jessica Drew, Jessica Drew/Vange Whedon, Tony/Pepper, Phil/Clint, Clint/Natasha, Clint/?, Natasha/?  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: Slash, lots of slash, mild language  
Spoilers: a few references here and there, nothing big  
Summary: Pepper is giving birth to the triplets.

Beta: HUGE Thanks to lavendergaia and Valoscope and i_llbedammned

The One Where Pepper Gives Birth

April 16, 2017

Natasha was anxious for Phil to come so she could leave. She didn't do these sorts of situations well. Making things worse was Rae who had been in the actual room with Pepper but now sat outside it with Natasha. Instead of focusing on the screaming and crying from Pepper, she began to study the artwork and interior decorating of Charles' school.

"It's because it's triplets, right? Labor's okay now with the drugs and everything, right?" Rae asked, rubbing her large stomach.

"Sure," Natasha agreed. There was a sort of screech that sounded like Pepper and Rae left the hallway in the direction of the washroom.

"What happened with her?" asked Phil, walking up.

"I wasn't reassuring enough that her labor would be different," she answered. Phil glanced in the direction of the door that Pepper was behind. Then, he looked towards where Rae had escaped.

"I'm going to make a call and see if she needs anything," he said. She nodded. With any luck, he'd fix everything. He was good at that. Darcy was getting better at it.

After a moment, he returned.

"What took you so long?" she asked. They both knew she meant coming here and not just now with Rae.

"Loki was bored. In this case, bored meant reprogramming all of Times Square to play a David Bowie video from four years ago over and over," Phil explained. "The advertising companies are on our asses about it but I prefer this version of Loki being bored to blowing up Manhattan or that time he decided to fight Dr. Doom."

"That worked out alright," she argued.

"Except for leveling half of Latveria," Phil pointed out. She shrugged.

"He really likes his Bowie."

"He does. He has quite the knowledge of 70s rock music," he spoke. She knew that tone. Phil was implying there was more to it and he could be right. However, some things about the past deserved to be buried.

"Considering those outfits, I think Asgardians are predisposed to like 70s rock," Natasha joked. He smiled briefly.

"The press is all stationed around Avengers Tower since they can't come here," Phil explained. She hated the press. As if they had nothing better to do than follow herself, her teammates and everyone they'd ever met around all day. "She's told Tony not to come until she calls him."

She'd expected as much.

"How much of a fight did he put up?" Natasha asked.

"Not as much as I'd anticipated. Something's going on with him," Phil commented. She was pretty sure that had to do with the love or lust spell that Loki put on Tony and Steve. However, revealing that information would involve admitting that she knew Loki more than casual conversation at the apartment that Coulson and Loki shared.

"We need to stop doing this," Steve spoke although he made no move to disentangle himself from Tony. They were lying in his bed at Avengers Tower.

"Yep, tomorrow, I'll get right on that..." Tony agreed in a way that didn't sound very committed.

"Tony...you already tried every scientific method you could think of. Nothing's working...obviously," Steve pointed out. Tony made his grumpy sound and rolled away from him.

"I'm not asking Loki. I know he has to be behind this but I don't want to give him that satisfaction," Tony complained.

"Our only magical ally is Wanda and she's not making herself that available lately," Steve told him.

"Can you blame her after London?" Tony asked. Steve shook his head. Wanda being dumped at the altar by Clint Barton was probably the worst moment of her life although he didn't remember all of it. One moment, he was watching Clint and Wanda with the vicar and the next moment, Clint and Phil were missing.

Tony got off the bed, pushed his phone further away on the wardrobe and looked out the window that overlooked the Chrysler Building. Steve found the familiar building comforting under any other circumstances but not at this moment.

Steve knew what Tony was doing now. In a way, he'd used him just now.

"You're trying to ignore not being there for Pepper," he spoke.

"She has a point. It's not like I could do anything for her. They're not my triplets. Her brother and his wife are there. They're taking them home," Tony explained. "I'm fine. She's doing all the work."

"I think you've been miserable ever since she broke up with you and you won't admit it. I know she wants her space but you've also been together about a decade or more? Ask her for marriage," Steve suggested.

"Even if that was on the table," Tony said and gave him a death stare. "Which it's not, I have to stand by Pepper's decision because she's always stood by mine."

Tony's phone rang. Steve saw that glimmer of anticipation in his brown eyes but JARVIS informed them, "Janet is on the phone." Then, the glimmer was gone and Tony picked up the device.

Natasha wasn't sure what Phil's plan was about helping Rae until Jessica walked in with Danielle in a baby carrier and carrying a baby bag.

"You said to come?" she asked. Phil and Natasha walked over to her.

"Yes, Rae Rhodes is in the bathroom and won't come out. If you could talk to her and calm her down about her pregnancy, I'd appreciate it," Phil explained. After a moment, Jessica nodded. She dumped the bag on the floor and put the carrier on a chair. Then, she nodded at Phil.

'She's not leaving the baby behind, is she?' Natasha asked in her head. However, Jessica left for the bathroom without taking the infant with her. Maybe she would sleep through it all. She was what...two weeks? Three weeks? How long ago was Barton's non-wedding?

Naturally, the infant seemed to know her mother was no longer present and started to wail. Phil was unflappable as always. He walked across to the carrier, took her out of the complicated thing and bought her back to the bench where he'd been sitting next to Natasha.

"Shh," he hissed and made other sounds as he rubbed the infant's back. Danielle stopped crying and turned her head to study Natasha. She waved and the baby's brown eyes seemed to focus on them for a second. Then, the baby laid her head against Phil's chest.

"You make it seem so easy," she commented.

"I was the oldest of nine children. There were always babies," Phil explained. Natasha hadn't really thought about it when he baby sat Ben but then, Ben had been older. Clint's ex-wife hadn't let Ben out of her sight until he was three months old. Now, Natasha saw how skilled Phil was with Danielle and how his blue eyes lit up.

"You should have been a father," she stated.

"You mean being there when times get tough, imparting sage advice that gets ignored and cleaning up the mess afterwards?" he asked. "I do that already."

He looked at Danielle as he said this. Natasha gave him a patented stare until she received a different answer.

"I think it's probably too late for that."

No, SHIELD and the Avengers did take up most of his time even if men could reproduce for basically their whole lives.

"Here, why don't you hold her?" Phil suggested and before she could refuse him, he was moving the baby to her.

"I...I don't..." she started to argue but you really couldn't argue with Phil. She found herself letting him fold her arms into the right position for her to lay on her chest as Danielle had been doing with him. She was so tiny and fragile; trusting Natasha not to suddenly drop her or not support her head. Natasha couldn't remember ever having such blind trust.

Danielle's diaper must have recently been changed because she still smelled like powder and dried milk. This wasn't so bad. She caught herself smiling and Phil caught it, too.

"I'm still never doing it," Natasha maintained.

"I know," he agreed. His blue eyes focused on Danielle again. "I feel sort of responsible."

"Why? You didn't force them to have sex," she reminded him. They were young and thus, even more likely to make stupid decisions.

"No, but Parker was able to have the party because," Phil started, and then paused. He seemed to check for them being alone, looked at the infant again and admitted, "I kept May otherwise distracted so he could have the house for the party."

He was such a gentleman that he couldn't admit to having sex with May in public. She couldn't help thinking of their occasional trysts and how sometimes she and Clint would try to outdo each other. A smirk crossed her face.

"It's not funny," Phil argued.

"It kind of is," she retorted back.

When Phil entered the apartment, Loki was strung along a couch, furiously writing in his journal. A copy of _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_ lay discarded nearby. The thought struck him that Loki had been waiting for him but he didn't let himself keep it. It was dangerous to assume too much without anything to back it up.

Still, he had stopped what he had been doing and looked up.

"Miss Potts is fine. The one boy and two girls she delivered are all fine as well," Phil informed him.

"Two girls?" Loki asked.

"Yes, your namesake turned out to be a girl," he confirmed.

"Then, I trust her name will reflect something more appropriate?" Loki asked. Kurt and Amanda had given Pepper the chance to name the third baby who was supposed to be a boy. Loki had used this chance to trick her into naming it Loki. Phil was inwardly amused at how confused Loki became at a girl having his name.

"Actually, they quite liked the name. They may keep it," he insisted and fought not to smile as Loki glowered. Then, he went to gather his clothes and shower. It ended up being a pretty good day. Jessica and Rae even seemed to bond.

Tony slowly opened the door and started to tiptoe inside. He wasn't sure what the protocol for this was. As a general rule, he tried to avoid babies at all costs. They were germy and smelly and drooled all over everything but even worse than that was when they were cute and bought out weird feelings that he didn't want to think about. It was the same sort of feelings he had around Harley, like maybe he wouldn't be so bad after all at that whole fath-

No, no, it was just better not to think about stuff like that.

"Tony, just get over here," Pepper told him and he knew that tone. She was in a normal bed, sitting up with the babies on her lap. He stood over her until she motioned for the empty spot beside her.

"This is your Uncle Tony. I doubt you figured it out yet but you're going to have a lot of aunts and uncles," Pepper explained.

"But I plan on being your favorite uncle," he informed them. "Okay, introduce me."

"This one," she spoke and touched an infant with a blue blanket. "His name is Maximilian Alexander Wagner."

"I'm going to call you Max," Tony stated. Pepper giggled. "He looks normal."

His skin was a little blotchy but not blue and his straight black hair was peeking out of his blue cap.

"He has yellow eyes," she explained. "Now, the middle one, her name is Grace Virginia Wagner."

Her skin was a light blue. On the other hand, the third baby resembled Kurt, including black hair, midnight blue skin and a tail that twitched.

"This is Lakhi Maria Wagner," Pepper told him with a smile.

"He was a she," Tony said and couldn't help chuckling. "I wish I could have seen his face."

"You'll have to ask Phil. I'm sure he'll tell him," she said.

He was glad she ended up being a girl, not just so she wouldn't be named Loki but because Pepper was able to give her that middle name. It was hard to believe that it was a little over a year now since Maria had died.

Tony put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed.

"You did good, Potts," he told her.

"Well," she corrected him yet he had made her smile.


	19. The One with the Lesbian Wedding

Title: Friends to the End: The One with the Lesbian Wedding  
Author: Ericadawn16  
Prompt: The wonderful mash-up of Friends and Avengers  
Character/Pairing(s): Clint/Jessica Drew, Jessica Drew/Vange Whedon, Tony/Pepper, Phil/Clint, Clint/Natasha, Clint/?, Natasha/?  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: Slash, lots of slash, mild language  
Spoilers: a few references here and there, nothing big  
Summary: Jessica Drew and Evangeline Whedon are finally getting married, Thor explains about Asgardian marriage practices and Jessica Jones makes a horrible discovery in Central Park.

Beta: HUGE Thanks to lavendergaia and Valoscope

ADDITIONAL WARNING! This chapter deals with the aftermath of rape so if you want, you can stop reading once Jessica Jones is walking in Central Park.

Note: The wedding speech was just something I found in public domain off the internet and then I rewrote it to make it apply to this situation.

The One with the Lesbian Wedding

August 12, 2017

"Thanks for doing this," Jess said. Clint could tell she was nervous from the way she kept straightening everyone's clothing, even his. She wore a white dress and Vange had a white pantsuit.

"I hope you're not jinxing us by wearing that," Vange commented while glaring at his suit. It was his nicest suit. It also happened to be the one he wore when he was supposed to marry Wanda, a marriage which didn't turn out since he said Phil's name at the ceremony instead but things happen...

"It wasn't the suit," Clint told her.

"How do we know Magneto or somebody's not going to come and attack the wedding because of you?" Vange asked.

"Honey, I'm nervous enough without the sniping. Play nice," Jess complained.

"It's a legitimate concern," Vange retorted. Clint could see her point of view. She'd never had a wedding before and Jess had never had a nice one. When she and Clint married, they'd fled to Florida and eloped.

"No, Wanda's convinced that he would never harm Ben or children. You're safe," he tried to assure them. Vange frowned for a bit but nodded. Jess squeezed her hand. Music started to play. This was it.

"Now?" Ben asked in his little suit.

"Almost," Jess told him and he held out his hand. Vange took it as Clint took Jess' arm and accompanied her down the aisle. He tried not to look at anyone especially Tash. She might try to make him laugh.

Finally, they stopped in front of Professor Xavier who nodded. Clint let go, smiled at Jess who was still very nervous and took a second to watch his son leading Vange down the aisle. Then, he took his seat beside Phil and Tash. She had a date. He was lanky with long brown hair and blue eyes but there was something familiar about him. Clint raised an eyebrow.

"His name's Puck," she whispered. Puck smiled at the introduction.

"He looks like a skinny, brunette Thor," Clint whispered back to get a rise out of her. Puck coughed several times, forcing Professor X. to pause before he started speaking for it to be over.

"Welcome, family, friends and loved ones. We gather here today to celebrate the wedding of Jessica Drew and Evangeline Whedon. You have come here to share in this formal commitment they make to one another, to offer your love and support to this union, and to allow Jessica and Evangeline to start their married life together surrounded by the people dearest and most important to them.

So welcome to one and all, those who have traveled from near and far. Jessica and Evangeline thank you for your presence here today and now ask for your blessing, encouragement, and lifelong support, for their decision to be married. Will you give them this?" Professor X. asked the crowd.

"Say yes," said Ben, standing near his mom. Just about everyone said "yes" after that in various languages.

"Marriage is perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure of human relationships. No ceremony can create your marriage; only you can do that – through love and patience; through dedication and perseverance; through talking and listening, helping and supporting and believing in each other; through tenderness and laughter; through learning to forgive, learning to appreciate your differences, and by learning to make-"

Professor X was interrupted by a high-pitched cellphone chirp. It was one that Clint was all too familiar with.

"Sorry, sorry, that was me," Tony admitted, standing up and holding up his phone as if proud of the awkwardness. Jess rolled her eyes but Vange was livid and glaring at him. "Sorry."

He sat back down. Clint turned around to give him another death stare. Tony seemed to ignore it in favor of showing Clint the screen. It appeared to be the latest photo of three month old Nathaniel Rhodes. There was no profit in little Nathan's baby photos because Rhodes was blanketing his social media as it was. In fact, if Rhodes was having some time off, Stark should probably turn his phone off or it would go off again before the ceremony was done.

"And by learning to make the important things matter, and to let go of the rest. What this ceremony can do is to witness and affirm the choice you make to stand together as lifemates and partners," Professor X. continued with his own intense look directed at Stark. Clint was amused that Tony could be seen turning his phone off after that. Nobody wanted Charles mad at them. The rest of the wedding went off without a hitch.

Thor liked Professor Xavier's school. It felt more like home with its rambling grounds and crowds of people than Avenger Tower's vertical ascent or privacy screenings. He had enjoyed the wedding, too. Jess and Vange appeared to be well-matched.

"Mother would approve," he'd told them although they hadn't seemed to realize the significance of what he meant. He supposed the only one who would truly understand was Loki and they were still not as they once were. Perhaps they would never have that closeness again. In his heart, he had to admit that he still held a distrust of Loki from everything that had happened between them although he wished for this not to be the case. He would ask Coulson for updates on his brother but his brother often took sabbaticals where they could not always find his whereabouts. Thor reminded himself to focus on the present.

The wedding celebration had moved to what appeared to be a feast hall but Bobbi had told him that it was called a cafeteria. Bobbi had agreed to be his date for all the festivities.

"I just realized I've never asked. How do weddings work on Asgard?" Coulson asked.

"The future husband goes to his lover's parents and asks their permission to court her. If all goes well, he seeks the All-Father's permission to ask for her hand. If he and his intended both say yes, then my father marries them followed by a large feast and ball similar to this," Thor explained.

"Is that the only way? There is no other?" Puck asked from the other side of the table. Thor couldn't recall meeting Puck before but he made him uncomfortable. There was something about him that Thor couldn't trust.

Everyone looked at him to see what his answer would be.

"There is another way but it means not having the All-Father's blessing. This should only be done in extreme haste or when he would not grant it," Thor responded. In all his years, which were too many to keep careful track of at the moment, there had only been a handful of such marriages in Asgard. It wasn't done.

"And then what? Is there an Asgardian Justice of the Peace or something?" Bobbi asked.

"I know not what you mean but a couple who wishes to marry in such a way must go to one of my mother's gardens with two witnesses and declare their love and devotion for one another. It is true that my mother has final authority over marriage. It is her expertise as well as motherhood," Thor explained.

"So, she could defy the King if she wished it?" Puck asked.

"She could but why would she? He is her husband," he replied. This garnered a strange set of reactions from the table as though he'd said something wrong. Sometimes, he felt like he was getting acquainted with their customs and sometimes, it felt like he would never truly understand them at all. Puck became so upset that he left. Everyone looked at Natasha who shrugged.

"He'll be fine," she assured them.

It felt over.

All the cake had been eaten, the speeches had been done and there were already a few snoring away at their tables while others were incredibly drunk.

"I don't think they're going to miss us if we just leave," Jessica Jones told Luke Cage.

"You want to?" Luke asked.

"Yeah," Jessica agreed. "Pick up Daniella from May and I'll meet you at home."

"Or she could stay with Aunt May the whole night and we could have a night to ourselves," he suggested, pulling her close.

"And Aunt May would have to get up with her, that's not fair. Maybe when she's older, we could consider it," she said. She didn't like how everyone had ideas for how to be a mother and they were all different. It was overwhelming. She wished her mom was still alive.

"And you're going out again," Luke stated and she could tell his disapproval.

"Yes, and don't tell me I can't take care of myself. You know I can," Jessica complained.

"I know," he agreed. There were a few seconds where she could tell he was thinking about saying something else. There was no changing her mind though and he seemed to come to that realization. "Would you like to accompany me to the city?"

He was using his fake southern gentleman voice and she couldn't help laughing. She took his arms as they exited the room, walking across the Heriz rug.

"I don't want ours to be this big, just our friends. Maybe we could even do it at May's house," Jessica mused aloud.

"I think she'd like that. Did I ever tell you the time I stayed with her and Peter for five or six months?" Luke asked.

"Oh, once or twice or...a zillion times," she said with a laugh. He gently shoved her and she shoved him back, getting a laugh.

"She could probably marry us, too. She knows how to do _everything_," Jessica said in amazement.

"And anything she can't do, Coulson can," Luke spoke which was very true.

"And the small amount that neither can do is where we come in?" she suggested.

"Exactly," Luke confirmed as he put his arm around her.

"Daddy?" Ben asked.

"Yeah?" Clint asked, looking down. Ben was standing on his shoes and they were dancing. It was such a memorable experience.

"Can we go now? I'm tired," the little boy complained. He scooped him up in his arms.

"Yep, let's go say goodnight to mommy and mimi," Clint told him. "Then, tomorrow, we'll go to the park and do the teeter-totter."

"Yes!" Ben declared.

They passed Tony who was talking to Steve. Clint looked around for Pepper but didn't see her. He caught Phil's gaze and was able to share a smile. They never seemed to have the right timing anymore; either he was married or Phil was oblivious or they were being stupid or...well, currently, he just wanted Phil to be safe.

Jessica wasn't sure Luke understood why she had to do these things. Maybe it was because he had been doing this superhero stuff for a lot longer than she had. Maybe it was because she was only just now feeling like one of the team. Maybe it was the motherhood catching up to her. Whatever it was, she felt like she was making some slim kind of difference as she walked through Central Park in the early morning hours. Every person that they saved had been someone's child once, just like Danielle. If she was here for someone now, maybe someone would be there if Danielle needed it and they weren't around.

Jessica had changed in their car from the cocktail dress to jeans and a jacket. She was relieved that things seemed to be quiet. There was a sliver of moon above her although the stars were dulled in the bright lights that never faded unless forced to. Then, she heard a noise.

At first, she was unsure whether it was a human or animal but she knew it was crying from pain. She started trying to seek out the source of the sound. Jessica almost missed her because she was close to bushes off any of the main paths.

It was a girl with dark hair and torn clothing. She was crying.

"Hello, hello, are you alright?" she asked. The girl stopped and looked at her. "Are you hurt?"

There was a nod from the girl.

"Can you stand?" Jessica asked.

"I think so," the girl replied. Jessica took her hand and helped her up, but her hand was sticky and she smelled blood. A horrible thought filled her head and she looked down at the girl's crotch. Blood stained the jeans. She looked around.

"He's gone now," the girl spoke.

"Can you identify him? We should go to the police and they'll take of it and the hospital, we should go there, too, get you checked out and we need to make sure he doesn't do this again," Jessica said. She was rambling because this situation was too familiar and disgusting at the same time. She couldn't understand why men would do such things as it was but this girl was practically a child. Was she even a teenager?

Jessica should have been calm for her benefit. Instead, she had freaked out and it showed on the girl's face.

"No! No police, no hospital! My dad would kill me. He'd look bad," the girl stressed and shook her head.

"Did he do this?" Jessica asked as they still stood on the grass.

"No!" the girl screamed. "He wouldn't."

Still, she couldn't just go home after that. She should see someone... Jessica wanted to be helpful but the girl was so scared.

Hmm, there was someone qualified and discrete for the right price.

"Come on, I know someone who can help. No one has to know but you have to get checked out and he can give you something for the pain," Jessica suggested.

The girl wrapped her arms around herself tight and retorted, "I don't even know you."

Right, which was a good point, Jessica thought.

"I'm actually an Avenger," she explained and reached in her pocket for the ID before realizing that it was in her purse that she had left with Luke. It was time for Plan B. "My phone can prove it."

She thought about pulling up contact list. Then, she changed her mind in favor of her photos.

"I was at a wedding earlier. Let's see who I can show...some people like their privacy. Oh, you'll know this one," she said and pointed the phone to reveal Tony Stark.

"Every person in New York has Tony Stark on their phone," the girl argued.

"Right, probably the same for Pepper Potts, here's Thor with Mockingbird, me and Luke...Peter took that," she said with a smile.

"Not Peter Parker? The Daily Bugle photographer?" the girl asked.

"The very same," Jessica answered although she found it a bit odd. While Spider-Man was popular, no one cared about Peter Parker since his identity was secret.

"He's always been nice to me, much nicer than the others. If you're friends, I suppose you can be trusted but no reports, nothing official. I'm the good boring daughter, I'm not...not supposed to have stuff like this happen to me," the girl said. Jessica could hear the tears in her voice and put her arms around her. She stiffened at first but let her do it.

Jessica took off her jacket and wrapped it around her waist so that it would hide most of the blood.

"What's your name?" she asked in a soft voice.

After a sniffle, the girl replied, "Kate."

"Okay Kate, we're going to take the subway because I'm not about to make you walk to Greenwich Village especially at this hour," Jessica explained. Kate nodded. "Can I call your dad or your mom?"

"No, he's on business and she's dead. My sister's in Vegas planning her wedding," she explained. Jessica was flabbergasted.

"Who's watching you?"

"He has servants, like Quentin," Kate replied in a cold tone. The woman wasn't sure what to say to that. They walked in silence to the underground entrance.

Being late at night, no one paid them much mind on the subway. They'd just notice her bloody jeans and move farther away from them.

"What's your favorite guilty pleasure show?" Jessica asked, trying to make small talk to keep her mind off things.

"I like watching _Dog Cops_," Kate replied.

"Everyone watches that, why wouldn't you? No, I mean the show that's kind of embarrassing, that everyone makes fun of you for watching," she explained. "Like Luke, he's my fiancé; he makes fun of me for watching Honey Boo Boo."

The girl seemed to think for a moment. Her black hair hid her face. Then, she looked up.

"I like the retro shows and my sister hates it. She says I'm weird," Kate spoke.

"Oh, like _Boy Meets World_ and _Family Matters_?" Jessica asked. Kate shook her head.

"Actually, like really old, like black and white, I like _I Love Lucy_ and _Leave it to Beaver_. Everything seems so perfect then," she explained. "Simple."

She must be more mature than her age would make it seem. Jessica didn't want to think about what had caused that before tonight.

"You should call the old stuff vintage. It sounds better and no one can argue with vintage," Jessica suggested. There was a faint smile on Kate's face.

Soon, they left the station and reached one of the few rundown buildings left in the area. Kate seemed to be taking it all in stride. Jessica stood in front of the door that had patches of green paint remaining on it. Then, she knocked on it. She always did "Shave and a haircut" to annoy him.

The door opened, he took one look at them both and ushered them in. His black hair was unkempt and his clothes were worn as usual but at least his hands weren't shaking so he must have had a fix recently.

"Stephen, I need your help," Jessica spoke.

"That could already be guessed from your appearance at this hour," he told her. She stepped closer to him and whispered, "She was raped but refuses to go to a hospital."

"And this is beyond SHIELD or Stark's capabilities?" he asked.

"I don't think she'd be comfortable with that. She seems very concerned about people finding out. I knew you could be discrete," she explained. He nodded and studied the girl.

"I can do what you ask but it won't be easy on her," he warned. "And if there are complications, she still may need a hospital whether she likes it or not."

She nodded.

"I'll need to make up the medicines. Take her in the next room and explain how she'll need to take pants off because I need to make sure she's not still bleeding or worse," Stephen spoke. "But say it in a nice way that doesn't scare her too much."

She nodded and added, "She's just a child."

"She was a child but I doubt she will feel like a child ever again," he spat and walked into a different room.

Later, when Stephen had finished, Jessica was supporting most of Kate's weight as they walked to the door.

"Don't leave her alone," Stephen warned.

"Did you have to drug her this much?" she asked.

"Since she refuses to have anyone follow up with her or get prescriptions from a pharmacy, yes," he answered. "I did only what was necessary to ensure nothing comes of this and to dull the pain. She will sleep soon but before that, she may say things without meaning to; things she would never talk about normally. Be careful with that."

"You're very strange," Kate declared.

"Yes, I am Strange," he confirmed.

"Right," she said and turned her head, almost leaning it against Jessica. The woman would probably have to carry her soon."What's that photo?"

It was a postcard of a mountain that Jessica didn't find that different from any other mountain.

"I think most would call it my 'happy place'," Stephen replied.

"You've been there?" the girl asked.

He shook his head before adding, "Always meant to."

"You should," Kate said. "Happy."

"I'll pay you in the morning," Jessica assured them as she led Kate outside.

"There's no need, not for this," he said and smiled at Kate. Jessica couldn't remember ever seeing him smile before. Then, the door was shut without another word.

She held Kate close as she took out her phone again and scrolled through her names. Half the time, the voice command function never worked anyway.

"I hope someone's dead," Sitwell answered; managing to sound both pissed and tired at the same time.

"No, I need your help," Jessica told him. Kate didn't even look up at the talking.

"You have both Coulson and Lewis to wake up at this hour rather than me," he stated. She had rarely spoken to Sitwell before this.

"Yes, but they wouldn't have a spare pair of clothes for a teenage girl which is what I need," she explained.

There was a pause before he asked, "How old?"

"Kate, how old are you?" she asked.

"Thirteen-"

"Thirteen," she repeated to Sitwell.

"Thirteen next week, he promised to be home for it," Kate explained.

"Next week," she added into the phone. There was a sigh on the other end.

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Give me an address," he stated. She gave him a place that wasn't too far from their present location. Then, he hung up.

"Daddy never liked me," Kate said which seemed to be some of that over-sharing that Stephen had warned her about.

"I bet that's not true," Jessica argued as she readjusted her grip on the girl.

"It is. He always liked Susan better. I was mom's favorite but she's dead," she stated.

Something clicked in Jessica's mind.

Her sister was named Susan, her mom was dead, her dad didn't like bad publicity, she was turning thirteen next week and Jessica noticed now how her clothes weren't cheap.

This was none other than Kate Bishop.

Holy shit.

Getting her home might be a little more complicated than she imagined.

Kate was asleep by the time Sitwell pulled up. Jessica was trying to protect her identity by covering her face. He came out of the car and seemed to study the situation.

"She was raped. I found her in Central Park," she clarified for him. At this, Sitwell stumbled a few steps and she could tell that he was trying not to puke. After a few swallows, he took a deep breath and straightened up.

"She's only a few months older than Gaby. Are you taking her to the hospital? Did you contact her dad?" he asked.

"No, her dad's not in town and she was afraid about the publicity if it got out. I took her to Stephen, that's why she's asleep now," Jessica explained. Sitwell had rolled his eyes at the last.

"Strange isn't the most trustworthy," he stated.

"Yeah, well, I didn't have any options," she retorted back.

"And how do you propose to get Kate Bishop back to her penthouse without a hitch?" Sitwell asked. She didn't ask how he knew so quickly.

"Uh..."

"This is what needs to happen. You get her changed into the clothes I bought. Then, I have a NYPD badge. We'll say that she became disoriented and lost from becoming dehydrated. You're an off duty nurse who helped but she's also a possible crime witness so we'll need to stay the night. You'll need to call Luke and I'll have to call Jazmin," Sitwell explained. This was his area of expertise.

"And that'll work?" she asked.

"We better hope so," he replied. "I'm not about to leave a vulnerable twelve year old alone."

Sitwell already knew Susan was out of town. They wouldn't be on the SHIELD radar so...

"You read all those gossip mags!" Jessica declared.

"Phil has his Wife Swap and stuff, I have my magazines. We all have our ways of coping," he retorted. "Now change her clothes while I call Jazmin."

"Those are good shows," she argued back before carrying Kate to the car.

Jessica cursed herself for falling asleep. The wooden chair in Kate's bedroom shouldn't have been that comfortable. Then again, Danielle had her first tooth coming in which wasn't conducive to sleep otherwise. Kate was sitting up in bed, staring at her. Jessica hadn't bothered with a nightgown or anything, just took her shoes off before settling her in bed.

"I'd hoped it was a nightmare," Kate whispered. Jessica stood up and walked over to her.

"I'm so sorry that it wasn't," Jessica told her.

"I was stupid, I was...there should have been some way of stopping it," the girl complained. Jessica took a chance and sat on the bed with her.

"You are not stupid. It's not your fault. There was nothing you could have done. I know it," she said and Kate looked at her. There seemed to be understanding about what Jessica had revealed. "But I didn't get better on my own. I had help. I think you should see someone. You don't have to tell your dad why."

Kate nodded. "That'll be easy. He's been wanting me to see one anyway. Plus, I'm about the only kid in school who doesn't have a shrink."

"And you have me. This is my private number whenever you need it," Jessica said and gave her one of Sitwell's cards with her information scrawled on the back.

"Thanks," Kate told her as she took it. Then, she looked up. "I'm going to make sure no one can do this to me again."

Her blue eyes were resolute and reminded her of someone else. Before she could think who, the look was gone. Jessica hugged her. She didn't want to lie and tell it wouldn't happen again. Jessica knew that sometimes it did. She hugged her for a second time and joined Sitwell in the outer room.

"Thanks for your help," Jessica told him. He shook his head.

"This could have been Gaby or Linda," he said.

"I'll burn the clothes. We shouldn't need paperwork over this," Jessica stated.

"No, I'll take care of it all," Sitwell insisted. "My car after all. I'll drive you back to the Tower."


	20. The One in Vegas

Title: Friends to the End: The One in Vegas  
Author: Ericadawn16  
Prompt: The wonderful mash-up of Friends and Avengers  
Character/Pairing(s): Clint/Jessica Drew, Jessica Drew/Vange Whedon, Tony/Pepper, Phil/Clint, Clint/Natasha, Clint/?, Natasha/?  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: Slash, lots of slash, mild language  
Spoilers: a few references here and there, nothing big  
Summary: Clint is headed for a showdown with Magneto and Pietro in Las Vegas but his teammates aren't about to let him go alone and the villains might not be alone either...

Beta: HUGE Thanks to lavendergaia and Valoscope

ADDITIONAL WARNING! I was more graphic with the violence than usual.

The One in Vegas

November 22, 2017

"You must do this a lot," Clint commented. He sat next to Steve who was drawing Natasha on a sketchbook. As soon as he sat down, a waitress had his "regular" drink in her hand and wanted to know what Clint wanted.

"A little bit," Steve admitted. "What did you get her?"

"That's private, that's..." Clint tried to argue.

"You did get her something, right?" the other asked.

Clint wouldn't just forget Tasha's birthday but she also wasn't the easiest person to buy for. In fact, she really wasn't the easiest person when it came to her birthday at all. To insure she actually came to her surprise party, they had employed their stealthiest abilities.

As for a birthday gift, so far all he had was two bottles of her favorite Russian Vodka and a plush cat he'd bought off the internet that was dressed like the Black Widow.

Clint also guessed that Steve came to this cafe often because hardly a soul gave him a second glance. On the other hand, Clint was getting a couple of stares.

"Of course, I did," he tried to assure Steve about the present.

Then, there was a gust of wind except his gut told him differently. It also seemed to him that the gust had a blue tint to it. He looked down to see a folded note tucked into Steve's sketchbook. When he unfolded it, he saw typed coordinates inside and a message, We'll be waiting.

"What just happened?" Steve asked.

"Pietro Frank, it appears he and his dear old dad finally has a plan for me," he explained. Eight months of waiting to see what Magneto would do about leaving his daughter, Wanda, at the altar was finally done.

Natasha hadn't been on a mission with Ava Ayala before since Ava insisted on only taking missions that wouldn't distract from her studies. Parker and his team had turned out pretty well.

Jessica Jones had only given missions since August once she was comfortable with leaving her baby daughter behind. She was more laidback about it than Jessica Drew had been after Ben had been born.

"Come on, you only need to debrief us, we all fill out some paperwork and go home. Let's sightsee a bit. I've never been in Rome before," Jessica complained. Ava also looked a bit longingly out the window of their hotel room.

Natasha kept forgetting how young they really were. She'd been pleased to have full responsibility over the case and they were finished in record time.

"I suppose...," she started and before she had even finished, Ava and Jessica were high-fiving each other. The three women headed for Corso. She hoped they weren't planning something. It was bad enough that the rest had planned a surprise party for when they returned. Birthdays weren't celebrated in the Red Room. They only celebrated successful kills. Clint hadn't been big on birthdays either. Then, Coulson came along. Coulson cared about stuff like that. Sometimes, she envied Phil a bit for being able to be so normal but she supposed a lot of that was because his childhood had been so regular, so boring. If nothing else, she had Clint's annual vodka to look forward to.

Ava and Jessica explored the shops like old friends. Natasha followed behind; feeling more like their handler in this than ever. She stood outside one shop, not wanting to go in yet another one. It was times like this when she missed smoking. You didn't need a reason to just stop and stand for a bit. You could take out your cigarette and lighter and no one would bother you except for a cigarette or lighter for them. Now, if you stood outside, people viewed you as though you were either planning to panhandle or pickpocket. She crossed her arms and thought about taking out her phone. Then, she remembered Coulson had her real phone and all she had on her was a temporary SHIELD issue for missions. It was probably just birthday greetings anyway. Those could wait. She'd probably delete them without reading, depending on her mood. Words were so meaningless sometimes.

She studied those around her. It was an innate habit that would probably never go away. Then, from the corner of her eye, she saw something. There was dark, shaggy hair and a glint of metal. She walked towards the glimpse at a brisk pace, going one way and then another. It was no use. It couldn't be possibly anyway. It shouldn't be possible.

Still, Natasha could have sworn that she'd seen Winter.

"JARVIS, pull up these coordinates," Steve commanded and read them off the note.

"It's my problem," Clint argued. "I'm the one that fucked up."

"You're a part of this team which makes it everyone's problem. Remember everyone agreed that I should be leader," Steve reminded him. He didn't like to pull rank but it seemed necessary in this case.

"Those coordinates correspond with the Venetian hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada," Jarvis responded.

It was an odd choice for Magneto. Then, he noticed how Clint was already moving towards the elevator.

"Stop! Jarvis, assemble the Avengers!" he called. He crossed his arms and waited for them to meet him and Clint on the team's floor.

"I want to resolve this without anyone getting hurt," the archer argued.

"If you go out there alone, it's suicide," Steve retorted. He wasn't about to lose Clint. He didn't want to lose anyone ever again even though he knew that was an impossible wish. They'd already lost Maria.

The elevator opened to reveal Tony, Sam Wilson and Luke carrying Danielle.

"What's going on?" Tony asked

"Clint has an invitation from Magneto and wants to go alone," Steve explained.

"Yeah, that'll go well," Tony spat. "Are you jonsing for a SHIELD approved funeral that much?"

Clint frowned.

"The girls should be coming back soon. We could have the whole team gathered for a proper meeting where we come up with a plan," Luke suggested.

"That would make more sense," Tony said before stepping close to Steve. "Get Phil here."

Steve tried to ignore the smell of Tony's cologne as he nodded.

"Make sure that Clint doesn't leave this floor," Steve told the others.

"I'm not a child," Clint argued as Danielle began to wail.

Jessica Drew-Whedon cuddled closer to Evangeline Drew-Whedon.

"I love these lazy afternoons," her wife whispered. Jess smiled.

"Me, too," she agreed. "But I have to go."

"Why?" Vange asked.

"They asked me to intercept Tasha at the tower and keep her occupied until the party was ready," Jess explained.

"I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't even show up. She has to know what they're doing," Vange said.

"She loves Phil and Clint too much to let them down," Jess argued. "Bring Ben around 7:30 so he can give Aunt Tasha our gift."

Vange nodded before giving her another kiss. Sheryl Crow played in the background.

"What do you mean that you lost him?" Phil asked after arriving at the meeting floor for Avengers Tower.

"I had to change Danielle," Luke explained. His daughter sat on his lap blowing spit bubbles.

"He told me he was getting a book from his floor," Sam stated. Wilson was usually not his gullible. Was it the holiday season that was making them all so naive?

"Jarvis?" Phil asked.

"Mister Barton left the tower twenty minutes ago on his bike with one of Mister Stark's keycards for the jet," Jarvis answered.

"Son of a bitch!" Tony exclaimed. "Why didn't you stop him?"

"I was not informed that I should," Jarvis informed them in his usual calm manner. Phil could tell Tony was trying not to let his anger show. The elevator opened but Phil didn't look back.

"We must go after him. He is our comrade," Thor exclaimed.

"Go after who?" asked a voice he recognized as Jess. He cringed on the inside. This was not the best time for her to show up.

"Clint is on his way to Vegas to take on Magneto and Quicksilver by himself," Bruce explained.

"No, no, that is not acceptable!" Jess yelled. "I'm coming with you."

"Jess..."

"Phil..." she mimicked him.

"Clint made me promise that the two of you would never be on the same mission just in case...," Phil spoke. After a few seconds, he added, "He didn't want Ben to be an orphan like he was."

"That's very noble but this isn't just any mission. This is a mission where the father of my son is facing imminent death and I want to get that asshole back. Let's go," she stated. He knew that tone. There would be no arguing with her.

"You do realize that leaving right now before telling your wife will probably result in sleeping on the couch," Tony pointed out. Luke nodded.

Jess looked at her watch.

"I have three hours before Vange finds out anything's wrong. I can handle a little dragon sometimes..."

"Literally," Tony chimed in and made a face. "Okay, Jarvis, have the remaining jet ready in fifteen minutes."

Phil stepped closer to Luke who stood up.

"I think we both know getting a babysitter in fifteen minutes isn't going to happen," he said and the older man nodded.

"We'll make sure you, Pepper and anyone else is filled in. Darcy should be coming shortly but she does not do baby duty as she has told me numerous times even though baby duty is just slightly less messy than handling Stark in his younger days," Phil told him which elicited a smile.

Luke shifted Danielle to one arm and clapped a hand on Phil's shoulder.

"Get our Hawkeye back, man," he said.

"Will do," Phil agreed. The depth of Clint's situation was starting to catch up with him and he didn't like it.

Darcy was in charge. This was a lot scarier than she had ever imagined. Luckily, she had Pepper although Pepper was pissed. Only Darcy and Luke were around to help Pepper with the party that none of them was sure was going to happen at this point and tomorrow's stuff. She missed Janet who wasn't an actual intern anymore and only visited from time to time.

Darcy kept forgetting that tomorrow was Thanksgiving. It wasn't like she had some epic family dinner to attend. Last year, Sitwell had taken pity on her and taken her home. Then, she had introduced his children to the epicness of Doctor Who. The elevator opened.

"That's not Natasha already, is it?" Pepper asked while peeking her head out of the kitchen. "I told everyone I hired for the party to come later."

Darcy looked to see Danny and the other Sam come out.

"Where's Danielle?" Danny asked. "Aunt May?"

"No, all my calls go straight to voicemail. She's with my parents," Luke said. There was a pause where he just stopped after that last word.

"Still weird, isn't it?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, I spent the last five years knowing they were dead and now they're not and they can't believe their son's engaged with a kid," he said with a shrug.

Darcy knew that Luke's parents also had plenty of time on their hands since Fury still had them on probation; pending the final results of their physical and psychological exams after being held captive by a villain for five years.

The sounds of "Toxic" by Britney Spears filled the air and her pocket vibrated.

Shit.

Phil's calls were being forwarded to her phone and she hadn't much experience with the caller. She walked towards the window, away from the younger men.

"Hi, it's Lewis. Coulson's not available right now. What's up?" she asked. The woman on the other end rattled off a bunch of facts and figures.

"Mhmm, mmhmm, I'll get right on it, thanks," she said and hung up.

"What is it?" Sam asked. Darcy put up her hand as she dialed Sitwell's number.

"Darcy?" he asked.

"Sir, we have a problem; a major problem. I was just called by SWORD and Las Vegas is going to be a shitstorm. I'll bring everyone left behind but you need to bring a team, too...oh, and Fury, he'll need to know," Darcy began to ramble. She didn't want to forget anything.

"Was it Julia?" Sitwell asked.

"Higher," Darcy answered. She heard Sitwell inhaling sharply and letting it out. She took her glasses off, rubbed her temples and put them back on again.

"I'll get together a team and take care of Fury. Do you need a quintjet?" Sitwell asked. Darcy looked at Pepper and asked, "Is Tony's third jet up and running?"

"It can be," Pepper answered. "What's going on?"

"We'll meet you in Vegas," Darcy stated and hung up before turning to Pepper. "It's bigger than Magneto. SWORD called to say that they were getting readings in Las Vegas that were consistent with Extremis."

Pepper seemed to pale a bit and nod.

"I'll have the jet ready. I won't be coming with you," she explained. Darcy didn't think Tony would like her coming anyway.

"Miss Lewis, Romanov, Ayala and Jones have just arrived downstairs," Jarvis informed her.

"Good, keep them there. We're coming," she said and hoped she wouldn't let Phil down.

Clint kept his hand on the collapsible bow as he walked around the hotel. Maybe Magneto should have given him something more specific than coordinates. The hotel was a large place complete with fake canals like Venice. There was even some sort of celebrity wedding keeping security at a premium and an outside perimeter of paparazzi that were more than happy to take his photo as he went in. He tried to ignore them. The waiting before a fight was always the worst part.

Kate Bishop tried to smile and be the dutiful sister/bridesmaid in the large decorated room. The truth was that it all felt so fake. In front of all these guests, they were pretending to be the perfect family when Susan had been secretly living with her fiancé for months, her dad was never home anymore and when he was, he didn't want to hear about her 'therapist stuff'. Her dad and Susan loved all the balls and parties for charity. She found herself not understanding it. Why just raise money when they should be helping out in the soup kitchens themselves like she did?

The first few times, it was hard to go back after what happened and she hadn't been able to bring herself to walk through Central Park on the way back again. However, it did confirm that people needed to help each other. She wasn't sure what she would have done if Jessica Jones hadn't happened by. There was this nagging feeling that she should be doing more, making sure it couldn't happen to anyone else but what could a thirteen year old do? Even the teacher she'd taken self defense classes from had mocked her age and treated her like a little girl. Kate was used to her professors at Juliard that expected her to act like an adult with her studies. She didn't try to take any more self defense lessons after that. Instead, she had turned to Youtube.

At least, Susan agreed to make all the bridesmaid dresses purple...Kate's favorite color. She smiled even though she didn't feel like it inside. Her new brother in law kissed her sister. Then, there was the sound of glass breaking behind them. Screams filled the air. Kate took a breath and tried not let herself think back to that night. They needed her.

Clint strung up another arrow. This wasn't what he was expecting. These appeared to be Extremis soldiers. Then, he couldn't move his right arm. He stomped hard in case it was someone invisible.

"No, only me," came Magneto's voice. He turned as best as he could and cursed that his bracers had metal alloys to them. "You hurt my little girl. This hurts me and when someone hurts me, I hurt them worse. You have a little boy so I'm sure you understand."

Before Magneto had even finished speaking, Clint saw a blur and his right arm being grabbed as it was released from Magneto's hold. Pietro smiled as he snapped Clint's arm like a twig. Clint tried his best but let out a whimper from the pain and fell to his knees.

"That should do it," Magneto spoke with a nod. Then, Pietro started to run and Magneto flew away. However, their soldiers remained. Clint forced himself to his feet despite the pain but his quiver strap slipped, hitting the wound. He had to look away as he noticed the white bone sticking out. Clint slipped the quiver off as gingerly as he could and left it. There was no way he could shoot arrows with one hand yet this was his mess and he should defend his friends from it. His left hand reached for the gun attached to his leg.

Abigail Brand was beginning to have second thoughts about this SWORD business. It was one thing to defend the universe and another to be in a firefight in the middle of a Las Vegas hotel. They were even surrounded by Avengers, no less. She'd never fought with them before. It had only been a few weeks since she'd been recruited. The blond, Captain America, gave her hair a funny look. Most humans assumed her hair to be dyed green. He seemed to see through that.

She spotted the mutant called Pyro setting the drapes on fire, probably to cause confusion so she readied her gun. Two could play that game.

Loki heard a chirp and knew it came from his phone. He took it out to spot a text message comprised of only coordinates. However, he was expecting a more private affair than the battle he found himself in after teleporting. Still, being raised on Asgard had instilled him with natural instincts when it came to battle and he had to admit that he missed the excitement. He summoned forth his staff and knives before taking on the closest foe.

"Get back!" Kate screamed. People began running. Susan took her arm. The fabric covering the ruined windows began to glow and melt. A burning smell permeated the room. Odd beings began coming out of the new holes in the large stretches of fabric. They looked human but something about their expressions didn't feel human. Maybe it was the cold way they were looking at them. One of them pointed in the direction of Kate and Susan. Kate looked around for some sort of plan. The only exits were the windows they were entering and one set of double doors at the back. Then, the leader smiled at them.

"I think they might be after you," Kate whispered.

"Why?" Susan whispered back.

"I don't know but I'm going to try to distract them," Kate explained.

"What? NO!" Susan hissed and looked away. "Dad! You have to stop Kate!"

Kate was already picking up a chair and throwing it at the intruders. She was pleased at the distance. Her self-taught training was paying off. The intruders grunted and started after her. It was working except for the part where they were chasing her. She started to run for the exit. The guests parted for them like the Red Sea in the Charlton Heston film.

Kate slammed through the door and was granted a split second of decision time. When she heard the sound of weapons from another room, she thought they might be able to help or she could be running towards certain doom. Either way, her sister, dad, Blaine and the guests might have enough time to escape.

She ran towards the sound of screaming and laser weapons.

"Coulson, I found someone you might need," Sitwell spoke, motioning to Bobbi. Phil nodded.

"Might," he agreed. Bobbi had learned that the calmer his demeanor like this, the more worried he was internally. Things didn't look good and to make things more confusing, Magneto had taken off without his supposed foot soldiers. There was also Pyro and... Sybil Dvorak. Bobbi had read the file about Maria Hill's death. Dvorak had aided Mystique by giving Loki a brain aneurysm and nearly killing him when Loki had been on the verge of killing her.

Dvorak should not be taken lightly, should not be faced alone at all yet Bobbi couldn't resist the challenge.

Despite the thrill at first, Loki was starting to get bored. Were they supposed to be challenging? He supposed the soldiers had inhuman strength but not enough to be a challenge to him. Maybe he could make the stakes more interesting for all involved. He reached down froze a portion of the floor. Then, he laughed as the various combatants slipped and fell. Some of the strange soldiers glowed and his ice floor began to melt. Loki frowned at their strange ability.

Bobbi jumped onto the remains of a table before flipping and performing a perfect landing in front of Sybil Dvorak.

"Is something wrong?" Sybil spat.

"Yes, your friends are hurting my friends. I don't tolerate that," Bobbi spoke.

"But there is a lot you can tolerate," the other spat and Bobbi didn't like her tone.

"I don't know what you mean," the Avenger argued.

"Your kind argues for my kind to be registered, to have a national list of us like we're lepers or even more like lepers, your kind seeks to cure us. I can't be cured. More than that, I don't want a cure. I want respect. I want reparations," Sybil growled.

"If you think I don't know what it's like to be looked down on, you're wrong," Bobbi argued.

"Oh, did the poor white girl have someone yell at her once? Did your perfect blond hair have a bad day? You can't possibly understand," Sybil replied. This is when Bobbi let her guard down for a second. It was a second too long. Her windpipe closed. She couldn't breathe as Sybil smiled and the pain traveled downward to her chest. It felt like someone was squeezing her and she knew that someone must be Sybil with her mutant ability. She went for a kick but toppled to the ground. Every breath hurt. One or more of her ribs were definitely fractured. Sybil was grinning harder as her vision started to blur.

Bobbi was sure she was going to die.

Then, she saw Sybil look elsewhere. There was a large green blob. Rand must have come to her rescue. Everything went black.

"Wait, who's that?" Darcy asked as she pointed at a new robot joining the fray. "Or what's that?"

For once, Phil was left speechless for a good fifteen seconds.

"That is one of Stark's designs and since we have Stark and Rhodes already, that leaves...Potts," Phil explained, still watching the robot with a faint pink and purple sheen.

"Holy shit," Darcy declared. "Rescue."

"Focus, I need you to find Barton, Morse and anyone else who needs medical attention," Phil ordered and she nodded. It was an important job and if he didn't have faith in her abilities, he wouldn't have told her to do it. She almost smiled.

"Romanov, we have reports of combatants elsewhere in the building. Take Jones and Ayala with you," Phil ordered. Natasha nodded.

Loki knew what to expect from Sybil Dvorak from last time. As soon as he felt her attacking his brain, he retaliated through magic. Unfortunately, the heavy use left him drained but it felt wrong to leave when the battle was still thick. It looked uncertain which side would prosper in the end.

There was one opponent worth his time and wouldn't push him too far. To be exact, there were two except he had yet to see her. Thor was hitting the strange foes with his hammer. Loki went over to him.

"What happened to you?" Clint asked Bobbi. Her breathing was odd and she clutched her chest so he had a pretty good idea.

"Dvorak broke some of my ribs," she explained.

"You got off light then," he commented.

"Magneto?" Bobbi asked and nodded at his arm. Darcy had almost turned green when she saw it; the highlight of the ordeal so far.

"No, Pietro, turns out that he's not just fast," he corrected her. At least they seemed to be the worst of the injuries so far.

It was all his fault.

"Here, take these," Darcy said, walking up to them with painkillers. Bennie trailed behind her.

"Brother, now is not the place," Thor stated. It made Loki grin. He threw a dagger which Thor deflected. Then, there was the sound of a close fireball. He turned it into ice and it broke onto the thick carpet.

"Loki, you'll pay for what you did to Sybil," said the mutant that everyone seemed to refer to as Pyro.

"I left her alive. Considering that was more consideration than she left me the last time we met, I'd say we were even," Loki retorted.

"Loki!" Thor called. He was sure it was supposed to be a warning against the Extremis soldier coming up on his other side. Loki threw several daggers into him except unlike the earlier ones, this didn't slow him down. He grabbed Loki's arm and his hand grew red like what he saw when they melted his ice floor. Heat moved through his body. It was too much heat. Loki went for the unexpected. He drew the soldier in before using the soldier's own arm to bash into his head. The surprise was enough to let him go.

"Lay off my brother," Thor warned. It was just like when they were young.

"I can take 'are of 'self," Loki tried to say. However, the English words came slow and were difficult to form. His body was still too heated and his magic was still drained.

"Yes, Thor, little brother can take care of himself," Pyro said with a laugh, formed a fireball from his suit and threw it at the other.

No one was allowed to kill Thor except him.

Almost on instinct, Loki stepped forward to muster enough energy to transform this fireball as well. It didn't work. He stumbled and fell directly into the path of the fireball.

Phil could hear Thor's anguished cry from across the room. For a moment, it was though everyone had stilled. Agent Ward gave him a questioning look. Phil gave him a nod to continue what he was doing before he ran to Thor's side, faster than he had ran in a long time. Trying to ignore the stitch in his side and his heavy breath, Phil saw an unbelievable sight. Loki was engulfed in fire with Thor trying to put him out with his cape. It was no use and Phil could see why. Pyro was still controlling the fire and to make things worse, he was making it spread to Thor as well.

"Get Pyro," Phil whispered so his speaker would catch it. Agent May and Drew-Whedon opened fire which didn't provide enough distraction to make him stop but did allow enough time for Coulson to use his taser. As the volts surged through the villain, the fire lost its strength.

"Brother, change into your other form. It might help," Thor pleaded as he used the ragged red cloth to put out the remains of the fire. His own skin was red. Phil came closer. Thor was crying and let out a howl as his pats began to bring up Loki's skin.

"Brother!" Thor cried again. Phil fought back the urge to throw up. The fire had burned off most of Loki's clothes and skin. When Thor tried to comfort his head, black chunks of hair fell off. There was no sound from Loki or sign of life. "No!"

"Thor. Thor, I think he's gone," Phil told him in a soft voice.

"No," the other argued with tears running down his face. "No, he can't be."

Phil studied the battle being fought against the fake sixteenth century decor. It was back to its previous levels and while it was becoming isolated pockets instead of containing the full room, it still wasn't clear who was winning. There wasn't time for this.

"I need medical to my location immediately," Phil spoke and hoped that was more than just Darcy.

Kate was able to lose the soldiers in the large room. There were plenty of distractions and she could fit in small places even with the dress. Well, she had ripped a slit in it.

Then, she spied the neglected bow and quiver that she recognized as Hawkeye's weapon. She looked around but couldn't see him anywhere. Kate picked up the quiver and half-expected someone to yell at her. No one did so she put it on like a backpack. It was a little heavy especially as she bent down to pick up the bow. It was more complicated than the ones featured on Youtube and that she had practiced with. However, the basic mechanism was the same.

She took out an arrow, loaded it in the bow and shot. It was a little wide but it felt good. She tried again and shot a bad guy in the leg. Kate smiled without thinking. She liked this.

Tony lined up his aim and fired. Pepper did the same. Their lasers combined and bounced off Steve's shield to annihilate the Extremis soldier. He tried not to think about his conflicted feelings. While he preferred Pepper to be safe, he was also happy that she could take care of herself. Plus, it was incredibly hot.

Steve was hot, too, especially the way his suit showed off all his curves. Damn, they needed to find a way to correct this love curse thing. It was annoying in the first day and this was nearly eight months later.

Elsewhere on the canals, it was easy to forget that the hotel was under siege and most people evacuated from the interior. Clint had liberated some alcohol from the wedding since it wasn't going to use them. Now, he and Bobbi were drinking in a gondola as it floated along.

"But don't you ever find it contradictory? SHIELD teaches us to win at all costs even if that means killing someone. The Avengers encourage other methods," Clint spoke. "Just because Nat and I were raised how we were doesn't mean we always want to be that way. Shouldn't we have that chance? To be something else?"

"I don't think painkillers and alcohol were a good mix," Bobbi commented. It smelled like something was burning. He also smelled a faint barbecue smell which could mean something very bad had happened. Should they go back? He was such a coward. This was all his fault. What if something happened to Phil or his team?

"But you can't tell me that you're never tempted, that you never think the world would be better if this person wasn't in it," Bobbi argued. No, he had thought that many times, acted on it sometimes. Hadn't he once promised to put an arrow through Loki's eye socket?

"There was this guy we arrested recently. We thought he had terrorist ties, turned out he was heavily into kiddie porn. That guy...I was tempted," Clint admitted. "Things seem different after you have a kid."

"And even Captain America has killed people from time to time," Bobbi pointed out. It made more sense when she said it, or maybe it was the alcohol talking. "But don't give me that crap about how a kid changes everything. You mentioned Romanov and everyone knows she doesn't have kids."

They drank from their respective bottles. Clint used his left hand. There was a Miley Cyrus song playing from somewhere. Bobbie's expression looked like she was a million miles away all of a sudden.

"He asked me to marry him," she said without warning a few minutes later.

"Who?"

"Steve, that's why we broke up," Bobbi admitted. "Now I wonder whether that was a mistake. I mean, I didn't think I was ready. I wasn't sure if I really loved him that way but...what if that was my only chance and I didn't know it?"

"Not true, no way. You're pretty and way smart and funny...and...and a bunch of other cool stuff," he said. The painkillers were definitely kicking in. "You'll get married someday."

"Thanks," Bobbi told him.

Since more of those battling were working together as a team: Tony and Steve with Pepper, Fitz with Rhodey, Bruce with Jennifer and Parker's team, they had finally destroyed most of the combatants, causing the few remaining to flee.

"Uh, Coulson, most of these aren't true Extremis soldiers. They have organic Extremis matter grafted onto robotic drones," Simmons said.

"Make sure they take enough samples to study them," he ordered. Drones would be easier to make and easier to keep track of than human subjects. They needed to find out who was behind this because it definitely wasn't Magneto.

"Sir, we're having problems with Thor," said Agent Brown; one of their finest medics but he hadn't had to deal with Thor before.

"What happened?" Phil asked.

"He's demanding that Laufeyson be removed from the body bag and put on a stretcher. There are no life signs; no reason to believe he could have possibly survived," Brown told him.

Phil looked at the man standing next to Brown.

"Bruce, what do you think?" he asked.

"I...I have to concur," he replied although his answer seemed reluctant.

"He's not going to like that answer," Phil spoke before turning back to Brown. "Never argue with an Asgardian. You tend to end up dead so I want you to humor him as long as it doesn't take away from those who really need it. In fact, get him to Avengers Tower so Thor has privacy to come to terms with it. I'll give him twenty-four hours."

"Yes, sir," Brown agree and left.

"Well, that could have been worse," said a voice with a sigh. Phil couldn't help feeling relieved about her being there.

"Lewis told me that you warned her, thank you," Phil spoke.

"You'd do the same for me," she said with a smile.

"But you should be careful because Peter..."

"AUNT MAY?!" said another familiar voice and they both turned to see Peter still in his costume. Phil gestured to his head and Peter took the mask off. "Aunt May, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you, young man, but I knew you'd want to help Luke and everyone else," May Parker spoke.

"But...but...why are you here?" Peter asked. Phil and May shared a look.

"Peter, you're looking at the head of S.W.O.R.D. aka Sentient World Observation and Response Department and she has been for the last fifteen years," Phil explained.

"So, you were both lying to me all this time?" Peter asked.

"You were also lying to me. Did you really think I wouldn't notice that you were Spider-Man?" May asked. "Julia, settle this up for me. Call me if there are problems. Phil, his debrief can wait for tomorrow?"

Phil nodded.

"Good, I think Peter and I need to have a long talk," May spoke and led her nephew out. Jasper walked up and so did Skye.

"Did you just bring my whole team?" Phil asked.

"Darcy said I should bring a team and they were the most easily available, Blake already has that team out in London," Jasper argued. "Did you see that archer?"

"Yes, and she wasn't one of ours. Actually, she seemed young," Phil spoke.

"She took down three of them," Jasper commented.

"Drones but yeah, Barton's equipment isn't exactly for beginners," Phil agreed.

"Are we talking about Kate Bishop? Because that's who the archer was, she's wearing the same purple bridesmaid dress as a paparazzi photo from this morning and she's right over there," Skye pointed out. Phil walked over to her. She was shaking a little with an incomprehensible expression on her face.

"That was some fine shooting," Phil commended and put a hand on her shoulder. She flinched. Being thirteen, there were only two reasons for why she would be that good and why she would flinch. He resisted the urge to sigh and hated himself for what he had to do next.

"Agent Sitwell, come over here and congratulate her, too," he ordered before whispering to him. "Touch her lightly on the shoulder."

"Agent Sitwell?" Kate asked in a strange tone. "And was that Peter Parker wearing Spider-Man's costume? Is he Spider-Man?"

Damn, that was a rookie mistake.

"Kate, you helped us out a lot," Jasper told her and put his hand on her shoulder as well. Again, she had the same response.

"But you'll need a debriefing in the next few days so we'll be in touch," Phil explained. "Before then, don't tell anyone anything. You got lost on the way out and were rescued by the Avengers, got it?"

Kate nodded. Her blue eyes sparkled as she said, "It was awesome though."

Steve spotted the SWORD agent and walked over to her, holding out his hand.

"Steve Rogers, ma'am," he said. She looked at him for a moment and took it.

"Abigail Brand and yes, I know who you are," she spoke.

"I'm sorry about earlier. My only experience with women with green hair before was a woman who worked for HYDRA. It was unfair to judge you that way," Steve told her.

"Apology accepted although Viper does give us mutants a bad name," she agreed. Steve didn't want to assume anything about her ever again.

"So, you're a mutant then?" he asked.

"Yes, on my mom's side," she explained. "But the hair is from my dad, he wasn't born on this planet. Neither was I."

It was still a little strange. He grew up with Verne, Wells and the Princess of Mars books but it was all theoretical then. Now, he found himself working alongside multiple beings from other planet. He wondered what Bucky would have thought about all of this.

"Who's that?" Abigail asked and pointed at Hank McCoy.

"Oh no..." Steve muttered.

"What?"

"He's a member of the X-Men which means the X-Men knows about this," Steve stated.

"And what's about that?" she asked.

"Their lawyer is married to one of our members and she didn't tell her wife that she was coming," he explained.

"Ouch," Abigail said but she kept watching Hank. It didn't seem like she was surprised at his blue fur. Her gaze was more like she was checking him out.

"Do you want me to introduce the two of you?" Steve offered.

"Oh yes," she answered.

"Any more Extremis?" Jessica asked Natasha who had been much more thorough than she and Ava.

"No, I checked everywhere I could. There's no more sign of them," Natasha explained.

"Oh, that's good. We seem to have been lucky. Some injuries but no fatalities," Jessica told her. "Well, except for Loki."

"Loki?" the other asked with a raised brow.

"Yeah, you know how we thought he and Thor were immortal? Not so much it appears, you just need to cook them to a crisp. It was...weird seeing him that way," Jessica said. Natasha rushed past her to where the others were. She couldn't blame her for wanting to look. How often did you see a dead god?

Jasper came walking past Natasha at a brisk pace.

"Jones, we have a problem. The female Hawkeye we had during battle? It was Kate Bishop. We knew she had some self-defense lessons but nothing like this," Jasper spoke and shook his head.

Actually, this did make sense.

"But she also got into Julliard when she was eight so she's extremely motivated when she wants to be," Jessica commented. Still, it would have been hard to guess it would get this far. "I'll talk to Phil but maybe we won't have to tell him everything."

"Is it true about Loki?" Natasha asked, walking up to Phil. For being a super villain, a lot of people seemed shaken by it. Phil decided he wasn't going to process it until later when he had time. He nodded to Tasha.

"The body's being taken to Avengers Tower so Thor can have some time, but..." Phil trailed off, shaking his head. Then, Darcy ran up. "Where have you been?"

"Trying to find Barton and Morse?" she said with a cringe. Phil tried not to react, Tasha pursed her lips.

"You've lost two agents on painkillers in a hotel where they can easily access alcohol?" Phil asked.

"Yes, but really, with a broken arm and cracked ribs, what's the worst they can get into?" Darcy retorted. Phil and Tasha shared a look. They knew Clint better than that.

"Sir, Fury's landed," Claire informed them. This wasn't going to be pleasant either.


End file.
